"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

After a brief research i found that i was involved a girl with BPD

georgie24

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hey guys

before i start the finger pointing something is matter with me for to have stayed with her for a couple years.

AFter having some alone time last few days and being online i fugured out and matched up the fact she is borderline personality disorder, she is 8 years younger than i am as well.

im a few days out of the mess, im hurting and want her back like heroin,,,, for the best is i do what the research has said i do RUN abd stop contact.

im going through withdrawls bad right now and want her back

this is so hard
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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jophil28

Master Don Juan
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Stay away, one day at a time.
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
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A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
georgie24 said:
hey guys

before i start the finger pointing something is matter with me for to have stayed with her for a couple years.

AFter having some alone time last few days and being online i fugured out and matched up the fact she is borderline personality disorder, she is 8 years younger than i am as well.

im a few days out of the mess, im hurting and want her back like heroin,,,, for the best is i do what the research has said i do RUN abd stop contact.

im going through withdrawls bad right now and want her back

this is so hard
8 years younger than you is...how old? (Put your age in your profile if you want to post here)
 

Johnnyventana

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georgie28,

It is good the you self-identified that something about yourself attracted you to her and kept you in the relationship. Read the link below for more on that, and more on her. It is a very helpful read, especially given your self-awareness.

http://gettinbetter.com/obsessed.html (OBSESSED WITH A BORDERLINE -
A Matter of Attraction and Revulsion)
 
M

MonkeyButt

Guest
No contact is the key.

I survived (barely) a 14 year marriage with a BPD/Narcissist which ended terribly and left me devastated.

1) Go no contact (do not check her face book, emails, *.*, nothing!).
2) Make yourself go out, be around people, use meetup.com or something.
3) Work on yourself (especially exercise).
4) Learn about yourself, not her disease. You'll be tempted, but after the initial awakening, waste no more time on it. You're hanging on.
5) Get a support group. Whether it be parents, friends (tough for a guy), or a support group (I used OJAR.com - didn't know about this site at the time).

Keep posting, there are anonymous friends out here!

M
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

5string

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The only thing more dangerous to one's emotional well being than oneitis, is oneitis for a BPD.
 

Atom Smasher

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georgie24 said:
day 2 of true NC !
Keep it up. You're withdrawing from a drug that would have eaten you alive had you stayed.

It WILL get easier. Stay strong. Remember that the tendency is to start remembering all the good idealized memories, and to block out the bad. Keep in mind that this selective memory is a complete illusion and you will see clearly soon.

You found out that a BPD always erodes and eventually can destroy a man's spirit. There's no going back (to that relationship). We're here to help and encourage.
 
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