Advice Pls

[9Volt]

Your follow up message is simple:

"What would you like to know about me?"

She wants more rapport. You have to prime your target before you can make the sale. It wasn't low interest, it was not enough comfort.

So in other words you're advocating "proving yourself worthy" to a random stranger online who you don't know from a can of paint based off how they looked in their pictures and what they wrote in their profile (if that).

you could be wasting time typing, waiting for a reply, waiting for a number, meet when you are both on a site thats supposed to be intended for actual meet ups.

while they are being bombarded by other dudes, answering, deleting, busy with other crap in life etc.

while she responds and tells you one thing and you spend time trying to build rapport over text on the net where anything can get misconstrued the next best or hotter dude comes in her inbox. says a few words, and she sends her number in a reply.

then they've moved to the phone while you type, and do the same nonsense with the next.

it's either sh1t or get off the pot. rapport over the phone>>>rapport online.

I don't text people I know all day. quick, then a call to go out. not texting till we feel "comfy" speaking. same with random places you call, work etc. you pick up the phone.

no excuses.

 

[9Volt]

Online dating is best when it's kept to just a few messages. There is nothing she can gain from getting to you know online that would trump a real life date. Most of the time, a woman is screening for employment, car, house (basically having your shyt together) and commonalities (so that you guys can do something together), and what you are looking for (FWB, relationship, friends). After that, there is only one thing left to do: Go on an actual freakin date.

In my experience, anything beyond finding out practical information about you is mental masturbation on her part. She thinks she can control her fate and find perfect chemistry online without ever having met you. It's her own delusion.

Online dating simply gives women more power to mentally masturbate. So you have to be as practical as possible. Every text you send her should be about finding qualities I listed in my first paragraph. Beyond that, there is NOTHING ELSE to talk about with a woman you've never met before. Unless you want to be used for validation.

Nuff said. /thread.

 

[fastlife]

OK, so there's a faction of guys who are telling you, 'Don't be a nerd, bro. Jump into her frame. Women need to feel comfortable. Quality girls--I.e. ones who require more investment (from you) since you put them on a pedestal & run less tight game--need to feel comfortable. Just take her at face value.'

Well...I'll play it to you straight: This is a sh1t test. 100 of guys jump thru this hoop for her every week for however many qualifications & texts to nowhere--giving her ample validation, which is a higher currency than sex in female land. In fact, give her that validation & she'll never meet up with you since she'll only stand to lose validation.

Here's how I'd play it: "So spontaneous. Sounds like you live a life of high adventure."

If she doesn't qualify, you never stood a chance (and you might not--OLD is a total crapshoot). But she might.

 

[Floydispink01]

'That's a shame. I was going to take you out to play a game. You seem like the type. Nevermind'.

 

[dustmuffin]

OK, so there's a faction of guys who are telling you, 'Don't be a nerd, bro. Jump into her frame. Women need to feel comfortable. Quality girls--I.e. ones who require more investment (from you) since you put them on a pedestal & run less tight game--need to feel comfortable. Just take her at face value.'

Well...I'll play it to you straight: This is a sh1t test. 100 of guys jump thru this hoop for her every week for however many qualifications & texts to nowhere--giving her ample validation, which is a higher currency than sex in female land. In fact, give her that validation & she'll never meet up with you since she'll only stand to lose validation.

Here's how I'd play it: "So spontaneous. Sounds like you live a life of high adventure."

If she doesn't qualify, you never stood a chance (and you might not--OLD is a total crapshoot). But she might.

I agree with this...you just have to jump through a few more hoops and I might go out with you. I have done the messaging thing and mostly it is a waste of time. Same with texting. More texting/messaging dosent work.

