AFCs here is a tip

[00Kevin]

If you are sad and in pain over a girl or feeling very desperate to love then the fact is you are NOT ready for her or any woman.

Having a woman won't heal your wounds it will only cover it up.

 

[knglerxt]

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I don't care.

That's easy to say if you've had relationships before. Go 25 years without a woman, and then see if it doesn't bother you. Most guys have no idea what it feels like to see reminders that you've never had a woman about a 1,000 times a day. You can't even step out your front door or turn on the T.V. without being bombarded by it. I guess I'm supposed to be a machine and not be bothered by this.

 

[Fortunate_Juan]

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I don't care.

That's easy to say if you've had relationships before. Go 25 years without a woman, and then see if it doesn't bother you. Most guys have no idea what it feels like to see reminders that you've never had a woman about a 1,000 times a day. You can't even step out your front door or turn on the T.V. without being bombarded by it. I guess I'm supposed to be a machine and not be bothered by this.

Why be bothered by something you cannot change. 25 years have passed (well not really because if you're like most guys you didn't really have interest in girls until about 9-10 years old). What's done is done. Stop whining and do something about it now instead of looking back and moping around.

 

[00Kevin]

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I don't care.

That's easy to say if you've had relationships before. Go 25 years without a woman, and then see if it doesn't bother you. Most guys have no idea what it feels like to see reminders that you've never had a woman about a 1,000 times a day. You can't even step out your front door or turn on the T.V. without being bombarded by it. I guess I'm supposed to be a machine and not be bothered by this.

You need to accept the truth about these crazy women today and realize that there are still good girls out there. But being desperate and causing yourself to suffer just isn't going to work for the rest of your life. It will just cause more pain. Ending that pain is no easy task it does take time and you can't simply act like a machine. You have to first be at one with yourself and then focus on qualifying girls a lot more. Don't just go after one to feed an emotional need go after many and study them. Categorize them and qualify them.

For example, if you get fired from your job you can't just sit around your house all day and be lazy. Sure you might need a day or so to get over it but at some point you have to get off your fat lazy ass and do something about it. Send your resume out to 1000s of places if you have to. Even walk into companies and hand them out. If you have to move to another country just to find work then so be it.

Men are willing to work hard to find a good job, but many don't want to put the same effort into finding a good woman. Having a relationship with an americanize woman is like having a low paying job in mexico. What you have to do is get off your ass and work hard at it. Accept the fact that there are very few quality women in america.

 

[knglerxt]

Why be bothered by something you cannot change. 25 years have passed (well not really because if you're like most guys you didn't really have interest in girls until about 9-10 years old). What's done is done. Stop whining and do something about it now instead of looking back and moping around.

How's an introverted, quiet guy supposed to meet women?

I agree that there are certain things you can change about yourself, but I don't think my introverted ways are going anywhere. I've never been a social person and probably never will be. That's just the way it is.

On the other hand, I have just as much of a sex drive as any other guy out there. Like most people, I can't stay celibate my whole life. So, this creates a nice Catch-22.

 

[Bjj_playa]

How's an introverted, quiet guy supposed to meet women?

I agree that there are certain things you can change about yourself, but I don't think my introverted ways are going anywhere. I've never been a social person and probably never will be. That's just the way it is.

On the other hand, I have just as much of a sex drive as any other guy out there. Like most people, I can't stay celibate my whole life. So, this creates a nice Catch-22.

its people like you who make me work as hard as i do to overcome this ****. im 17 years old and no way in hell am i gona be in your position when im in my 20's. and i know what your going through because i was shy and introverted most of my life and everyday im getting better and learning more because i want to change. thanks for reminding me not to end up like you.

 

[DJF or John]

Kevin....your post is why I made that thread!

You say,

"You need to accept the truth about these crazy women today and realize that there are still good girls out there. But being desperate and causing yourself to suffer just isn't going to work for the rest of your life. It will just cause more pain."

