Age shaming ramping up for men who play the field after the age of 30.

[Plinco]

What's wrong in calling Peter Pan's behaviour a Peter Pan's behaviour?

Conformity is not a proper standard for human beings, the proper standard for action is reason. I don't have enough information to diagnose, but my guess is, is that you have a weak ego and you are timid when it comes to asserting yourself independently. In any way, you definitely have a problem, and it shows whenever you uphold conformity to what other people think versus using your own head.

I'm not trying to put you down. If I were you, I would address the issue you have with the pressure you feel that you have to conform to before you are in any condition to give advice to other people.

 

[CornbreadFed]

When I see my married guy friends, the hope is that we are doing something active and not just sitting at a bar/restaurant. Many male friendships are based around activities and that's a good thing.

What activities are these?

 

[SW15]

What activities are these?

It can be anything. Tennis has been the biggest one for me and there's not a lot of socialization during a tennis game.

Plenty of men go golfing together. Fishing is another common activity for men. Hunting, surfing, and off road biking are activities that can be good ones.

 

[Manure Spherian]

male friend eventually caved

Why did he?

 

[SW15]

Why did he?

He caved into his girlfriend's ultimatum because he felt somewhat out of place with all the weddings that were going on in our mutual social circle in the late 2010s. Additionally, a number of his college friends who I don't know were also getting married during that time.

He didn't need to cave to her ultimatum at all. He had a 100+ notch count to his name at the moment. He could have replaced her. She has never possessed much that is worth a long term commitment. I think his blue pill ideology (despite 100+ notches) eventually caused him to cave in. I think he lacked the emotional strength to challenge the cultural narrative of getting monogamously married and having children.

He also seemed to lack the self awareness that he was better off as a 6'4", former collegiate athlete seducer guy.

 

[CornbreadFed]

It can be anything. Tennis has been the biggest one for me and there's not a lot of socialization during a tennis game.

Plenty of men go golfing together. Fishing is another common activity for men. Hunting, surfing, and off road biking are activities that can be good ones.

To be frank, a forever single 30s guy will not spend his free time investing in hobbies like these. If the end result doesn't include any ounce of pvssy or helping them obtain pvssy then they will see it as a waste of time.

 

[CornbreadFed]

He caved into his girlfriend's ultimatum because he felt somewhat out of place with all the weddings that were going on in our mutual social circle in the late 2010s. Additionally, a number of his college friends who I don't know were also getting married during that time.

He didn't need to cave to her ultimatum at all. He had a 100+ notch count to his name at the moment. He could have replaced her. She has never possessed much that is worth a long term commitment. I think his blue pill ideology (despite 100+ notches) eventually caused him to cave in. I think he lacked the emotional strength to challenge the cultural narrative of getting monogamously married and having children.

He also seemed to lack the self awareness that he was better off as a 6'4", former collegiate athlete seducer guy.

My friend caved to his girlfriend's ultimatum too and he never had an issue with women either. This is the guy that could just play darts at a bar and still go home with a woman. Yes, your friend could replace her body, but he probably got sick of the game and was ready to settle down especially if he wants kids. Plus, you are not him, so you never really saw what happened behind closed doors. Maybe he realized dating was going to get harder and knew it was time to call it quits. Eventually the 3-step dating process gets old, and he started valuing other experiences. I do not miss going to the same 3 dating spots and having the same 3 dating convos to hopefully get some sex. Like I brought up before, maybe I want to spend my free time playing Tennis, hunting, fishing or I would rather go on a safari with a girl then by myself.

 

[Manure Spherian]

He also seemed to lack the self awareness that he was better off as a 6'4", former collegiate athlete seducer guy.

Does he like having a family?

 

[SW15]

Does he like having a family?

He has told me that my lifestyle choices (never marrying, not having kids) are superior to mine.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Conformity is not a proper standard for human beings, the proper standard for action is reason. I don't have enough information to diagnose, but my guess is, is that you have a weak ego and you are timid when it comes to asserting yourself independently. In any way, you definitely have a problem, and it shows whenever you uphold conformity to what other people think versus using your own head.

I'm not trying to put you down. If I were you, I would address the issue you have with the pressure you feel that you have to conform to before you are in any condition to give advice to other people.

Are you still butthurt about me assessing your idea of achieving top 1% SMV after being 40 and cold-approaching late teens as rather deranged? But seriously, keep thinking you are the smart one man, I am perfectly fine with that.

Here is a good example: 30+ never married men are more likely to be chronic complainers in social groups because guys in LTRs/marriages are basically trained to present themselves as more socially accountable/stable because nothing dries a woman's panties more than her man complaining about pointless stuff. As a result, we either hold it in or we find other avenues to vent at. My friend has been complaining about his job the past 5 years and is acting like he was the first one to know about the Tech white collar crisis going on right now. No man, we have known, but we just haven't been crying about it every day like you have been . If you aren't a chronic complainer then congrats, but I think this is an example of a man that hasn't been tested/grounded vs a man that has.