 

[EyeBRollin]

So in other words you're advocating "proving yourself worthy" to a random stranger online who you don't know from a can of paint based off how they looked in their pictures and what they wrote in their profile (if that).

you could be wasting time typing, waiting for a reply, waiting for a number, meet when you are both on a site thats supposed to be intended for actual meet ups.

while they are being bombarded by other dudes, answering, deleting, busy with other crap in life etc.

while she responds and tells you one thing and you spend time trying to build rapport over text on the net where anything can get misconstrued the next best or hotter dude comes in her inbox. says a few words, and she sends her number in a reply.

then they've moved to the phone while you type, and do the same nonsense with the next.

it's either sh1t or get off the pot. rapport over the phone>>>rapport online.

I don't text people I know all day. quick, then a call to go out. not texting till we feel "comfy" speaking. same with random places you call, work etc. you pick up the phone.

no excuses.

No, this is basic sales. Your subject has some interest if she took the time to respond. A lot of women online either ignore your messages or just block. She's telling you exactly what she wants for this to proceed. I've done this with multiple women online that ended up meeting me after this initial reservation and two 10-15 minute phone conversations. Some chicks are just weary of meeting a random dude off the internet.

Frame is not at play here. Your number one objective in online dating is to meet the woman in person so you can sell. Do what you must (within reason) to facilitate the meet up.

 

[9Volt]

No, this is basic sales. Your subject has some interest if she took the time to respond. A lot of women online either ignore your messages or just block. She's telling you exactly what she wants for this to proceed. I've done this with multiple women online that ended up meeting me after this initial reservation and two 10-15 minute phone conversations. Some chicks are just weary of meeting a random dude off the internet.

Frame is not at play here. Your number one objective in online dating is to meet the woman in person so you can sell. Do what you must (within reason) to facilitate the meet up.

I'm not saying to not bother screening at all. I'm saying I'm not wasting my time playing pen pals till she decides she's "comfortable". You call it "sales" I call it pandering to strangers. I'm not going to try to sell myself to some chick I don't know from a can of paint when the same chick will see the next hottest stud and reply with her number without him "selling" himself to her but her thinking he's hot. We can talk on the phone and decide if we're going to meet or not. Just like chicks may decide they don't want to meet. I decide too to not bother wanting to meet because like it or not I don't rely specifically on OLD let alone some random strangers "approval".

I treated OLD like I treat ad pop ups. Click, delete. OLD Send, no reply? Delete. The chicks who are willing to at least talk on the phone are the ones more likely to take things to the next step. I wasn't meeting anyone simply based off conversations on the net. Talking and picture exchanges. No older pics, no hidden angles used online. Never had a problem doing it my way.

And the vast majority I didn't bother to meet. Too many issues. But that's a given for OLD virtual dive bar types of chicks. No matter how good some of them looked. The few I met? Train wrecks.

Anyone I met IRL who never used OLD and had no reason too? Wound up in LTR's and were much better quality overall. OLD isn't the end all be all for some of us since meeting chicks IRL isn't an issue. OLD to me? Was simply downtime passing entertainment. No joke.

 

[icantgetlaid]

Set your profile up in a way that makes it pretty clear who you are/what you are about. That way, when a girl responds to your greeting, you can immediately request the number/set up the date, and LOL/next if she requests "chat here to get comfy first".

 

[9Volt]

Set your profile up in a way that makes it pretty clear who you are/what you are about. That way, when a girl responds to your greeting, you can immediately request the number/set up the date, and LOL/next if she requests "chat here to get comfy first".

I find it hilarious that the same chicks who are worried about the "losers, creepers, stalkers, psychos, bums, married, taken, liars, fakes etc" online and need to get "comfy" texting through an OLD app especially if they are so-called "quality" would even bother to spend months if not years residing in the same virtual dive bar while trying to use their provocative pics to lure the same men they don't trust to write them in the first place. Speaks volumes about the types of chicks that need to use OLD when their "quality" should have them having no problem meeting better men for them IRL elsewhere.

Yes a chick must really have a head on her shoulders if she is a resident for months and or years on a site where in their own words all the "losers, creepers, stalkers, psychos, bums, married, taken, liars, fakes etc" flock to while trying to meet her "prince". LOL just LOL.

This is only one reason to never take OLD to heart let alone seriously. No matter if every chick replies or none reply.