She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
My response would have been: Ok no problem. When you feel like getting together again let me know and I will see if I can get free.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
And then OP went with:
Instead of assauging her insecurity, OP amplified it. This is what led to her ghosting. The better move is to play pretenses, "This time only coffee. I will behave this time .... promise
" OP owns it, and releases her part. Then you go for drinks and back to your house. Appeal to their ego and eviscerate their insecurity.
I feel like puking when I read this story. She just wants to fvck, and you are too preoccupied by dragging both of you through an awkward and boring "date" ritual. Date one is where you messed up this relationship, which she has basically told you twice now.