"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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after the cut off, she's back -> regaining power

joker79

Senior Don Juan
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guys what's up. Quick advice for me: she's seems to be back, after being pushy and needy I cut off everything and acted smooth and disinterested. Result: last week we kissed again but I didn't push for any other date, meeting, whatever. I'm currently not pushing for anything and not contacting her, just enjoying my life. I don't want to make the same mistake twice so I let her play the game with her timing. I see a risk not to go anywhere but I showed already what I want so she's aware. I'm taking it easy and mainly wait for her moves. REally struggling with my (AFC) nature. Good strategy?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The Gambler

Senior Don Juan
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Looks like the power may have shifted to you now. If so, congratulations.

The one problem I see is that she is who she is.... You may be able to control her for a while and reset the frame to be more the way you want it to be, but this will probably require constant effort on your part. It might just be better to start over with a different woman whose personality is more compatible with yours.
 

Cremasta

Master Don Juan
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joker79 said:
I don't want to make the same mistake twice so I let her play the game with her timing.
All good, but this is the chink in your armor. Don't always be available according to her timing. Make sure you say 'no' every now and then.
If she gets pushy and asks what you're doing, just say "I've got something else lined up" and stonewall her if she tries to dig further. You don't owe her any explanations about what you do with your time.
 

joker79

Senior Don Juan
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Guys will let her go, no patience anymore. We went to a party together and she was with me, hugging and showing high IL. Our colleagues noticed that but she didn't care, just me (really good sign). Then we kissed again but no way to take her in my flat, she resists but don't know why. Then push and pull, some nice txts then she disappeared, no answer to some rare txt I send (don't like texting). She's playing games, there's someone else, she's busy, don't know. I'm not getting what I want and if I push, she backs off. Lose-lose situation.
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
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you need to go to the DJ bible and read the entire anti dump section for a month straight. read it and read it again and again and again and again.

the anti dump machine is not supposed to make every girl you meet want to **** you. what it will do guranteed, is ensure that every girl you deal with, is actually interested in ****ing you. this one isn't. at least now she isn't.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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