Advice To Chancer357

[Slash]

I feel Like Putting a Gun To your Head and asking you...'what do you wanna Be? ' Like Tyler does In 'Fight Club' the movie..

Lemme Pace your reality a Little bit...

You dont have a purpose on this planet.. youre just living breathing eating ****ting and Jacking off like an expert, no body cares about your existence.. because you dont contribute to anything... Its like a line of code in a software program that doesnt deliver anything.. what do you do with the useless line ??? what do you do with it??? yep delete it.. you might as well kill yourself... if thats what you wanna do but that wont change anything... will it?? I can help you if you wanna be helped and if you can put some ****ing effort... Like Morpheus says in The Matrix... 'I can Only Show You the Door... You are the one who has to walk through it.'

There is no magic Pill that you can take and the next morning you wake up like Brad F++king Pitt...Yes Its gonna take time you have lived till 27.. a few months of effort wouldnt hurt would it... ??A few months that will change your life because you havnt even lived a third of it heck maybe even a fourth of it...

If youre ready.. Reply to this post with zero negativity... or the deal is Off..

 

[cave dweller]

chancer

Hey,

We can only give you 'tools' here.

It is up to you to get off of your @ss and build a life.

If you want to 'lay up there' and be a 'fvcking nothing and a nobody' the rest of your life...Well, so be it...

Hey, life is too short for all of the crap that you dish out.

BTW, slip on down to Georgia, one of these weekends, and I will get you shot of pvssy. (I have a harem)

)


cave dweller

 

[chancer357]

I don't understand how to use the 'tools'. They are basically things like, "Be comfortable with yourself." "Be confident." "Don't be shy.".

That's the problem.

 

[Marcopolo]

But that is what is great about this site-people give you the specific tools on how to attract women, much more than just "be confident" or what ever. Most dating sites will give you that kind of useless drivel and nothing more. Of course you need the specific skills, adndif you read the DJ Bible and some of the articles you will learn a lot about the specifics, and you just need to apply them and see what works for you and what doesn't.

Another suggestion-are you too shy to go pick up women in public or in pickup joints? Start out with the internet. I personally think it is a good way to GET STARTED because you feel safer behind the computer. You will build your confidence once you see that there are women out there who will at least talk to you online. As far as self improvement, I suggest taking a martial art. this will also do wonders for your self-confidence, trust me. I remember my instructor once telling me that the most difficult thing about learning a martial art is walking through that door for the the first time. This is what you have to do not only for martial arts training but for your life, you have to walk through that front door!

Along those lines, I would also try to explore your life more and find out if you have any hidden talents. You may be a great musician or artist and not even realize it! Being good at something is also a great self-esteem booster. Go take dancing lessons, another non threatening way to learn to interact with chicks, you are developing a skill, and chicks didg guys how can danc or at least get out there and try, chicks will admire you for trying as much as your actual skill as a beginner. bottom line-just get out there and live your life, it can be fun, and chicks will start coming out of the woodwork before you know it!

 

[Marcopolo]

But that is what is great about this site-people give you the specific tools on how to attract women, much more than just "be confident" or what ever. Most dating sites will give you that kind of useless drivel and nothing more. Of course you need the specific skills, adndif you read the DJ Bible and some of the articles you will learn a lot about the specifics, and you just need to apply them and see what works for you and what doesn't.

Another suggestion-are you too shy to go pick up women in public or in pickup joints? Start out with the internet. I personally think it is a good way to GET STARTED because you feel safer behind the computer. You will build your confidence once you see that there are women out there who will at least talk to you online. As far as self improvement, I suggest taking a martial art. this will also do wonders for your self-confidence, trust me. I remember my instructor once telling me that the most difficult thing about learning a martial art is walking through that door for the the first time. This is what you have to do not only for martial arts training but for your life, you have to walk through that front door!

Along those lines, I would also try to explore your life more and find out if you have any hidden talents. You may be a great musician or artist and not even realize it! Being good at something is also a great self-esteem booster. Go take dancing lessons, another non threatening way to learn to interact with chicks, you are developing a skill, and chicks did guys who can dance or at least get out there and try, chicks will admire you for trying as much as your actual skill as a beginner. Bottom line-just get out there and live your life, it can be fun, and chicks will start coming out of the woodwork before you know it!

 

[chancer357]

I've tried dating web sites before but that did not work either.

Maybe trying new things would work - but then again it never has. I'm not intreseted in trying and failing again. I've failed so much that I can't tolerate anymore of it. To me saying maybe it will work is like saying maybe gravity will be reversed tommorow.

You can't succeed if you can't try. And I can't try anymore. I just won't do it. I can't make myself do it. That other guy said he wanted to put a gun to my head. I still wouldn't do it. I couldn't fathom an amount of money that would make me try. I would rather let that guy pull the trigger.

 

[david90]

Here is my question.

Right now i'm guessing u have nothing. No social life no gf no nothing. What do you have to lose by trying?

What does an convict on death row have to lose when killing another inmate?

Ur the convict on death row. U have nothing to lose.

