Blacksheep
Master Don Juan
Some weeks ago I was really down, feeling miserable in a lot of aspects. Also I lost meaning for things in life.
So, after this post and several replies that I read here, I started to observe some stuffs that was making my symptoms worse like depressive, low self-esteem and feeling sad all the time.
One point was my therapy sessions, as the last ones every time I finished it I ended feeling so miserable all the time. And everything I said to my therapist he tried to prove how I was wrong. And I don't think this is the kind of support we need when we are depressed or sad about something. So, I got it as a redflag.
Made some researches and found a lot of people that has reported some similar issues and that scared me, because it was so much people.
So, it come a time when I decided to end up this service. And then I had the final proof. He tried everything to manipulate me and doesn't allow me to finish. I gave an excuse that I had no money, and he made some "offers" that was always the same, but spoken differently. After 5x time telling I want to quit it, he then accepted it... I had to be assertive saying that I've already made my decision and I wouldn't go back or argue anymore.
So, there was almost 3 weeks I quit my therapy and since then I can feel my self esteem come back, I'm not feeling a **** anymore and also become more confident again. Maybe even better than before.
It's feeling that I've regained control of my life. And would like to thank everyone who replied my last post, cause it really helped me understanding those problems and I'm gratefully for it. A tip from @Spaz that was very useful, was the one to focus on creating small winnings in life... It helps a lot when you're down.
For next steps I'm rearranging my values on the LTR I started when I started my therapy and need to think more about that to decide which way I follow. Cause even if I have feelings for this girl, I have strong disbeliefs about LTR's and knowing all the things I've learned from past experiences and some books, it's quite hard to invest on it. PS.: Also, reading Sex at Dawn makes me understand relationships in a whole different way.
In someways, even not accepting the restrictions that a woman tries to impose, I feel that I lose a freedom that I had choice on it (like deciding or not to see the person on some weekend and just have your time whenever you want, for example). Cause I know our freedom ends when it comes to the other's person freedom, and we are already slave to society rules. So I'm working on to get more clarity about that.
So, after this post and several replies that I read here, I started to observe some stuffs that was making my symptoms worse like depressive, low self-esteem and feeling sad all the time.
One point was my therapy sessions, as the last ones every time I finished it I ended feeling so miserable all the time. And everything I said to my therapist he tried to prove how I was wrong. And I don't think this is the kind of support we need when we are depressed or sad about something. So, I got it as a redflag.
Made some researches and found a lot of people that has reported some similar issues and that scared me, because it was so much people.
So, it come a time when I decided to end up this service. And then I had the final proof. He tried everything to manipulate me and doesn't allow me to finish. I gave an excuse that I had no money, and he made some "offers" that was always the same, but spoken differently. After 5x time telling I want to quit it, he then accepted it... I had to be assertive saying that I've already made my decision and I wouldn't go back or argue anymore.
So, there was almost 3 weeks I quit my therapy and since then I can feel my self esteem come back, I'm not feeling a **** anymore and also become more confident again. Maybe even better than before.
It's feeling that I've regained control of my life. And would like to thank everyone who replied my last post, cause it really helped me understanding those problems and I'm gratefully for it. A tip from @Spaz that was very useful, was the one to focus on creating small winnings in life... It helps a lot when you're down.
For next steps I'm rearranging my values on the LTR I started when I started my therapy and need to think more about that to decide which way I follow. Cause even if I have feelings for this girl, I have strong disbeliefs about LTR's and knowing all the things I've learned from past experiences and some books, it's quite hard to invest on it. PS.: Also, reading Sex at Dawn makes me understand relationships in a whole different way.
In someways, even not accepting the restrictions that a woman tries to impose, I feel that I lose a freedom that I had choice on it (like deciding or not to see the person on some weekend and just have your time whenever you want, for example). Cause I know our freedom ends when it comes to the other's person freedom, and we are already slave to society rules. So I'm working on to get more clarity about that.