Exactly! So then why do you guys preach to these other guys on here to SPEND their time learning all these tips and techniques? When you look at the overall picture, you will STILL:

1. GET REJECTED
2. MEET CRAZY CHICKS
3. GET FLAKED ON
4. GET DISRESPECTED (of course that's just one time and she's done)

Knowing that there's no "saftey net," why do you guys still insist on training guys to take the focus off themselves and on tips and techniques?

That's why I said, focus on yourself, find out what you want in a chick, and when you meet chicks that don't fit YOUR bill......kick her azz to the crib.

Now Kevin, you say that if a guy is "stuck" on one girl, he should just get away from women. See it's guys like you that I hate Kevin.

It's guys like you that really don't know a damn thing about what you're talking about......but unfortunately, a lot of guys would probably "listen" to your bullshyt.

If guys would hear me out more, and follow my road more, I can personally guarantee not only will they have a BETTER romantic life, but they will have a FULL romantic life. Not just getting some stanking pvssy that another guy could pay her money to hit anyway, but they will have women in their life that are fine AND care for the guy! Yes that's right, it's called "Lovers and Friends." Pvssy and Protection. You guys focus too much on just the pvssy part, you should focus on both, and build up a group of women in your life that offer both! That my friend is how you do it!

On top of that.....the guy will also have a better financial stability. He'll be rich in romance and rich in finance.

But unfortunately, only 1% of guys in America are rich in finance and romance. That's why when I get up here and create a thread that's totally DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER BULLSHYT, 99% of you think I'm crazy, and think I'm just "leading you on."

But I just hope the 1% of you, take heed to what I say.

1. Turn away from the techniques, and turn to a mirror. And find yourself, find your strengths, the power(God) within, and your calling. Find it.
2. Begin tailoring your life to fit your inner self. Allow your inner self to come forth and live.
3. From the inside, get a "picture" of your chick. Now filter through all these women and find WHAT YOU WANT! Fvck what women want! Find the chick that you want! Fvck what your guy buddies want...find the chick that you want!

I speak to the 1% of you that are "like me." And that's different from the pack. I speak to you, and I will continue speaking to you as long as I come on this forum. I will make threads and posts for "you." For the other 99%, they will never understand. Lol, that's why I couldn't be a financial planner, lol. While I have the wisdom at only 23 to be a hell of a financial planner, I can't put up with people and their "theories" that are so incorrect.

 

[logicallefty]

I think the closest thing to magic for guys who are 25 and never had a girlfriend is this site.. Read read read, do do do... It isn't all easy stuff. You may have to take slow baby steps in cracking your shyness in order to talk to women. If that means starting out by saying "hi" and walking away to one girl a week, just one, and working up from there, then so be it... Some guys may weigh 340 lbs like I once did (or more) and have to work their ass off dieting and exercising in order to get women to be attracted to them. None of it's easy, but the answers are all here, I strongly believe that.. I think all of us on this site, for lack of a better term, are a "support group" for our fellow brothers in these struggles.. That's a huge positive in dealing with any kind of major issue in life.

 

[knglerxt]

I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not. Some people are social and extroverted; some people aren't. I just happen to be on the extreme end of the spectrum. I'm not going to totally change my personality to get a woman. If you want to do this, be my guest.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not. Some people are social and extroverted; some people aren't. I just happen to be on the extreme end of the spectrum. I'm not going to totally change my personality to get a woman. If you want to do this, be my guest.

Out of curiousity, when is your birthday? You can just give me the month of the year if you want. I am doing a survey related to personality types.

 

[knglerxt]

August 3, 1981

 

[DJF or John]

knglerxt yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Here's one of "me"! You my friend will be the man in just a short amount of time! Yes! Here's one of the 1%!

My buddy says,

"I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not."

