advice needed on eyecontact

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When i first found this site I started to force eye contact with everyone on the street. At first i must have been a total creep :D but soon i found out that almost all people cannot hold eyecontact and tend to look right away when they have caught your glance.

I always used to look children with love strait in the eyes... and they always smiled back at me (there could be a lesson in disguise in this but i havent discovered it yet)

About half a year ago I noticed that I was no longer forcing eyecontact...it had all become natural for me. It became just a process I do constantly without thinking, such as walking to school

With growth I realized that by eyecontact you start to claim your territory on the street and look all the other males strait in the eye. It is a process I cannot control and it just happens...and 99% of them look strait away.

another realization was that I was avoiding too young girls and ugly ones on purpose. Like I am afraid of them getting the wrong message and trying to pick me up...

yet another one was that it still feels strange to lock eye contact with a woman from distance when she is walking towards you.
YOu catch her gaze..she looks away..then back at you..away again.
I dont know but it just seems creepy staring at her like this.

And with the absolutely gorgeus ones...when one of them tends to hold prolonged eye contact with me till she has passed me by on the street I sometimes get so selfconcious. I start to look where I step, looking that i wouldnt take too long or short steps etc...
I wonder if I can grow enough to completely shut these states off.

Anyone who feels he has been there or can share some advice is welcomed.
 
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DavenJuan

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To add to this..... I dont know what to get from eye contact eye get sometimes.

i find it hard to hold eye contact sometimes but the few times i do with woment attractive and not so attractive they NEVER LOOK AWAY. i mean we lock eyes during the entire conversation we are having. but thats it. i can feel something when this happens inside ( spiritually) ..but i dont know what to take from it.

are some of these women interested in me. or do they think its perfectly normal to hold eye contact for that lenght of time. because to me its more than just mere conversation. ???
 

Nexus Polaris

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I've come to accept that doing anything new until you get good at it, you're going to come across as awkward and creepy. The key is just to laugh at it when you crash and burn and shrug it off and try to do better the next time around.

Eye contact can be dangerous when you first learn it. If you're used to looking away and try to focus on strong eye contact with everybody, you have the potential to send the wrong message with too strong of eye contact. Such things when done with larger, more dominant males can be taken as a sign of confrontation and will often result in you either getting your ass kicked or having to talk your way out of it.

It takes awhile to learn to convey confident yet friendly eye contact.
 
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i belive eyes are the most powerful weapons if you learn to use them correctly... more advice needed about my question above please
 

BLebowski

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just another newb?? said:
And with the absolutely gorgeus ones...when one of them tends to hold prolonged eye contact with me till she has passed me by on the street I sometimes get so selfconcious. I start to look where I step, looking that i wouldnt take too long or short steps etc...
I wonder if I can grow enough to completely shut these states off.

Anyone who feels he has been there or can share some advice is welcomed.
I think it would be very hard to control the selfconciousness after heavy EC with a girl you fancy. You probably can tone down the amount a bit, but a lot of the behaviors after such an event happen unsubconsciously. Your watching your step for example could be a part of 'grooming', looking your best to heighten interest. Other people rearrange their coat, smooth their hair etc.

But maybe some people here have succeeded in keeping this under control.

And yea, forceful yet friendly eye contact makes a world of difference but it does take a while to get right.
 
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potato

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I make eye contact with everyone or at least try. I agree with the OP the whole thing about most people not making eye contact.

From my point of view eye contact is one of the most important aspects of getting and keeping a woman. To me that is what flirting is. When I flirt with women, even ones that I’m just passing on the street, standing next to in line, anywhere really, it all revolves around eye contact. I’ve gotten to where I do it without thinking, as easy as walking.

You have to learn to control it with confidence. Try sitting in front of a mirror and work on it. Typically, when I meet a woman, or really just see her, I keep looking at her eyes, waiting for her to look back. I’ve done this most my life so it’s easy for me, but you have to realize that the more you do it the more you can start to read a great deal into what the girl is thinking, or feeling, just by her eyes. When I’m with a woman, either just meeting her or any point in the relationship, by looking into her eyes I get instance feed back, I know if what I’m doing is working or not.

More importantly though is that quite often I can get a girl extremely interested just by establishing strong eye contact. It is almost as if it were a form of communication, a basic animalistic level of communication. With my current girlfriend, when we first met I saw her from across a very crowded room at a social gathering. I kept looking at her until she looked back. Once out eyes locked, it was like a tractor beam bringing us together.

Don’t just look but do something. Raise your eye brows a little, smile, make faces, turn or tilt you head a bit, but keep it all rather subtle, don’t go overboard. Gaze into her eyes and wonder. Turn away and look back at her. The idea is to make a game out of it, have fun. If the girl is unwilling she’ll look away or give you a ‘I’m not interested look’, but most will play along.

Here is an example of how eye contact is supreme over other types of gamming. I was once at this large party and there was this new girl, real cute, real friendly. It was like every guy there was working on getting her attention, including a couple of guys who fancied themselves as ladies men, pick-up artists par excellence. A few times though the night our eyes met, each time a little flirting, smiles on both our parts, but nothing more. I never talked to her that night and she eventually left with her friends, giving me the eye on her way out. I saw her again, about two weeks later at another party. Immediately she latched onto me.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Wolf said:
Eye contact with strangers on the street can make them feel awkward if you hold it, especially seeing as many people are worries about being mugged, sometimes eye contact can be very intimidating. BUT if you do it to a girl you are talking to it's fine, and you'll find they should not get so creeped out by it. As long as she is at least a little comfortable with you.
Bingo! Many guys don't understand the difference between a glance and a stare. They are as difference as an invitation and a boot to the head.

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