Advice to deal with guy who acts alpha

[Nikar]

Ok, so I'm part of the local community group that hosts events for tourists visiting my area. Its a nonprofit, volunteery kind of organization. You just volunteer your time when you're free, no salary whatever.

Now, we have this monthly "meeting" for organizers, where we sit and have dinner, and discuss the organization's recent events and happenings.

However, 85% of the convo will eventually degenerate into gossip, politics and meaningless BS, which is draining to my soul.

The leader of the group knows that I'm avoiding these meetings, and told me "Make yourself free this Fri @ 9 pm". Sounds like an alpha technique to make me yield indirectly, if the 48 Laws of Power book is anything to go by.

What is the most alpha way for me to reply if I don't want to turn up without offending him? I love to host these local tour events, just that I dislike going to these organizers meetings for reasons mentioned above.

My usual way to handle this is to say I'm busy, but it can only works a couple of times.

In the past, I've encountered similar "commands" from other guys and I would submit to them like a true beta, and resulted in them overriding me. I'm determined to put a stop to this.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Ok, so I'm part of the local community group that hosts events for tourists visiting my area. Its a nonprofit, volunteery kind of organization. You just volunteer your time when you're free, no salary whatever.

Now, we have this monthly "meeting" for organizers, where we sit and have dinner, and discuss the organization's recent events and happenings.

However, 85% of the convo will eventually degenerate into gossip, politics and meaningless BS, which is draining to my soul.

The leader of the group knows that I'm avoiding these meetings, and told me "Make yourself free this Fri @ 9 pm". Sounds like an alpha technique to make me yield indirectly, if the 48 Laws of Power book is anything to go by.

What is the most alpha way for me to reply if I don't want to turn up without offending him? I love to host these local tour events, just that I dislike going to these organizers meetings for reasons mentioned above.

My usual way to handle this is to say I'm busy, but it can only works a couple of times.

In the past, I've encountered similar "commands" from other guys and I would submit to them like a true beta, and resulted in them overriding me. I'm determined to put a stop to this.

I got you. You feel they are going to out BS you at these things and make you look weaker to the rest of the group. I'm glad you are aware of it.

Your going to have to have things outside of this group to frame your identity. I'm not sure I would go on there unless I needed to or it benefited me greatly either.

 

[zinc4]

......

 

[zinc4]

I would have looked him in the eye and said no I'm busy.....

If he said anything about it quit the group and or tell him his commanding tone is unacceptable....unless its someone in charge of paying you...your boss manager, thus is never acceptable. And he's not alpha....an alpha doesn't need to get off on pulling power trips like that. This is a volunteer group....he has no business talking to you like that. He sounds very beta to me trying to act tough.

 

[BrainDamage92]

"Make yourself free"


Ok this is where I would go from friendly to fuking annoyed.

"Are you giving me orders?"
or "K, thanks boss, but Im busy" come to mind

fuk this fool srsly "Make yourself free"????? Go fuk yourself man...

Of course the smartest thing to do is let it slip, but fuk man, hes busting your balls, tell him to go to hell.

 

[Krueg]

Well. its VOLUNTARY!? Unless he was a A$$hole about it, I'm sure he was just trying to drop a hint he may want you to be there. If you got plans, tell him sorry.

 

[cola]

Something about you gives off a
"weak" vibe. Body language, scrawny body, high pitched voice, shifty eyes.. you need to find the root cause that makes any guy think he can say anything he wants to you without consequences.

 

[RangerMIke]

Just look him straight in the eyes with a serious expression on your face when you notice he gets uncomfortable or looks away smile and say "Thanks for the advice." Then do what you want to do.

 

[MountainSlide]

First of all the book "the 48 laws of power" is a piece of ****, although there are a couple of manipulation techniques from the book that I have successfully employed on people to my advantage.. I agree with Cola that maybe your putting out a beta vibe. But another perspective is this: maybe the guy isn't an alpha at all and maybe he is just a little neurotic beta surfing the web trying to figure out how to talk like an alpha.

But if i perceived someone to be weak, I would talk in the same way and watch how they respond. It is the bro version of a **** test. The fact that you are even worrying bout this **** is the problem, he probably doesn't even mean **** by it. My philosophy in life is to be a nice guy but don't take **** from no one, and i wouldn't classify this as ****, hence phuck it.

Robert Greene is an over-analyzing little ***** and reading and believing in those books will turn you into a beta.

 

[stevo]

Haha now you definitely should not go to the meeting.

How do you deal with guys who act alpha?

You either separate your path from theirs or you bump heads with them and not back down.

You are your own man, you shouldn't do anything you don't want to do.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Go to the meeting, why not. Go if you want to, not because he's telling you to. But as the others say, you shouldn't really be paying attention to what other people tell you to do, outside of your workplace.

This meeting sounds like a bit of a waste of time though. I can't stand gossip and all that. I don't associate myself with people like that. Ask yourself if there's something else that you could be doing that would benefit you or others more than hosting a few tourists. There are other more worthy causes out there for you to volunteer your time to.