"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Advice needed, girl acting confused and nervous around me

Lamont

New Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
So I met this girl on one of my classes. Long story short, I notice her giving me "the look", and she happened to always sit next to me (even though there were other spaces available), and while next to me, play with her hair the whole time, towards my direction.

So anyway, I started talking to me and she was quite happy to talk, giggling a lot and acting a little nervous. Before I left, I asked for her number and if she would like to watch a movie with me and my friends later that day. She said yes, then maybe since she might have something to do. I called her that night and she told me she can't come because something came up, but that she's free all of the next day. So I called her the next day twice and she didn't pick up. Then I left her a message and she never returned my call.

In the meantime, through myspace, I found out that she's in a relationship.... Anyway the next time I saw her, I asked how come she never returned my call, and lets just say she came up with a very ridiculous lie. I know she lied because she contradicted herself with earlier statements she made. Anyway I notice that she was really really nervous around me that day. She was even blushing and maybe try to hide her emotions. Maybe confused at the same time. I didn't have much time to talk to her since I was in a hurry, but I asked if she would like to hang out sometimes, and she said she's really busy that week.

Later that day I left her a message saying that she should have told me she has a bf from the beginning...

Anyway, I haven't seen her since so....

Any advice on what I should do?
Should I forget about her, hang out with her or act like a good friend type of person? She looked kind of confused about things the last time I was with her. She probably doesn't like her bf that much but doesn't want to let go of him and at the same time doesn't want to reject me.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,589
Reaction score
6,374
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
Her interest level in her bf was down when she gave you the number, then she panicked and felt guilty. There's nothing you can do but move on.

To be constructively critical, you did come on a little strong, calling her, what, three times? But worse is the guilt trip thing:

I asked how come she never returned my call...

Later that day I left her a message saying that she should have told me she has a bf from the beginning...


Obviously, you are mad at her for flaking, but it does not do any good to reprimand her. You punish her by forgetting about her, not by scolding her.
 

Sam Adams

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 26, 2007
Messages
46
Reaction score
0
Forget about it her at this point. Initially she was interested but wanted to remain loyal to her bf. Your constant calling every day has more than likely ruined any chance you had and showed her that you were very needy. You should have taken charge at the beginning instead of saying "would you like to watch a movie with me and my friends," say something that comes off as confident and independent. Try "look I want to take the time to get to know you, I'm busy tonight with (track practice or any other rational excuse) but I'm free tomorrow after lunch. Are you free then?"
If yes... "then let's watch x movie at 2 o'clock at y place."
If no...then ask when she is free and shoot down the first time she says to show you aren't needy and then hesitate on her second suggestion and say "I think I can do that, if I have to cancel I'll text/call you." No matter what don't say "That is great I can't wait!!!!" Basically act like you have a lot of stuff to do, and don't seem too enthusiastic because enthusiasm and neediness are best friends.

you get the idea. If not I'll try to get back to you.
 

DonGorgon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
4,679
Reaction score
102
Location
Studying the fact that all lies contain fragments
hmmmm... sounds like another ho pretending to not be such... well game on then... Tell her she cant have you cause her man will be jelouse she will love the challenge... and cheating on her man...
 

Lamont

New Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
I only called her twice. Once where she didn't pick up and once where I left a message. And of course the first time where she told me she was free the day after.

And yeah I did come kind of strong when I mentioned why she didn't call me but thats because I wanted to get this thing to a conclusion. We really haven't talked in close to a week so..

I don't see how I acted desperate, quite the opposite. I called her initially because she told me she might come and that I should call just in case, then I called her the day after twice because she told me she was free the day after. Then boom in a 2 week time I didn't really call her.

I guess I'll get this to a conclusion when I see her. I'm just wondering if I should bother asking her to hang out, maybe for a coffee. Or just to show her I have no interest left. ...

Thanks for the advice by the way
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Top