"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Advice sought.

diablo

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This situation isn't important to me anymore, but I would like to use it as a learning experience. It's a bit convoluted, so bear with me.

My friend, a true DJ, met this girl at a club, had her take him to her house, and proceeded to sex the night away. I wasn't out with him that night, so I never knew any of the details as to who it was.

A few weeks ago, me and him are having margarita's at On The Border, and he gets a playful tap on the shoulder by a waitress. Cute, with a nice body and pretty face. I later ask about her, and he told me the story about the club. The next night, we're at a different club and I'm pissed drunk, as is everyone else. At closing time, I run into her and get her number. I call a few times, never quite making a close.

I call again, and she tells me why she never showed much interest. She thought that I was gay. I've never been more shocked than when I heard that - I of course asked why she would have thought this, and she said it was from my demeanor. I care about my appearance, and don't waste any money buying anything that I think would improve it... of course, nothing like makeup... but hair gels, the current style in A&F clothing (then again, with a 40% discount, why not), and tooth whitener thingies... I shave my arms, but this was started back when I used to wrestle (state champ '02).

She apparently gets the picture, so I go over and visit for a while. Then later that night, I go back over to her place and she and I go out to a different club with a few of her friends (she rode with me, after I picked her up from her apartment). After the club, we went back to her place and messed around a bit. I'd actually put it in and started my thing when she said "stop, we shouldn't be doing this". Yada yada. No means no, so I stopped - not without thinking bitter thoughts... blue balls to an extreme.

We talked every day or two, going out a few times, then things just tapered off. On one of the last times we were lounging around, she said "I know you couldn't be gay, you're way too horny for that"... Anyone have any clue as to what I did wrong, could have done differently, or didn't do at all?


I think that I perhaps didn't do the whole "action-date", instead taking her to the cliche things like dinner and a movie. Not to mention, I showed my attraction far too much by initiating every date and calling once a day, though she did her fair share too. Obviously, this all happened before I happened across this website. Now that I've got it to learn from, AFC mistakes such as these shouldn't happen so often anymore.


Opinions?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DJ_Dork

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don't get worked up on "closing deals" or "making impressions" - if a girl doesn't like how you look/personality - SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. yeah but you kinda messed up with the daily calls - if you still want to have a chance with her.. stop calling her completely.
 

diablo

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I don't think that there's much chance of salvaging anything... she liked me, from what I can tell, or we wouldn't have gone out 5 or 6 times, nor would she have given me head or any other 'favors'. It's been about 2 weeks since I've called her, she hasn't called back. I've had fun since, I'd hope she has as well. :p
 

WestCoaster

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Too much information

Here's an idea, cut back on the info. I don't want to read one more thread on this board about a guy "putting it in."

Let's see, you got wasted (low class) and are talking on a popular website about "putting it in."

How about learning the art of subtlty [B ] ishop.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

diablo

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My apologies, West. I had no idea that drinking was low-class. Had I but known your high-class standards, you being such the jet-setter and all, I would have changed that around to "snorting coke" or "taking pills". I suppose these activities show more education and skill? Perhaps because they cost more to engage in?

Pray tell, what exactly is it which you do on your weekends? I suppose you don't drink, by any chance?

As for "putting it in", that was literally all that happened before I was stopped. Since it wasn't having sex, unless you want to delve into technicalities, I stated just what it was. Subtle enough for you?
 

WestCoaster

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Like I said, we don't need the details

Well, on weekends I don't drink like a fish, as a matter of fact I don't drink every weekend. You must be a weak man to have to do that. I'm not a prude but I do think if you're saucing it up every weekend you're in for a long, pathetic life.

As for putting it in, spare us the details. No one wants a play by play on your sex life.

Yeah, I do have standards, that's why I'm on this site. If you haven't noticed the posts about the downfall of the American male I suggest reading it. Being warped by society -- which it sounds like you are -- is the origin of this downfall.

Have some class. You haven't posted around here long enough to be popping off.
 

diablo

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Re: Like I said, we don't need the details

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Well, on weekends I don't drink like a fish, as a matter of fact I don't drink every weekend. You must be a weak man to have to do that. I'm not a prude but I do think if you're saucing it up every weekend you're in for a long, pathetic life.

As for putting it in, spare us the details. No one wants a play by play on your sex life.

Yeah, I do have standards, that's why I'm on this site. If you haven't noticed the posts about the downfall of the American male I suggest reading it. Being warped by society -- which it sounds like you are -- is the origin of this downfall.

Have some class. You haven't posted around here long enough to be popping off.
Had I but known that play by play details weren't wanted, I wouldn't have posted. I merely wanted to actually contribute to the site in some way. As for the downfall of the male species, I think a lot might be learned by me. I'm not falling anywhere. My pictures (of girls and of myself) will prove that. As for not posting enough to pop off, I don't believe that you have to have a set post limit before you can speak your mind. Do you?
 
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