"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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After a brief research i found that i was involved a girl with BPD

georgie24

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hey guys

before i start the finger pointing something is matter with me for to have stayed with her for a couple years.

AFter having some alone time last few days and being online i fugured out and matched up the fact she is borderline personality disorder, she is 8 years younger than i am as well.

im a few days out of the mess, im hurting and want her back like heroin,,,, for the best is i do what the research has said i do RUN abd stop contact.

im going through withdrawls bad right now and want her back

this is so hard
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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jophil28

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Stay away, one day at a time.
 

squirrels

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georgie24 said:
hey guys

before i start the finger pointing something is matter with me for to have stayed with her for a couple years.

AFter having some alone time last few days and being online i fugured out and matched up the fact she is borderline personality disorder, she is 8 years younger than i am as well.

im a few days out of the mess, im hurting and want her back like heroin,,,, for the best is i do what the research has said i do RUN abd stop contact.

im going through withdrawls bad right now and want her back

this is so hard
8 years younger than you is...how old? (Put your age in your profile if you want to post here)
 

Johnnyventana

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georgie28,

It is good the you self-identified that something about yourself attracted you to her and kept you in the relationship. Read the link below for more on that, and more on her. It is a very helpful read, especially given your self-awareness.

http://gettinbetter.com/obsessed.html (OBSESSED WITH A BORDERLINE -
A Matter of Attraction and Revulsion)
 
M

MonkeyButt

Guest
No contact is the key.

I survived (barely) a 14 year marriage with a BPD/Narcissist which ended terribly and left me devastated.

1) Go no contact (do not check her face book, emails, *.*, nothing!).
2) Make yourself go out, be around people, use meetup.com or something.
3) Work on yourself (especially exercise).
4) Learn about yourself, not her disease. You'll be tempted, but after the initial awakening, waste no more time on it. You're hanging on.
5) Get a support group. Whether it be parents, friends (tough for a guy), or a support group (I used OJAR.com - didn't know about this site at the time).

Keep posting, there are anonymous friends out here!

M
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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5string

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The only thing more dangerous to one's emotional well being than oneitis, is oneitis for a BPD.
 

Atom Smasher

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georgie24 said:
day 2 of true NC !
Keep it up. You're withdrawing from a drug that would have eaten you alive had you stayed.

It WILL get easier. Stay strong. Remember that the tendency is to start remembering all the good idealized memories, and to block out the bad. Keep in mind that this selective memory is a complete illusion and you will see clearly soon.

You found out that a BPD always erodes and eventually can destroy a man's spirit. There's no going back (to that relationship). We're here to help and encourage.
 
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