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Aging and erections

metalwater

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Well she's not a bad woman. I do care deeply about her, but it feels like it's a one-way thing. I'm always expected to be there for her and to help her with her problems (which I do, willingly) but the moment it comes to something like this I feel like literally every shred of confidence has been taken away from me. I constantly fear judgment if I don't do things exactly the way she wants them.. that can't be healthy.
There are a few awful things women can do to men. What you described is one of them, for her to attack your manhood is not ok and not what a woman does that has interest/love or anything good in mind for you. That is not ok.

Keep searching on this site, it is one of the few places around that has blunt and direct advice about women things. Most modern media tells to just be nice and the woman will also... There is more to it than that...
 

mrgoodstuff

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There are a few awful things women can do to men. What you described is one of them, for her to attack your manhood is not ok and not what a woman does that has interest/love or anything good in mind for you. That is not ok.

Keep searching on this site, it is one of the few places around that has blunt and direct advice about women things. Most modern media tells to just be nice and the woman will also... There is more to it than that...
Give her something to respect. You respect yourself. That second attack your masculinity IS disrespectful. She's using you as her servant by the way. That's the reason she doesn't want to please you. She is SUPPOSED to please you if she values your masculinity.
 

ThisIsSparta

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I'm the one constantly giving / comforting her, yet when the tables are turned I'm left feeling humiliated and weak. And believe me, she has her own issues..

Come to think of it, I don't think she's ever complimented me other than to say how nice I treat her - it's usually a list of complaints or things I'm doing wrong.

Sigh, do you think it's as simple as being with the wrong type of woman? I would have expected my partner to want to help me feel better, not make me feel so awful.
NOW we are talking!

If you dont believe people when they tell you THIS is a bad woman, marry and have a kid with her. You will see her become the ****ing mother of all bad women! You are blinded by her looks and still defend her for being a harpy.

What would i do:

1.) Change your diet. Go on low-carb instead of low calorie.
2.) Work out(MORE!), or even better, get into some martial sports, that will get your head and adrenalin up
3.) Dont go to a doctor, this sheet is clearly on her head, not on your health.
4.) When she goes at you for the next time, shut her up with her own inadequacies, tell her she isnt perfect!
5.) Turn the table around, tell her this happened with no other woman before, so clearly SHE and HER behavior towards you is the real issue!
6.) Show her she is expendable, show her you have options, show her she is NOT the center of your life

The only way i think you are going to get out of this AND keep that waaaman is being aggressive about the whole thing. If you let her force this on you, she will run right over you like a steamroller and cuck you in the aftermath before she drops you like a used tampon.
 

Lookatu

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She wanted sex again yesterday and I said I wanted to, but I was worried the same thing would happen and I didn't want to disappoint her.

Come to think of it, I don't think she's ever complimented me other than to say how nice I treat her - it's usually a list of complaints or things I'm doing wrong.

Sigh, do you think it's as simple as being with the wrong type of woman? I would have expected my partner to want to help me feel better, not make me feel so awful.
At 48yo, I found that the older you get, you need a longer recovery time, boners might be more erratic and inconsistent, your health and nutrition becomes very important, and every little thing can affect your erections, like type of girl, comfort and anxiety, stress, odor, lack of sleep, etc.

There's a lot of helpful advice in this thread. In addition:
  • Try taking ZMA(zink, magnesium) This can make your erections harder but not sustain them.
  • Try taking red Ginseng. This can improve your libido
  • DO NOT watch any porn or masturbate at your age
  • Make sure you have plenty of sleep before you see her
  • Do not eat any type of SOY products
  • There's no shame in carrying either Viagra or Cialis to assist you. You can get 30 pills of generic Viagra(Sildenafil) from Costco for around $18. This pills are so small, it's easy to carry a couple in your wallet. You can excuse yourself to the bathroom and take a Viagra a little before without her knowing.
  • If you haven't yet, go get a testosterone test from the Doctor but make sure you request a number result. Most doctors will just tell you if you are normal but have a wide range on what is "normal". If you get a numbered result back, you can make your own conclusions on what works for you.
  • As we get older, our refactory period is longer meaning we need more time between sex(there will be exceptions of course). Because of this, if I know the gal wants to go multiple rounds, I'll pound her but not ejaculate. I found I get super tired if I ejaculate more than once within a few hour period. There is an ejaculation guideline regarding time in the Tao religion that is age dependent, which I found interesting. This wouldn't be there for no reason IMO. There is some truth to refactory period the older you get.
  • Determine if your erection issues are biological or psychological. If it's biological, you'll know it because you won't have any more morning wood.
  • Lastly, the older you get, the more specific a girl you need to turn you on sexually. When we are younger, pretty much any girl can initiate an erection on us. I found sexual chemistry becomes even more important when we get older. I've had some girls that couldn't give me a long lasting erection. Thought I had some issues until I met a gal that instantly gives them to me again.
If you find yourself not being able to perform, don't let a woman shame you. It's her fault for not being able to get you excited. Flip the script and always put the responsibility on her to get you there, especially if she's being a brat about it.
 

mrgoodstuff

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At 48yo, I found that the older you get, you need a longer recovery time, boners might be more erratic and inconsistent, your health and nutrition becomes very important, and every little thing can affect your erections, like type of girl, comfort and anxiety, stress, odor, lack of sleep, etc.