Yes! Nobody needs techniques.....and nobody damn sure wants to be some made up "don juan." I am a REAL PERSON.....kngler is a REAL PERSON...don juan is NOT A REAL PERSON. The point I keep trying to make to these guys is, "What makes you think YOU AREN'T GREAT? Why does the DON JUAN have to be the GREAT ONE?" A chick rejects a guy, and these guys conclude the guy is fvcked up, WHAT IF THE CHICK IS FVCKED UP?? Lol, then what makes it sooo funny, is that after they study their tips and techniques, THEY STILL GET REJECTED!!! LOL, shyt, if a chick can STILL reject you when using tips, then why not just sit back and be yourself and get rejected? At least you'll have more fun that way, lol, I do. And guess what, rejection only lasts a little while, because after the chick rejects you, we just go to the next chick lol. It's the chicks that accepts us that we spend all the time with, and since you'll be being yourself now...this time it'll be much more enjoyable! Lol, Kngler....I can paint pictures to them for days and they still won't get it!

Kngler continues,

"Some people are social and extroverted; some people aren't. I just happen to be on the extreme end of the spectrum. I'm not going to totally change my personality to get a woman. If you want to do this, be my guest."

YES!!! YES!!!!! YES!!!!

I'm sorry, but I'm happy as hell right now. I can't contain myself. :yes: We have a winner ladies and gentlemen! Yes! Yes! Yes!

 

[banGbro]

The key is, IMO, understand relationships. What that means is pick a theory, study it, and stick with it. Once you understand a theory, and do some reframing you'll realize all your past mistakes.

That is the key, if you realize that something was a mistake, that a) you are able to move on, and b) you are able to learn from it.



I picked DD for my study. And he does a very nice job with mental exercises, especially reframing. If youre a AFC I would recommend you stop crying and start reading, or better yet watching his videos.

 

[WC2]

I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not. Some people are social and extroverted; some people aren't. I just happen to be on the extreme end of the spectrum. I'm not going to totally change my personality to get a woman. If you want to do this, be my guest.

Have you considered being socially introverted has many more CONs than not being able to pickup women?

Have you considered that being socially introverted takes a toll on your success in the workplace, family, and friends?

These are not beliefs, they are facts.

And I'm not lashing out at you; that would just be a waste of time. I'm simply being brutally honest. I've never really been extremely introverted, but at a younger age I did flirt with the line that separates a normal person from an introvert.

I doubt you will find any bad stories on people who have transformed themselves from introverts into extroverts. It's one of the most difficult hardships any person could be asked to undertake, but the benefits are endless.

You can't really look back in the past. Be positive. While 25 sounds like an old age to overcome such hardships, it's really not that old in reality. You're still young. You're still healthy I'm assuming, and there's a great deal of great time s left; if you want them that is.

People aren't born social introverts. They are raised social introverts. Some will choose to change themselves, but most won't. What you are is your decision. If you really want to be successful, then you will be.

Me or nor anyone else needs to tell someone what they need to do; I'm sure you know exactly what needs to be done to adjust your life. I'm just here to assure you that the benefits on the other side far outweigh the hardships.

 

[DJF or John]

Hey WC WRONG!

"Have you considered that being socially introverted takes a toll on your success in the workplace, family, and friends?"

WRONG!

Most of the successful businessman and salesmen I know are introverted. It's called, "Calm Enthusiasm."

It's the idiot that's jumping up and down in my face saying take this product or buy this house that I'm scared of. But of course, the overly excited guy has success too, success is not tied to a "personality," unlike majority of these "Sales Managers" tend to think.

WC says,

" I'm simply being brutally honest."

Brutally is correct, honest you are not. Maybe misinformed probably. So I would say you are SHOWING how brutally misinformed you are.

"I doubt you will find any bad stories on people who have transformed themselves from introverts into extroverts."

You sound like an idiot. The guy who is SUCCESSFUL and RICH, is often the QUIETEST in the room. The guy who is fvcking all the chicks is usually the most LAID BACK. And why? Well, I got money, I'm sexually satisfied, I got all these fine azz chicks hanging on my arm....all I want to do now is kick back and enjoy a beer.

"It's one of the most difficult hardships any person could be asked to undertake, but the benefits are endless."

You HAVE NOT reached SATISFICATION IN YOUR LIFE. You are still on the inside lacking peace.

"People aren't born social introverts. They are raised social introverts."