Also, the Wojak doomerist/negative mentality is one thing too. Like dude, I have mouths to feed and bills to pay, so your doomerist approach to every event/just be a passport bro in the Philippines is not going to vibe well with me.

Moreover, single guys starting +30 to +35 are also considered as hard to treat in social circles, some ppl will even exclude them from social circles because some "friend activities" in some social circles are considered as working the best for couples as well as lack of pair for a single friend may create some tensions - when I was 34 I was again single and felt disconnected like that from my already married friends - sometimes it's also the single person that distance himself (or herself) from friends once he or she will become single - whether to evade all the "we are really sorry for you" comforting or painful questions considering break up (field tested). It's also about progress of interests as well as responsibilities in life - some guys are worrying what school their children will attend or how to juggle or work and family responsibilities, while others are still just chasing tails, partying and travelling all the time (field tested as wel) - if there are no common hobbies or job related topics, then it's more and more difficult to maintain friendship and eventually someone is outside the social circle.

i get it. i also have daughter. thing i worry about is if she gets a blue pill guy (and in m world i could ensure that) will she be happy. we have so many threads about how women are ultimately unhappy with blue pill guy. for sure my girl, is a girl. and is subject to all the things girls feel.

i would prefer a red pill guy or better a white pill guy. the guy can do it all, but choose to care for her. if he is true blue, she will end up not respecting him after some time.

a red pill guy that choose to improve even more.

Well if positive blue bill is white pill, then let it be white pill - self-qualified red pills are often in fact misoginists in camouflage so it's a risky wish imo. Probably the best is if daughter will catch eye of some natural alpha with blue/white pilled mentality that you actually like and vice versa - thankfully most of women actually have abudance of choice when young so with proper values and straight head, the girl will choose right - I just hope to be around if she will not.

 

[BadBoy89]

Society seems to be better at processing divorced 30+ men with kids. People seem to be more understanding of that situation than the 30+, never married, childless man.

Society will value the man if his FIRST child was with a childless, never married woman, and the birth was natural.

Society prefers the woman was never married before, but they will look past it, If the man didn‘t marry her, it’s ok too for society, But the woman has to be childless for the 1st one, After that, if a man‘s 2nd child or more was with a single mother, or if he adopts, society doesn’t care. It’s the man‘s 1st child that’s a big deal for society.

Heck if was rich, lived in big house, and my wife and I had 5 kids, 3 boys and 2 boys, and my wife said “let’s adopt a 6 month year old girl“. I would say “let’s do it.”

If was rich, lived in big house, and my wife and I had 0 kids, and my wife said “let’s adopt a 6 month year old girl“. I would say “no chance in hell”

 

[SW15]

Most single, childless men don't realize that their married friends with friends would prefer their single, childless lifestyle.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Honestly, who cares?

Barely anyone. Those who harbor delusions like those in The OP("I'm so important, millions, if not billions, give a damn who I boff!!!")are case studies in what Lasch dubbed The Culture Of Narcissisism, several decades ago

 

[plumber]

To be frank, a forever single 30s guy will not spend his free time investing in hobbies like these. If the end result doesn't include any ounce of pvssy or helping them obtain pvssy then they will see it as a waste of time.

interesting. it looks this way sometimes and sometime not. can you tell more ?

 

[Plinco]

Are you still butthurt about me assessing your idea of achieving top 1% SMV after being 40 and cold-approaching late teens as rather deranged? But seriously, keep thinking you are the smart one man, I am perfectly fine with that.

That's your comeback?! lol

How about I'll date a hot 19 ish year old just to p!ss you off

 

[CornbreadFed]

Most single, childless men don't realize that their married friends with friends would prefer their single, childless lifestyle.

I think it’s just grass is greener syndrome tbh.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Most single, childless men don't realize that their married friends with friends would prefer their single, childless lifestyle.

I think it’s just grass is greener syndrome tbh.

One ends up with a new set of "problems", when those we we're sweating over 5 minutes ago either vanish, or at the very least are drastically reduced

 

[pipeman84]

Don't get me wrong but since I am father of a daughter, my dream for her is to eventually meet guy that is not more than 5 years older than her (and preferably bluepilled) if she will start dating at the age of 18 and not more than 7-8 years older than her if she will not find a BF until 25 or so and I will actively oppose any idea of dating +10 years older guys at least until that point as for me as I want what is best for my my family and IDGAF about older players if they will cross any plan I make for my family.

I think you having this focus on age alone could cause issues with your daughter. The fact of the matter is, like attracts like. The quality of your daughter will determine the quality of her boyfriend/husband. As far as how good their relationship is going to be, whether he's the same age or 15yrs older is as relevant as whether he's bald or has a full crop of hair.