Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Advice needed M34-F32

Mackenzie1235

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Hi!

I have a dating question for you. Recently I (M34) have been chatting with a girl (F32) I know from high school (15 years ago). We had a small fling back then. Then I moved out of town and didn’t see her anymore. A few months ago I had a match with her on a dating app. It was just after Christmas. I said hello and stuff. She didn’t say anything back so I kind of forgot about her. Then two months later she responded to me and we started chatting on this dating app. After a while she gave me her number so we could chat further on Whatsapp.

We chatted and it was fun and then she told me she wanted to video call with me. I (video)called her and we spoke for about 2+ hours. It was fun and we continued chatting on Whatsapp.

Now she did respond to me very quickly (within one hour or so) and shows interest in me, but sometimes she just stopped responding. I waited for like 4 to 5 days for her response in vain and after that I took the initiative again. This happened a few times. I didn’t say anything to her just to wait for her to respond to my question. After 4 days of waiting I said something to her again and she responded back and we continued chatting like we did before.

I asked her again for a second video call/ date. She didn’t respond and I thought she wouldn’t respond again at all, but suddenly two days later she responded by saying she thought it was a good plan to do a second video call/ date. I asked her when she would be able to and she responded she would get back to me with that. We chatted a little longer but no second date had been set.

About two weeks ago she told me that she had the urge to discard the phone and all the social media stuff for a while and spend more time and energy with real people like her family and friends, doing sports, real life etc. in order to get more revitalized. She apologized to me for not giving me that much time and energy anymore and said that it wasn’t my fault. It didn’t have anything to do with me personally. I texted a few things after that, but no response from her up to this day.

I haven’t seen her online that much since she told me she would discard the phone for a while. She barely is online on Whatsapp and is no longer online on that dating app. So maybe it is true what she told me. In my last text I sent her I did a soft ‘pull-back’ saying that I wanted to tell her ‘something’, but that I would tell her when we would talk again.

So what should I do in your opinion? Should I keep waiting for her or just leave her? I would like to speak to her again in real life, but I don’t want to be too needy/ pushy. Do you think she is speaking the truth or did she just ‘dump’ me?
 

Glassguy

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About two weeks ago she told me that she had the urge to discard the phone and all the social media stuff for a while and spend more time and energy with real people like her family and friends, doing sports, real life etc. in order to get more revitalized. She apologized to me for not giving me that much time and energy anymore and said that it wasn’t my fault. It didn’t have anything to do with me personally. I texted a few things after that, but no response from her up to this day.
I wonder why she wants to ditch the phone and social media? LOL. Read my thread about False Equity. Reality is smacking her upside the face. She is realizing that she is being used and abused on OLD, etc., not to mention you show very little (if any) self respect after you have munched on the mere crumbs she has tossed you like a starving kid in Africa.

My response to her would be no response. You can decide for yourself if you are so desperate as to put up with this type of flaky behavior that is directly disrespectful for your time.

As for myself, she would never hear from me again. There is no rule saying that you have to ever respond back to a woman's text and frankly, if its not worth responding back to, I dont.
 

Modern Man Advice

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Hi!

I have a dating question for you. Recently I (M34) have been chatting with a girl (F32) I know from high school (15 years ago). We had a small fling back then. Then I moved out of town and didn’t see her anymore. A few months ago I had a match with her on a dating app. It was just after Christmas. I said hello and stuff. She didn’t say anything back so I kind of forgot about her. Then two months later she responded to me and we started chatting on this dating app. After a while she gave me her number so we could chat further on Whatsapp.

We chatted and it was fun and then she told me she wanted to video call with me. I (video)called her and we spoke for about 2+ hours. It was fun and we continued chatting on Whatsapp.

Now she did respond to me very quickly (within one hour or so) and shows interest in me, but sometimes she just stopped responding. I waited for like 4 to 5 days for her response in vain and after that I took the initiative again. This happened a few times. I didn’t say anything to her just to wait for her to respond to my question. After 4 days of waiting I said something to her again and she responded back and we continued chatting like we did before.

I asked her again for a second video call/ date. She didn’t respond and I thought she wouldn’t respond again at all, but suddenly two days later she responded by saying she thought it was a good plan to do a second video call/ date. I asked her when she would be able to and she responded she would get back to me with that. We chatted a little longer but no second date had been set.

About two weeks ago she told me that she had the urge to discard the phone and all the social media stuff for a while and spend more time and energy with real people like her family and friends, doing sports, real life etc. in order to get more revitalized. She apologized to me for not giving me that much time and energy anymore and said that it wasn’t my fault. It didn’t have anything to do with me personally. I texted a few things after that, but no response from her up to this day.

I haven’t seen her online that much since she told me she would discard the phone for a while. She barely is online on Whatsapp and is no longer online on that dating app. So maybe it is true what she told me. In my last text I sent her I did a soft ‘pull-back’ saying that I wanted to tell her ‘something’, but that I would tell her when we would talk again.

So what should I do in your opinion? Should I keep waiting for her or just leave her? I would like to speak to her again in real life, but I don’t want to be too needy/ pushy. Do you think she is speaking the truth or did she just ‘dump’ me?
She realized she is past her prime. She hit the wall and her biological clock is ticking slower and slower now. She simply realized you are not worth her time and effort. And she kind of indirectly told you as much. "...and spend more time and energy with real people like her family and friends, doing sports, real life etc. in order to get more revitalized."

Also, for the future. Do not double text. If you text and a girl doesn't respond, the worse thing you can do is send another text. And even worseeeee another after that. So I will leave you with this:

Stop being forgiving with people and letting things slide all the time. People know exactly what the f**k they are doing.