99% of people are fvcked up. Yes that probably includes our parents. So that you are right about. The part about being an introvert or extrovert really makes no difference. Again, as I said in the other post, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

But your "theory" is wrong. And here it begins again...."theories." I wish that for just one day, all you guys on this site would step out of your "theories" and come join me and the 1% of successful and happy and joyful people over here in "life."

 

[WC2]

Hey WC WRONG!

"Have you considered that being socially introverted takes a toll on your success in the workplace, family, and friends?"

WRONG!

Most of the successful businessman and salesmen I know are introverted. It's called, "Calm Enthusiasm."

It's the idiot that's jumping up and down in my face saying take this product or buy this house that I'm scared of. But of course he has success too.

But your "theory" is wrong. And here it begins again...."theories." I wish that for just one day, all you guys on this site would step out of your "theories" and come join the me and the 1% of successful and happy and joyful people over here in "life."

I suppose everyone's entitled to their opinion

But you're telling me that social introverts have more success in the workplace than social extroverts? So I suppose the "theory" that most businesses look for very personable people is a myth? I suppose the "theory" that great salesman are usually very personable is a myth? And lastly, I suppose the "theory" that those who can sell a product can sell themselves even better is a myth?

Look, point is you're not arguing theories, you're arguing facts.

Once in awhile in the tech industry a very introverted person will have success, due to some feat of intelligence and planning, but how did they eventually become successful?

They had to find those who could speak for them. Do you really think successful introverts can communicate their product to their customers? Oh come on if you can't have an intelligent conversation with a person, then how do you expect to manipulate a sales market? And then you might say oh well these stupid salesman think that personality isn't tied to success. And then you'll find out that most successful people alive today were once salesman once in their lives. I wonder why?

Have you experienced owning a business? If you're not personable to your employees, boy do the tables turn fast. I don't know what you define as success or life, but being successful rarely comes easily and is never about being "laid back". That's why we still have kids who sit at home and burn with their friends till they're 26. Yeah they're really living the life; off their parents money that is.

 

[Pappadapolis]

Giving Up/Quitting

Have you considered being socially introverted has many more CONs than not being able to pickup women?

Have you considered that being socially introverted takes a toll on your success in the workplace, family, and friends?

These are not beliefs, they are facts.

And I'm not lashing out at you; that would just be a waste of time. I'm simply being brutally honest. I've never really been extremely introverted, but at a younger age I did flirt with the line that separates a normal person from an introvert.

I doubt you will find any bad stories on people who have transformed themselves from introverts into extroverts. It's one of the most difficult hardships any person could be asked to undertake, but the benefits are endless.

You can't really look back in the past. Be positive. While 25 sounds like an old age to overcome such hardships, it's really not that old in reality. You're still young. You're still healthy I'm assuming, and there's a great deal of great time s left; if you want them that is.

People aren't born social introverts. They are raised social introverts. Some will choose to change themselves, but most won't. What you are is your decision. If you really want to be successful, then you will be.

Me or nor anyone else needs to tell someone what they need to do; I'm sure you know exactly what needs to be done to adjust your life. I'm just here to assure you that the benefits on the other side far outweigh the hardships.

WC2 is right. Saying that you will never change will keep you in the same position that got you here in the first place. It's like saying, "I'm not going to discipline my child because they'll never listen to me anyway." The tips on this site are things that people have done that worked for them.

The problem I had is that I always kept winding up in the friend zone by "just being myself". The tips on this site got me out of that mode and my sucess with girls has been a lot better.

It's all about confidence. Women can sense if you don't have it. Not having confidence turns them off. Do I get every woman I want? Of course not, but I wouldn't get any if I wasn't proactive about it. If you don't believe you're the man, they won't.

You have to make the first move and talk to them, it's is rare that a chick will approach you (unless they are fat).

 

[WC2]

Well if anyone is the man jumping up and down in the room, judging by your post it's yourself. Don't get your panties in a bunch just because someone has challenged your viewpoint.

