"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Advice needed, girl acting confused and nervous around me

Lamont

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So I met this girl on one of my classes. Long story short, I notice her giving me "the look", and she happened to always sit next to me (even though there were other spaces available), and while next to me, play with her hair the whole time, towards my direction.

So anyway, I started talking to me and she was quite happy to talk, giggling a lot and acting a little nervous. Before I left, I asked for her number and if she would like to watch a movie with me and my friends later that day. She said yes, then maybe since she might have something to do. I called her that night and she told me she can't come because something came up, but that she's free all of the next day. So I called her the next day twice and she didn't pick up. Then I left her a message and she never returned my call.

In the meantime, through myspace, I found out that she's in a relationship.... Anyway the next time I saw her, I asked how come she never returned my call, and lets just say she came up with a very ridiculous lie. I know she lied because she contradicted herself with earlier statements she made. Anyway I notice that she was really really nervous around me that day. She was even blushing and maybe try to hide her emotions. Maybe confused at the same time. I didn't have much time to talk to her since I was in a hurry, but I asked if she would like to hang out sometimes, and she said she's really busy that week.

Later that day I left her a message saying that she should have told me she has a bf from the beginning...

Anyway, I haven't seen her since so....

Any advice on what I should do?
Should I forget about her, hang out with her or act like a good friend type of person? She looked kind of confused about things the last time I was with her. She probably doesn't like her bf that much but doesn't want to let go of him and at the same time doesn't want to reject me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bible_Belt

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Her interest level in her bf was down when she gave you the number, then she panicked and felt guilty. There's nothing you can do but move on.

To be constructively critical, you did come on a little strong, calling her, what, three times? But worse is the guilt trip thing:

I asked how come she never returned my call...

Later that day I left her a message saying that she should have told me she has a bf from the beginning...


Obviously, you are mad at her for flaking, but it does not do any good to reprimand her. You punish her by forgetting about her, not by scolding her.
 

Sam Adams

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Forget about it her at this point. Initially she was interested but wanted to remain loyal to her bf. Your constant calling every day has more than likely ruined any chance you had and showed her that you were very needy. You should have taken charge at the beginning instead of saying "would you like to watch a movie with me and my friends," say something that comes off as confident and independent. Try "look I want to take the time to get to know you, I'm busy tonight with (track practice or any other rational excuse) but I'm free tomorrow after lunch. Are you free then?"
If yes... "then let's watch x movie at 2 o'clock at y place."
If no...then ask when she is free and shoot down the first time she says to show you aren't needy and then hesitate on her second suggestion and say "I think I can do that, if I have to cancel I'll text/call you." No matter what don't say "That is great I can't wait!!!!" Basically act like you have a lot of stuff to do, and don't seem too enthusiastic because enthusiasm and neediness are best friends.

you get the idea. If not I'll try to get back to you.
 

DonGorgon

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hmmmm... sounds like another ho pretending to not be such... well game on then... Tell her she cant have you cause her man will be jelouse she will love the challenge... and cheating on her man...
 

Lamont

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I only called her twice. Once where she didn't pick up and once where I left a message. And of course the first time where she told me she was free the day after.

And yeah I did come kind of strong when I mentioned why she didn't call me but thats because I wanted to get this thing to a conclusion. We really haven't talked in close to a week so..

I don't see how I acted desperate, quite the opposite. I called her initially because she told me she might come and that I should call just in case, then I called her the day after twice because she told me she was free the day after. Then boom in a 2 week time I didn't really call her.

I guess I'll get this to a conclusion when I see her. I'm just wondering if I should bother asking her to hang out, maybe for a coffee. Or just to show her I have no interest left. ...

Thanks for the advice by the way
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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