Advice please - 3rd date cancel after sex on the 2nd

[Glassguy]

she says she's tired and she's not coming. WTF??

My response would have been: Ok no problem. When you feel like getting together again let me know and I will see if I can get free.


Thats it. You sent a novel instead and tried to sell yourself. Thats a try hard move.

Its either let me know when you're ready to bang later or if not we wont talk anymore.

Deuces.

 

[guru1000]

@stormrider hit the nail on the head.

When women reject you, they are really rejecting a certain part of themselves that they don't want ... which you brought out. Most often, you are dealing with their insecurity.

OP's girl felt shame; hence:

say that she's worried I'll think she's slutty because we had sex too soon,

And then OP went with:

Then I said " Make sure you wear something sexy"

Instead of assauging her insecurity, OP amplified it. This is what led to her ghosting. The better move is to play pretenses, "This time only coffee. I will behave this time .... promise" OP owns it, and releases her part. Then you go for drinks and back to your house. Appeal to their ego and eviscerate their insecurity.

Being aware of the underlying is 100% of the game.

 

[Bible_Belt]

So I met a woman on bumble. chatted for a bit etc.

1st Date - picked her up from her place, out for dinner (lots of touching), changed venue for desert (kissing), back to her place; we both played some songs on guitars and sang a bit then finished up with a solid makeout session on the couch, then I leave

I feel like puking when I read this story. She just wants to fvck, and you are too preoccupied by dragging both of you through an awkward and boring "date" ritual. Date one is where you messed up this relationship, which she has basically told you twice now.

I see this same mistake over and over again. To anyone who wants to avoid this misery, I suggest that you make up your mind about the answer to this question: do you want to fvck, or do you want to recruit a life partner? Those are two different things. I think the most common relationship problems involve being confused or not on the same page about the answer to that question. OP's girl had "fvck me" written on her forehead on date 1, and he then proceeds to reenact a romantic comedy script. No wonder she is confused.