I don't know but you might want to checkup on your definitions of social introvert and extrovert. An introvert isn't laid back because he chooses to be. He's laid back because he doesn't know of any other way to act.

Just because you're extroverted doesn't mean you're not laid back. Look here, I'm the last one to be yelling and screaming when I go out with co-workers and friends, but I do know how to level and talk with people when I feel like it.

It sounds like you're dreaming. Being successful ain't about "being laid back" and "having fine azz *****es." Sounds like you're dreaming about being a rap artist or a movie star. Either way, the more power to you. It sounds like you have very inspirational dreams.

As far as being laid back with women, whatever that's fine. I myself don't like laying a bunch of words on women when I see them. But being laid back and being a social introvert isn't the same. And just because you're an extrovert in the workplace, doesn't mean you're can't keep yourself to a few wise words when it comes to talking to women.

Theres a lot to be said about people who live by strict rules and regulations, and there's a lot to be said about people who only care about $ and are obsessed with success, but never really find that real success is enjoying the life around you. And I think that's what you're getting at. But when you reach a certain age reality slaps you in the face and you realize that in order to live out your dreams of enjoying life, you must complete some tasks along the way. It's not always an easy path.

 

[Yapper]

hey kids, let's stop tossing around big words we don't understand. being introverted or extroverted is actually related to individual differences in brain function and is something you can't change. sure you can learn to act more social if you're really introverted but you'll never be a natural extrovert.

 

[DJF or John]

I want to respond to Papp, in a minute...

WC says,

"But you're telling me that social introverts have more success in the workplace than social extroverts?"

NO...you are telling "me" (who's successful in business and hang out with nothing but these types of peopel) that to BE successful in business you need to be an extrovert. That's what you are saying, and it's wrong.

"So I suppose the "theory" that most businesses look for very personable people is a myth?"

Personable is a person people trust. I don't have to be an extrovert for people to trust me. Continue....

"I suppose the "theory" that great salesman are usually very personable is a myth?"

No it isn't, relationships are all I have in business. If my services are great but no one trusts me, then what's the point. I don't have to be an extrovert though, for people to trust me. Continue....

"I suppose the "theory" that those who can sell a product can sell themselves even better is a myth?"

No it isn't. (If I can show you that I can save you $25,000 a year on your taxes, would you be interested?) If I ask this question to a person struggling to pay taxes and who pays high taxes, they will answer YES. Now all I do is show them that I can back up what I say, and I have a "SALE." Most Sales Managers and other people think that Sales is about having a Bubbly personality. Hey, it makes great talk time, but again, if you want to sale something, find a market in need, and show them how you can solve their problem.

But, anyway, continue....

"Look, point is you're not arguing theories, you're arguing facts."

Fact is the towers went down on 9-11. Fact is Chris Webber just signed on with the Pistons (YES!), fact is I got over 6 figures in my bank account. These are facts. What you are saying is a theory. The difference between a fact and a theory is that a theory always reveals itself to lack solid truth, a fact CANNOT be nothing but the truth, UNLESS, a situation changes. Like if we go back in time and stop 9-11, then the towers falling wouldn't be a fact anymore. Facts can also change, they aren't set in stone. Chris Webber can leave the Pistons, and I could go broke, but we all know that's not happening....because my shyt is put up.

But anyway, continue....

"Once in awhile in the tech industry a very introverted person will have success, due to some feat of intelligence and planning."

Dude, seriously, come to the other side. When you become financially free, REALLY....as they say in the hood, come "holla" at me.

"Do you really think successful introverts can communicate their product to their customers? Oh come on if you can't have an intelligent conversation with a person, then how do you expect to manipulate a sales market?"

You are very confused. An introverted person is a reserved person. Laid back person. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with them because they choose to be laid back. Dude, what the hell is your problem, lol? Lol!

"Have you experienced owning a business? If you're not personable to your employees, boy do the tables turn fast."

Let me tell you something, I've been in sales since I was 18, I own manage two Corporations, I fill 4 Independent Contractor Sales Positions, and I have a Real Estate Business. I don't know, I think that's enough experience, but what do you think?