AFC or DJ?!?

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Resident DJ

Don Juan

Jun 28, 2004

This topic somewhat relates (for me) to another one floating around...something along the lines of "how often do you sarge". I thought about it, and realized i'm ALWAYS sarging, pretty much no matter where i'm at, EXCEPT ON THE JOB. I go to work to make money, not pick up chicks.

There's plenty of opportunity to mack off the clock, there's no reason to possibly jeopardize your career just to pick up a chick. I guess there's a chance it could work out well, but a far greater chance for it to have negative results. I'd say you did ok. Mack off the clock.

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.