There's a lot of helpful advice in this thread. In addition:
  • Try taking ZMA(zink, magnesium) This can make your erections harder but not sustain them.
  • Try taking red Ginseng. This can improve your libido
  • DO NOT watch any porn or masturbate at your age
  • Make sure you have plenty of sleep before you see her
  • Do not eat any type of SOY products
  • There's no shame in carrying either Viagra or Cialis to assist you. You can get 30 pills of generic Viagra(Sildenafil) from Costco for around $18. This pills are so small, it's easy to carry a couple in your wallet. You can excuse yourself to the bathroom and take a Viagra a little before without her knowing.
  • If you haven't yet, go get a testosterone test from the Doctor but make sure you request a number result. Most doctors will just tell you if you are normal but have a wide range on what is "normal". If you get a numbered result back, you can make your own conclusions on what works for you.
  • As we get older, our refactory period is longer meaning we need more time between sex(there will be exceptions of course). Because of this, if I know the gal wants to go multiple rounds, I'll pound her but not ejaculate. I found I get super tired if I ejaculate more than once within a few hour period. There is an ejaculation guideline regarding time in the Tao religion that is age dependent, which I found interesting. This wouldn't be there for no reason IMO. There is some truth to refactory period the older you get.
  • Determine if your erection issues are biological or psychological. If it's biological, you'll know it because you won't have any more morning wood.
  • Lastly, the older you get, the more specific a girl you need to turn you on sexually. When we are younger, pretty much any girl can initiate an erection on us. I found sexual chemistry becomes even more important when we get older. I've had some girls that couldn't give me a long lasting erection. Thought I had some issues until I met a gal that instantly gives them to me again.
If you find yourself not being able to perform, don't let a woman shame you. It's her fault for not being able to get you excited. Flip the script and always put the responsibility on her to get you there, especially if she's being a brat about it.
Did you hear her comments? For guys even with strong erections, a lady can change the conversation to a point where it's hard to stay aroused... She's been "stabbing" him with her comments, and she's not trying to please him. He does all the work for her to make her feel good and supported, and she's not doing the same for him. That would drain ANYONE, even if it's something you sign up for.
 

Lookatu

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Did you hear her comments? For guys even with strong erections, a lady can change the conversation to a point where it's hard to stay aroused... She's been "stabbing" him with her comments, and she's not trying to please him. He does all the work for her to make her feel good and supported, and she's not doing the same for him. That would drain ANYONE, even if it's something you sign up for.
Yeah she's a selfish b1tch. She probably doesn't give good head either and only cares about herself. She's clearly a low quality gal only for plate duties for sure. I was just trying to give advice to OP in general and not regarding her specifically.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yeah she's a selfish b1tch. She probably doesn't give good head either and only cares about herself. She's clearly a low quality gal only for plate duties for sure. I was just trying to give advice to OP in general and not regarding her specifically.
Not even good plate cause the sex won't be good.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Did you hear her comments? For guys even with strong erections, a lady can change the conversation to a point where it's hard to stay aroused... She's been "stabbing" him with her comments, and she's not trying to please him. He does all the work for her to make her feel good and supported, and she's not doing the same for him. That would drain ANYONE, even if it's something you sign up for.
Ask about bills or if you remembered to bring something in from the car. Then ask why you left the cap off the toothpaste.
 

mrgoodstuff

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“A wicked woman abateth the courage, maketh an heavy countenance and a wounded heart: a woman that will not comfort her husband in distress maketh weak hands and feeble knees.”

"A wicked woman " is just a woman whose using you.

"Abadeth the courage " means she diminishes your courage.

"Wounded heart" self explanatory


Basically means she takes your strength
 

daproest1

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1. No masturbation. Ever. Period.

2. no porn.

3. get on TRT. Do NOT start without HCG. I’d argue that the HCG is more important than the testosterone itself. Do NOT control for estrogen unless you start to feel side effects. Estrogen is needed for sex drive in males. No arimadex. Nothing. If u need it, then take it. Otherwise, just test and HCG. The test should be taken once or twice A WEEK, and the hcg should be taken every other day. If your doctor doesn’t agree, find a different doctor. If your doctor won’t send u HCG (which would make no sense since it’s not a controlled substance, unlike testosterone), find a different doctor. If your doctor wants to prescribe only 1CC of test every 2 weeks, find a different doctor. Fire them all until u find one that knows what he’s doing. This is your health we’re talking about.

4. raise those calories. With your hormones optimized, your body will partition the nutrients correctly.

5. cardio.

6. if your d!ck’s still being retarded, and you’re not on an ssri, or on an sndri, or anything like that, take cialis daily. It’s not like viagra, And has more health benefits than just your penis.

7. this is 7, but it should’ve been 1. ARE U SLEEPING? 8 hours? Every day? If not, change that asap.

