"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Advice please

mpimpin

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Guys I need some advice. I asked this girl out that has a boyfriend. He is three years younger then her and a total Afc. He watched her and I together for about an hour the other night. He just sat in her car watching us. So anyways I use some ****y funny and she begans saying we should hang out sometime. So I told her that there might be an opening in my schedule Thursday night and that I was planning on going to a local coffee shop if she wanted to come to. She said she'd have to think about it. So i busted her for that with some ****y funny about having to babysit her younger boyfriend that night etc. Well I hang up with her and a bit later I get a message on myspace from her saying she isn't sure what is going on with her and her boyfriend and that she'll tell me soon whether or not she is going Thursday. Then she asks about me and this girl (my female wingman) she saw me with last week. ........ How should I respond to this? I need to keep up the ****y funny. I don't wanna appear to afc'ish. I was thinking about putting a time limit on her response. Saying her window of oppurtunity closes wednesday, and there might not be another opening in my schedule for awhile. But even if i do that im not sure how to respond about my female friend. Should I say she is just a friend? Seems a bit weak to me
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Michele l'Arcangelo

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yeah it sounds weak to me too.

i don't know, it's tricky to me... but if shes your wingwoman... you could ask her about this also... so she won't feel 'betrayed' if you say something like: "oh... she's just some girl who likes my company".... etc.

like I said... i don't know. but i'd like to know what other people's opinion is on what i said... and what they think of your situation also.
 

mpimpin

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as would I man. Come on DJ's I know you got some thoughts on this. Im gonna respond to her message within the next few hours so give me some of that DJ advice.
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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sorry to disappoint you with MY reply... but if no one does... just try

ummm

"she's one one of my buddies, actually she's been helping me lately by *pretending* to be my girlfriend so i dont have to beat all of these chicks away with a stick.... but there's this *ONE* persistant girl..." <then obviously stare at her like shes the persistant one>

dunno dude. sound okay?
 

Krang!

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Just tell her that she is a friend and avoid the subject ;) That will keep her guessing wich is always good!

I wouldnt do the window of oppurtunity thing you are talking about, at best its only weird but also it smells a little desperation to me. Youre going to this place and if she tags along: fine, if she doesnt: fine. You don't care remember? ;)
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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mpimpin

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Thanks guys. Krang I needed that reminder. And Mike I actually like that idea but im not sure it'll fit here. Would work in person but probably not as effective in an email. Unless I was to avoid it for right now... theres a thought. anyways thanks
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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ohhh an email. well why not just see the chick in person... and hangout with her until she asks you. then tell her. but do what you feel is right. k.
 

mpimpin

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I sent her a reply back but avoided the issue of my wingwoman. I also didn't say anything about her thinking about going out Thursday. Just said some more ****y funny stuff about her dating someone younger etc. Then made an inside joke about her and I having sex. ( she had already brought this up on the phone earlier :). I can play off the whole mystery thing better in person when/if she asks about my wingwoman again.
 
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