Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Advice from anyone please (phone / IM)

Telos

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So... I've been seeing this girl for about a month now. I'm 22 and she's 18. She runs about 8 miles a day and has the most insane body that I've ever seen. Her face is legendary and she gets quite a few guys hitting on her all the time. We've gone out for awhile now and almost every single time we hung out it ended up with sex. Problem is she calls me constantly to try and "chat" now. She is convinced that I am her long lost soul-mate and whenever she can she makes up an excuse to see me. Obviously her IL is still strong despite our constant contact but I think I can start to feel things going downhill. She's not as interested as she was when we first met. She hits me up on AIM and constantly wants to talk about her life. Usually I will talk to her for about 30 minutes or so, but if it goes beyond that I cut things short. Am I going to reduce her IL by indulging her like this?

I'm pretty sure I am... so here's my next question... what's my excuse going to be when she calls? She's already told me she loves me and she expects me to return her calls, IM's, and texts. Should I just say, "I'm busy, sorry"? She is the type that has low self esteem and she is afraid she's going to be alone all her life. The DJ inside me wants to keep a distance but the more sensitive side inside me wants to be there. I'm afraid I'm starting to really care about her.

Any advice?
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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KontrollerX

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Your gut instinct is telling you that despite her professions of undying love her interest level is going down.

Your gut instinct is right.

She is telling you the love garbage she is telling you so that you will continue to be there for her and listen to her problems until she can secure a new and perceived better branch of male interest and thus cut your interest off.

As far as I know the only way you can win this battle with her is to play the distant card and make her work for your time.

Scarcity creates value.

Whenever you decide to give in and give her some time using this distancy tactic always make sure you get something of value out of it be it sex, her paying for dinner somewhere or whatever.

The higher her IL grows in you again if it does the more safe you can feel returning back to normal relations with her like it was in the past.

Your gut instinct again tells you that her interest is dying you simply repeat the distancing tactics.

Lather, rinse, repeat basically.

As for an excuse on the phone all you have to do is tell her you're really busy now and have to go, you were supposed to meet a friend and go somewhere, or you have relatives coming to visit.

Its not rocket science.
 
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Pay no mind to her "Love" game - you have known her for a few weeks and boinked her a few times and now she wants to be your wife? Please!!!! You are just the next pimp in line!! Only talk to her in person - otherwise don't answer the phone - problem solved!!
 

Telos

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Thanks for the response Kontroller. I understand your point about scarcity.
I've always known that and utilized it to my advantage. When a girl like this comes around I find that I usually play the game to a T in the beginning, but then my game starts to soften once I get closer.

Don't get me wrong--I don't turn into a f*cking p*ssy. I just tend to stick around a little longer, show her that I care a little more, and I get a little more accessible then I probably should.

I think you are 100% right though.
 
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She already took her clothes off after the first few hours of knowing you and you hit it - it's too late for the "scarcity" game - you reached the maximum intimacy level already!! Just don't become her g/f by talking to her on the phone/online as a friend - you are beyond that point based on her sexual actions!

Be scarce, for what? The pursuit is over - yiou had her!!!!
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Telos

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I don't know man. That's a good point. I'm not sure that sex was in itself an end for me. I enjoyed it; we both did... very very much. In fact, she told me that I gave her the longest orgasm of her life. I think I gave her a total of seven orgasms the other night, each averaging about 20 seconds. She was absolutely drunk on pleasure and couldn't even speak straight after. I wish I had a camera.

I find myself wanting more though. I keep drifting back to her pictures and I just can't help but get overtaken by her intoxicating vibe. She's so young, adventurous, eager, and ready for anything at any time. She told me that she would never care if I hooked up with another girl so long as I was honest with her. She gives road head on command. She's also bi and actually helped me hit on this waitress at a local pizza joint.

So I guess the reason why I want to maintain her IL might be rooted in selfishness. I honestly don't want her going out and hooking up with a bunch of other guys. Yes, there is a tinge of jealousy. I would rather she comes to me for her satisfaction. She's careless, extremely horny, and extremely flirtatious. I have this fetishized goal of doing the impossible and trying to keep her dependent on me. I want to see how far I can take it.

Bad? Yes. I'm very bad.
 

penkitten

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the oneitis is taking over already......
(cue the evil music )
dum dum dum...
 

KontrollerX

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"So I guess the reason why I want to maintain her IL might be rooted in selfishness. I honestly don't want her going out and hooking up with a bunch of other guys. Yes, there is a tinge of jealousy. I would rather she comes to me for her satisfaction. She's careless, extremely horny, and extremely flirtatious. I have this fetishized goal of doing the impossible and trying to keep her dependent on me. I want to see how far I can take it.

Bad? Yes. I'm very bad."


There is a great phrase I heard once that goes...

"Those who love too much lose everything but those who love with irony last."

Not saying you love HER but you certainly love the benefits she brings into your life.

Anyway I believe what the quote I just posted means is that to hold onto someone you want more and more of you must do the opposite of what feels should logically get you results.

In other words fight the AFC mind within that wants to be overly caring and sharing and embrace the DJ mindset which is all about maximizing your happiness not someone else's.

You know this already and are slowly winning the fight against that inner AFC we all have that creeps back up at certain times.

In anycase your idea of keeping her dependant on you is outstanding as it is one of the 48 Laws of Power.

To make use of this law you have to find something that she can get from you she cannot get anywhere else or talk to her and find some emotional void of hers to fill that attaches her to you strongly.

Basically a great weakness you can exploit and then you will have her for as long as you want her.
 
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She's "Bi" ???? A pervert!! Sex is the only thing she is good for!!!! What do you want from this??
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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