 

[ogre]

Chancer357:

200 of us have posted good advice to you but you would rather be miserable than fix your problems. So get off this board and go hang yourself. you are pathetic.

In 39 years I've had only 2 GF's and both of them were miserable, dysfunctional and depressed. (finding a girl more pathetic then myself was not easy) I'm old, ugly, short, skinny, pot-bellied, physically weak and baggie-eyed. I look like Ted Kaczynski except my head's too big and my legs are too short. I have chronic health problems that I have been dragging around since early childhood and emotional trauma, abuse and bottled-up rage to match. Men who go through what I've been through usually end up in the funny farm or in jail.

Now, at 40, for the first time I'm enjoying life, having fun, meeting girls, getting #'s and dating. at this age I have a lot of catching up to do and a lot of disadvantages. I will never be able to pick up chicks like the young DJ's. but I'm doing something, and something is a million times better than nothing. my choices are to either move forward or end up like you. I've been like you and it sucks. So if you're not gonna move forward than hang yourself before you hurt somebody else. You planning to share a cell with David Berkowitz? 'cuz that's where your headed.

 

[m4a1]

You're either willing to change, or you're not.

This site has literally saved people's lives and made men happier. One guy made a post dedicated to Pook about how he saved his life, literally.

You know about this site, you're lucky, it's up to you whether you actually want to change or not, YOU CAN'T, YOU DON'T WANT TO CHANGE, etc.... Get some meds, get your brain fixed, you're not thinking right, no!!

p.s. I'm starting to think this whole this is a hoax, you're not changing, not one bit! it's impossible, take this how ever you want, but even a chimp would have been affected by all this advice.

 

[ogre]

saki

you're right. Ted is a lot better looking then me. And he's tall too, chicks like tall. But that didn't stop him from being an AFC and look where he ended up.

Maybe I should compare myself to Gollum:
http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/6856.jpg

 

[chancer357]

I don't see why you think its a joke.

I don't understand why you think I'm not willing or don't want to change. If I was content the way I was I would never have had a reason to post anything at all. The whole problem is that I'm not happy the way things are but something blocks me from moving forward anf the more I try the more I fall back.

 

[m4a1]

The whole problem is that I'm not happy the way things are but something blocks me from moving forward anf the more I try the more I fall back.

I realize you say that quite a lot, but no one has ever asked you to give examples.

So, we recommended you take baby steps, see a therapist, talk to people, explain to us, how did you fail?

Did the therapist refuse to see you?
Did people completely ignore you that you didn't gain ANY skills or learn anything from the experience?
Did you join a gym and realize that after 11 months of working out 3 hours a day, that your body hasn't changed one bit?

I mean, c'mon! elaborate a little instead of just saying you try and fail, the more details you post the better advice you'll get for bettering yourself.

 

[chancer357]

Originally posted by m4a1
I realize you say that quite a lot, but no one has ever asked you to give examples.

Did the therapist refuse to see you?

I've only gone to one once, they basically just said that I was introverted. I was there for something else at the time. I've not been able to bring myself to go to another one. I am too embarrassed to try to explain anything to them. I'd also have to talk to some secretary.
Just *asking* for help is a huge obstacle for me.

Originally posted by m4a1

Did you join a gym and realize that after 11 months of working out 3 hours a day, that your body hasn't changed one bit?

Basically. I have an eating disorder so ultimately going to the gym just frustrates me even more. I can't eat right, so I end up just draining what little energy I have. I can't eat 3 meals a day normally, I *hate* the feeling of food in my stomach, it makes me sick. I know its bizzare; but that is what anorexia will do.
Incidentally, this is what I had gone to a therapist before - but it didn't help.

Originally posted by m4a1
Did people completely ignore you that you didn't gain ANY skills or learn anything from the experience?

The only time people ever really would talk to me throughout childhood was to make fun of me. Later, in highschool, that continued. I once just asked people to hang out and they literally laughed in my face. I never got to go away to collage, I commuted and never really knew anyone on the campus.

I've taught people and whole classes, students and profressionals, but thats it. When it comes to anything where I'm not teaching someone something I have nothing to talk about. If I go to a place (like a bar) with a lot of people laughing, having fun joking around, I have nothing to say and will just not talk and try to smile. I'm not comfortable *at all* just being around people in that situation. That ends up getting me left out because I can't really participate so even when I've tried to just be there things gravitate away from me.

I've never had a real opportunity to gain any skills. I can't really participate in anything involving people because I just can't even relate on a basic level. I only do solitary stuff and its not interesting to most people because and its not stuff that people do for fun so it doesnt help make any conversation.

 

[DarkSideOfTheMind]

Hey, I know things look bleak, and at times they do.

It's like in that movie "The Replacements" when Keanu Reeves talks about quicksand...First one thing goes wrong, then another, then another...so you struggle hader...but you just sink faster...quicksand.

I was there....I lost everything, and I literally almost lost my life. Whatever I did just seemed to give the wrong result. Whatever I did. I just decided what else can I do but try again. What you have to ask yourself is this..."Are you willing to go without a fight?"