This is especially true with girls. When a girl, or anybody, ignores you, they do not deserve your time or mental energy.

Move on.

Modern Man Advice
 

Kotaix

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Do not engage in long distance crap unless you're going to go visit.

I live very far from where I grew up and I've run into this situation quite a few times, especially as I get older and some of my female friends from back in the day are still single. When I go visit, I hit these women up and we have a really good time, but when I leave again i maintain very light contact with them. Only enough for them to know that I occasionally think about them and very seldom is it anything is it more than a 'hey what's up'. I also never travel home for the purpose of seeing these women.

If you're hanging on the two blue checkmarks in whatsapp and constantly checking on if she's seen your messages then you have a problem and you need to talk to other women. Having one-itis for a woman that is long distance is a monumental waste of time.
 

Lookatu

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She casted her fishing line and you bit. She strung you along(with others) to get attention for when she's bored or lonely. You elevated your emotional investment even though she didn't do anything of any substance to justify that. She kept her investment to 20%, while you elevated yours to 80% for no reason.

Next time go by actions but also equal reciprocation before you decide to dive in and put in any kind of heavy emotional investment into it.
 

2Rocky

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Write her off unless you are going to see her in person and are making plans to do so.

On to the next one(s)
 

Mackenzie1235

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I wonder why she wants to ditch the phone and social media? LOL. Read my thread about False Equity. Reality is smacking her upside the face. She is realizing that she is being used and abused on OLD, etc., not to mention you show very little (if any) self respect after you have munched on the mere crumbs she has tossed you like a starving kid in Africa.

My response to her would be no response. You can decide for yourself if you are so desperate as to put up with this type of flaky behavior that is directly disrespectful for your time.

As for myself, she would never hear from me again. There is no rule saying that you have to ever respond back to a woman's text and frankly, if its not worth responding back to, I dont.
She sent me this Tedx talk:
After that she told me that she didn't want to use her phone that much anymore and to do things that gives her energy. So no hours on social media and kind of stuff anymore. She wanted to use the phone as little a possible. To be honest, she is indeed barely online anymore.

I mean we had interesting conversations and everything. Am I being that naive?
 

Mackenzie1235

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She realized she is past her prime. She hit the wall and her biological clock is ticking slower and slower now. She simply realized you are not worth her time and effort. And she kind of indirectly told you as much. "...and spend more time and energy with real people like her family and friends, doing sports, real life etc. in order to get more revitalized."

Also, for the future. Do not double text. If you text and a girl doesn't respond, the worse thing you can do is send another text. And even worseeeee another after that. So I will leave you with this:

Stop being forgiving with people and letting things slide all the time. People know exactly what the f**k they are doing.

This is especially true with girls. When a girl, or anybody, ignores you, they do not deserve your time or mental energy.

Move on.

Modern Man Advice
Last year she had a relationship with another guy, she got pregnant on accident, but had a miscarriage. Two weeks after that her ex-boyfriend left her without saying anything. He just dumped her. She confronted him and he only said he couldn't do it anymore. She talked to me three times about that she would like to have 2 or 3 kids.

But is it so bad what she did? She wants to get off the phone. She apologized to me for it. She is not obliged to respond to me is she?
 

Mackenzie1235

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Do not engage in long distance crap unless you're going to go visit.

I live very far from where I grew up and I've run into this situation quite a few times, especially as I get older and some of my female friends from back in the day are still single. When I go visit, I hit these women up and we have a really good time, but when I leave again i maintain very light contact with them. Only enough for them to know that I occasionally think about them and very seldom is it anything is it more than a 'hey what's up'. I also never travel home for the purpose of seeing these women.

If you're hanging on the two blue checkmarks in whatsapp and constantly checking on if she's seen your messages then you have a problem and you need to talk to other women. Having one-itis for a woman that is long distance is a monumental waste of time.
We live two hours away from each other.
 

Mackenzie1235

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She casted her fishing line and you bit. She strung you along(with others) to get attention for when she's bored or lonely. You elevated your emotional investment even though she didn't do anything of any substance to justify that. She kept her investment to 20%, while you elevated yours to 80% for no reason.

Next time go by actions but also equal reciprocation before you decide to dive in and put in any kind of heavy emotional investment into it.
Is it so bad to bite then? I think the actions were there. She wanted to talk to me badly. We spoke for like 2+ hours. She asked me all kinds of in depth questions. She liked the idea of a second (video)call etc...
 

Glassguy

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Is it so bad to bite then? I think the actions were there. She wanted to talk to me badly. We spoke for like 2+ hours. She asked me all kinds of in depth questions. She liked the idea of a second (video)call etc...
Go back and read this entire thread. Hopefully you will see how naive, feminine and thirsty you've been acting.

Stop trying to find someone who will agree with your beta actions. You are in the wrong place if thats what your looking for, so stop trolling.
 

Mackenzie1235

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Go back and read this entire thread. Hopefully you will see how naive, feminine and thirsty you've been acting.

Stop trying to find someone who will agree with your beta actions. You are in the wrong place if thats what your looking for, so stop trolling.
I am definitely not trolling
 

BackInTheGame78

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You needed to meet her in person not keep chatting via phone and video call. Lack of action on your part led to lack of action in the bedroom.

The only goal EVER when you start chatting with a woman on an app or in person or whatever is to get her out ASAP.
 

Mackenzie1235

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You needed to meet her in person not keep chatting via phone and video call. Lack of action on your part led to lack of action in the bedroom.

The only goal EVER when you start chatting with a woman on an app or in person or whatever is to get her out ASAP.
Yes the thing is: we still a lockdown in my country. All bars etc. are closed. That's why we (video)called.
 
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