"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Advice on setting up the first date

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sidewind3r

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I got this girls phone number after talking to her for about 15 minutes in a club last wednesday and I decided that I would call her up tonight. I have been with a girl for over a year and we broke up a month ago so i feel a little out of touch.

this girl here seems like the fun loving type, not too serious, not really ltr material from what i can tell. Where should I bring her on the first date? Should i just invite her for a coffee or for supper or something? Also, should i pay for her or is that too chump?

Finally, my last concern is that i do not have a car (not for another 4 or 5 months) so unfortunately ill be taking the bus. Will this be a major problem?

Thanks in advance for the help
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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tsmith2334

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here's what i would do, right or wrong...

i would just go ahead and call her. if you want to hang out with her that night, i'd call her mid-afternoon, like around 1 or 2. if its for lunch, call her around 5 and ask her if she's interested in getting lunch the next day. i'd rather go for dinner though, i feel like that has more romantic implementations to it, and lunch is more of a friendly thing.

i would also pay for it, since your making the invitation. just do it matter of factly, don't make a big deal of it. if she reluctantly accepts, she's interested.

as for the car situation, does she drive? you could ask her to pick you up or take the bus and meet her there. it might diminish your social value a little bit, but you can rebound pretty easily.
 
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sidewind3r

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Thanks for the reply. So do the other guys out there feel that i should pay for the date?

I agree that the car thing is a setback but ill just have to make up for it with something else.
 
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tsmith2334

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tsmith2334 said:
here's what i would do, right or wrong...

i would just go ahead and call her. if you want to hang out with her that night, i'd call her mid-afternoon, like around 1 or 2. if its for lunch, call her around 5 and ask her if she's interested in getting lunch the next day. i'd rather go for dinner though, i feel like that has more romantic implementations to it, and lunch is more of a friendly thing.

i would also pay for it, since your making the invitation. just do it matter of factly, don't make a big deal of it. if she reluctantly accepts, she's interested.

as for the car situation, does she drive? you could ask her to pick you up or take the bus and meet her there. it might diminish your social value a little bit, but you can rebound pretty easily.
Click to expand...
what does everyone think of my advice? i'd like to know for my sake too

as for paying for the girl... if you ask her out for something to eat and its your first time going out then i would definately pay for it.

i wouldnt be like, hey i'm paying for you, i'd just take the bill when it comes. if she offers you cash, tell her "your moneys no good here". i used that line on a date over the summer and she said "i hate you" playfully :yes:

reluctant acceptence means she's interested
if she insists on paying, she doesnt want things to escalate (see how it works?)

heres a few reasons i'd pay, especially on a first date

a) it sets a great first impression
b) it establishes dominance
c) its polite
d) it shows your probably well off financially and not worried about money
 
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“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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sidewind3r

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I guess we will never know tsmith, but the call went well and i got a date for Thursday.
 
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Obsidian

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If she's the fun-loving type and you recognize that you have no hope (or maybe no desire) to make her your girlfriend, then no, don't take her out for coffee.

Take her to a bar. And then when you've been there for a while, move on to a different one, preferably one with a dance floor. Then possibly bring her home afterwards and have your way with her.

edit: Oh, dang, I missed the bus part. Umm, not sure what to suggest. Maybe just skip the bar part and invite her over to your place for food, drinks, and a movie -- unless she says she's willing to drive y'all somewhere. But remember that girls get drunk easier than guys.
 
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sidewind3r

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thx for the reply,
nah i don't reall yhave the desire to make her my girlfriend, I just want to play the field and live life like i did before having my girlfriend.

I had set a date for thursday at 5 when shed get off from work (sinc eher home is far but her workplace is halfway), but only realized after that i have an exam at 5:30 (i never go to that class, only to the exams).

so no wi have to call and get her to reschedule which will make me feel like a dufas.. doh!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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sidewind3r

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so i called her back to change the plans but she had los tinterest. Damn, just goes to show how important it is to have something solid planned from the first time you call and to not give the girl a chance to changer her mind afterwards. I must improve.
 
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