***t, who cares if it doen't work, at least the battle gives you a reason to get up and try again. Doing nothing doesn't give you that.

I know for myself it took a long, let me stess LONG, time to get it back, what I wanted. I failed miserably and repeatedly....but then there was a victory...a little later on there was another one, then another, then another..now the game is on and I dominate my environment.

Hey, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

 

[Jon E]

Chancer,

Start out small. You need to get some social skills before you ever even think about approaching women. In fact, dont even think about women right now. Go buy the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" start out by saying hi to your mailman, say goodmorning to the toothless old hag at the gas station, smile and hold a door open for a little old lady. Do anything that will get you started interacting with people.

Dont worry about not knowing what to say in a conversation, just nodd, smile and agree with them. Its all in the book and its only like $6 and if you dont have that, send me your address and Ill mail you a copy for free.

 

[chancer357]

Originally posted by saki
If your gonna sit here and say the same shiit over and over, like "i just cant" for example, than get tha fvck out!

I told you I dont expect any help. People dont understand when I say I can't because they have never felt this way or been in my position. I've got nothing to do and I'm just answering when people direct a question at me.

All this "help" you say people give me is not helping me. I *CANT* do those things. Thats as best as I can explain it. I can sit and try to force myself but I will not budge. Thats as best as I can explain it. Its no different than you telling a blind person to just look or a deaf person to just listen.

 

[Golden Arms]

what did you do all day today, chancer ?

how about yesterday ?

 

[Skweints]

Wow... are you just... analysing too deep? Are you expecting a pity party to make you feel better? Are you waiting for some mysical woman to magically appear and take your pain away? IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

Seriously, why do you waste time on this board? You've obviously spent tons of time, and have gotten no results.

You know, there once was a time when I was in high school... and I was the laughing stock for the whole 9th and 10th grade. Then I moved and went another high school... it wasn't so bad because I didn't know anybody, so nobody thought anything bad about me. I wouldn't give them a reason. But I met a friend, a friend who's sense of humor inspired me to become more free spirited. Had he not been there, I'd probably be in your shoes. But I see so clearly what my problem is. You sit there like a bum, complaining about everything and anything. This upsets you, that upsets you. GROW UP MAN!

Anorexia? Why would you mention that? Don't you have a LITTLE BIT of self-respect? Come on, you're just FEEDING everybody info that they can just use against you.

I know, I know... You don't understand... you don't understand how anybody could use such mean words. How anybody could be so straight up and to the point with you. You don't understand why someone can't just understand. Here's why... No WANTS to understand. You're absolutely miserable. Misery loves company right? Happiness is contagious, right? If you're around someone who makes you absolutely miserable, you're gonna be absolutely miserable yourself. Now, do you think someone who's happy wants to put up with someone who's miserable? FVCK NO! It's a COMPLETE waste of time!

Here's an idea... go out there... sit at the bar, and order yourself a drink. Get fvcked up, even, if you want. Think you're the absolute ****, and that nobody is worth your time. Act like you're pretending to be interested in what other people say, if it's not interesting. If it is, KEEP UP THE CONVERSATION. Make THEM feel at home. If you DO make interesting conversation with someone, keep what you say short, and focus on them. Don't blurb on and on about your opinion. Everybody's favorite topic of conversation is themselves. Even if it doesn't directly deal with them, if it's just their opinion, listen intently. If you disagree, disagree with them, and let them know why. But keep it short. Watch everybody act around you. Listen to how this guy makes this chick laugh. Listen to the conversation between two guys, see what makes it so interesting between them. Don't stare at 'em like a kid starting at a bug with a magnifying glass. Just look at your drink, look around. Sit with your back straight, your shoulders tilted back, like you're totally comfortable in the situation. Don't talk to anybody if you don't want to. Enjoy the taste of whatever drink it is you're drinking. Go buy one of Pablo Fransisco's stand up DVD's... watch it. (He's gotta be one of the funniest mother ****ers I've seen in a long time.) Take notes. Watch it again if it wasn't funny the first time. Watch it again if it wasn't funny the second time. Repeat and repeat till you have a heart attack from laughter.

You don't have to be a PART of the field in order to learn. You can be totally secluded in your own little world, and just watch what goes on around you, and you'd be amazed at what you can learn.

Quit sitting around and waiting for the world to come to you. It's out there for you, you gotta discover it on your own accord. If you feel too intimidated, call up your dad, tell him to teach you where your nuts are, and ask why yours are missing.

'nuff said.

 

[chancer357]

Nothing really. I packed up stuff & moved back into my parents house.

 

[DjDreamer]

Hey chancer, it's time for you to face reality...you aren't perfect...but guess what? A whole heap of people also aren't perfect but practise makes perfect...

How will you ever succeed at something if you don't try? We are not talking about diffusing a bomb here, we are talking about having nice conversations with some hot women...what's the worse thing that could happen? She being disinteresting with your imperfect self? LoL...chancer you ought to stop all the self pity and strive for pefection...