Advice on a convo

[killacam757]

I've been kicking it with one of my plates more than others lately. We've had sex numerous times and we both seem to just be going with the flow. I decided to ask her if she wanted to be more than friends to see where her head is at. The convo was similar this:
Me: just so we are on the same page, are you wanting to be more than friends with me?
Her: Haha way to be blunt. I'm not hanging out with anybody else the way we are hangin out if you know what I mean. I'm all about just goin with the flow an seein what happens


Is she with me until she finds better or do you believe she is honestly giving it a shot?
I could sit here all day and tell you how genuine our convos are and how she is a down to earth chick. But that would just be my feelings talking. Perhaps not logic.

 

[Neon Owl]

She sounds like the shy type who doesn't have the balls to come out and tell you what she really feels/wants. The way she says 'hanging out' instead of 'having sex' tells me she is afraid to be direct with you.
If I were you however, I wouldn't bring up the whole gf/bf thing again just assume you are an item if that's what you want. It's a bad idea to be the person to push for the relationship to move forward and definitely don't tell her you love her (even if you do at some point down the line) unless she says it first.

 

[killacam757]

Neonowl you hit the nail on the head. You could say we act like an item but am I wrong for just making sure we were on the same page?

 

[dvjackson]

What exactly do you want? Are you really certain yet that she's special enough that you want to commit and go exclusive with her? It sounds like the two of you are having a good time the way it is. Saying that she's "with you until she finds someone better" is putting it pretty negatively, sounds like she just isn't sure she wants to commit yet.

 

[Neon Owl]

Neonowl you hit the nail on the head. You could say we act like an item but am I wrong for just making sure we were on the same page?

No mate I don't think you're in the wrong for wanting to know if you're exclusive or not but you have to understand if you keep asking questions like this you may come off as needy or the sort of person that becomes attached too soon.

Seems she's playing it cool by not showing her cards so you should do the same until she's ready to be honest about how important you are in her life. Then you can simply follow suit.

You could always drop little hints like saying how she's 'your girl' etc. in a flirty way so she gets the idea. That way you won't have to do the whole 'do you want to be my gf' conversation which is totally unnecessary and can work against you.

 

[killacam757]

I'm not saying I wouldn't commit but I'm in no rush. I like to consider all possibilities of a situation. I guess i was just looking for an outside opinion, I just need to trust my gut more.

This is the first time that I asked her something like that. I'm not needy by any means and ill take your advice by not showing all my cards.
Thanks guys!!!

 

[Rainman4707]

Never ask to be exclusive first. Let her do that. Play it cool.