8. Don’t ever explain yourself to her again. Ever. Eat her out. Do whatever. But do NOT for the love of god try and explain to her why u can’t perform. She doesn’t care. She’ll store that in her girl “eventually I’ll leave this guy” memory bank files.

bro you’re 40. It’s normal. Get on test. Just do it. No. It’s not dangerous. Feel free to inbox me. Been studying medicine for years. FOR FUN. I am not a doctor. I do argue with them though. They have a god complex, forget that science is always evolving, and most are too lazy to keep up.
 

Stoic

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I'm 37 too. My plate is 28.

Her sex drive is through the roof.

Honestly a little viagara works every time. It was a game changer for me. It's so easy. For me 20 minutes before sex and I'm ready to go.
 

mr.confused

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I'm 37 too. My plate is 28.

Her sex drive is through the roof.

Honestly a little viagara works every time. It was a game changer for me. It's so easy. For me 20 minutes before sex and I'm ready to go.
I actually went to the doctor immediately after starting the thread and the doc told me all my vitals are normal. He could prescribe me meds if I wanted but he didn't think I needed it. He actually said if I couldn't discuss this with my girlfriend then maybe she's not right for me.

I just wanted to know if this was a normal thing when you get to this age? Getting hard most of the time isn't a problem, I just find I struggle going for round 2 and sometimes I just don't get as hard as other days (usually when I'm exhausted). I feel like the odd one out.
 

ThisIsSparta

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I just wanted to know if this was a normal thing when you get to this age? Getting hard most of the time isn't a problem, I just find I struggle going for round 2 and sometimes I just don't get as hard as other days (usually when I'm exhausted). I feel like the odd one out.
Your **** is fine.......

More important, what are you going to do about your woman?
 

Lookatu

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I just wanted to know if this was a normal thing when you get to this age? Getting hard most of the time isn't a problem, I just find I struggle going for round 2 and sometimes I just don't get as hard as other days (usually when I'm exhausted). I feel like the odd one out.
I would say so but it's different for different people. I have a friend that is 50yo and he has no issues with erections or keeping them. He makes fun of his other friends for using Viagra. I know guys that's had issues from mid 30's. Personally for me, the inconsistencies were first noticed when I was 45yo.
I'd say follow the advice given here and keep going.
 

mr.confused

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Your **** is fine.......

More important, what are you going to do about your woman?
That's a good question. She does have good qualities. I'm not going to try and defend her character online, but for some reason this whole episode has cut me really deep. Right now I don't want to have sex. I'm honestly scared I'll be humiliated again - I think that alone is a good sign that things aren't great.

But thanks to all for all your opinions. I guess I don't feel so alone now.
 

speed dawg

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I would offer that you likely have a frame problem. You're worried about what she thinks, which is uncovering some insecurity. Who knows what it is, only you can figure that out.

I've had this problem in the past, and found that it is generally in the mind. Yes, health plays a role, but not NEARLY as big as we want to think. Talking about taking pills and what not, skirts around the main issue.

A few months ago I was in that mindset. I thought I was getting old and could only really perform for a couple of nights a week. Then she started rubbing on my **** one night after we had done it the night before. I didn't think I'd be ready to roll, and was kinda tired. But due to a lot of soul searching I had been doing, I decided f*ck it, I didn't care if I got hard or not. I was rock hard for an hour and she j*zzed all over the place, multiple times. I had even had issues with blowing too early, but for whatever reason I didn't that night.

Cliff's Notes: IT'S IN YOUR HEAD. Kill that demon. Be happy with yourself. Yes, eat clean and all that, make sure you get enough zinc and all the other minerals, blah blah. But you have to be content with you. Take back the relationship, it's on your terms.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I'm 37 too. My plate is 28.

Her sex drive is through the roof.

Honestly a little viagara works every time. It was a game changer for me. It's so easy. For me 20 minutes before sex and I'm ready to go.
Stoic,

Cialis lasts a day and a half, and depending on your cause of ED might be a better product. Viagra lasts for 4 hrs had more side effects.
Most men's ED is due to mental issues during the current gender "re organization".

If you were the bull for a year, in a room of the finest babes with the best pvssies that all desired you, your ED would mysteriously
be cured...
 

Lookatu

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Stoic,

Cialis lasts a day and a half, and depending on your cause of ED might be a better product. Viagra lasts for 4 hrs had more side effects.
Most men's ED is due to mental issues during the current gender "re organization".

If you were the bull for a year, in a room of the finest babes with the best pvssies that all desired you, your ED would mysteriously
be cured...
I do like Cialis better having tried both but there is no generic Cialis that's readily available in the US vs generic Viagra. I don't think anyone is going to pay full price out of their pocket for the genuine Cialis or Viagra($35-40 a pill).
 

mrgoodstuff

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I do like Cialis better having tried both but there is no generic Cialis that's readily available in the US vs generic Viagra. I don't think anyone is going to pay full price out of their pocket for the genuine Cialis or Viagra($35-40 a pill).
Some generics available in canada for around 1.50 per pill..
 
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