One on One
Master Don Juan
Alright, here's an example of my situation:
Today I was in class and decided to chat up this girl sitting next to me. We talked about where we went to college, the class, and she mentioned she went clubbing. So, we talked about that since I go clubbing too. We go to some of the same clubs in downtown DC. I built up good rapport. She was a nice girl and had a moderate to high IL. However, I was not that attracted to her. So, I was in a perfect situation to go for a number close. I had the line in my head, "give me your number and I'll hit you up sometime when I go out to the clubs." I would have used that on a girl I was interested in.
Now, what's the problem? Sure, I didn't miss out on any girl I wanted, but I missed out on a possible connection. Surely, she goes to the clubs with her girl friends and we could have all gone together, my friends and hers. Maybe I would have wanted one of her friends. I was afraid to number close with her, though, because I didn't want her to get the impression that I wanted her. Part of my problem is that a lot of girls tend to be attracted to me (trying not to be ****y here ). I'm tall, dark, attractive, and what not so I'm afraid if I chat up a girl and then ask for her number, she'll get the wrong idea and I don't like leading people on. I think this stems from my AFC-days when I though of number-asking as a huge deal, when I know it's really nothing.
This was just one example, but I do this constantly. I'll start chatting with a girl and then if I decide I'm not interested, I'll go cold on her when I probably should stay warm and try to make a connection and meet some of her friends. I don't have many connections so I should probably make some.
Anyways, can anyone give me some advice or deciper my problem?
Today I was in class and decided to chat up this girl sitting next to me. We talked about where we went to college, the class, and she mentioned she went clubbing. So, we talked about that since I go clubbing too. We go to some of the same clubs in downtown DC. I built up good rapport. She was a nice girl and had a moderate to high IL. However, I was not that attracted to her. So, I was in a perfect situation to go for a number close. I had the line in my head, "give me your number and I'll hit you up sometime when I go out to the clubs." I would have used that on a girl I was interested in.
Now, what's the problem? Sure, I didn't miss out on any girl I wanted, but I missed out on a possible connection. Surely, she goes to the clubs with her girl friends and we could have all gone together, my friends and hers. Maybe I would have wanted one of her friends. I was afraid to number close with her, though, because I didn't want her to get the impression that I wanted her. Part of my problem is that a lot of girls tend to be attracted to me (trying not to be ****y here ). I'm tall, dark, attractive, and what not so I'm afraid if I chat up a girl and then ask for her number, she'll get the wrong idea and I don't like leading people on. I think this stems from my AFC-days when I though of number-asking as a huge deal, when I know it's really nothing.
This was just one example, but I do this constantly. I'll start chatting with a girl and then if I decide I'm not interested, I'll go cold on her when I probably should stay warm and try to make a connection and meet some of her friends. I don't have many connections so I should probably make some.
Anyways, can anyone give me some advice or deciper my problem?