"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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advice column question: Husband who hasn’t had sex in years asks, ‘Is this normal?’

MatureDJ

MatureDJ

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Hi, Carolyn: Should I be worried that my wife and I have had no sex for literally years? I am guessing it is at least three years. Not even heavy make-out sessions. It just seems that my wife has no interest. I am afraid to broach the subject for fear of a negative answer.

We don’t sleep in the same bed anymore either. I am a big snorer and chose to sleep in the guest room. It’s fine because she is a light sleeper and I am happier that she is getting her sleep. I do use a CPAP but it does come off sometimes.

The no-sex thing just happened over time. We have both gained some weight but we are not obese — we could both lose 20 or 30 pounds.

Is this normal or should we seek help?
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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mrgoodstuff

mrgoodstuff

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Lose your weight. You probably will lose your snoring issue. I was 50lbs over and at night I was told I snored like a grizzly. It was insanely loud. My breathing was so bad I would wakeup multiple times. So I dropped the weight and the snoring went away and so did the breathing problems. Either go in with your wife to lose weight or lead by example. It'll take 2-3 months to get that off.
 
K

King of Action

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I read this same article last week. It goes to show that marriage and sex is overrated. Their marriage is still intact but there's way more than sex missing in their marriage.
 
O

Omega_Dawg93

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Roober said:
Western medicine cracks me up... Let's not fix the root issue of why he snores and can't sleep well.. Let's give him a friggin CPAP, which basically puts a bandaid on gaping wound...
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there are small (skinny) people that require CPAPs.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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daddymonsterpoodle

daddymonsterpoodle

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Is it still a marriage? Sounds more like they are cohabiting. Legally I guess it is.
The weight isn't the issue although it doesn't help. The issue is boredom. They have ground the passion out of each other or life has. I am sure she still wants sex, just not with him. He still wants sex. Neither of them are working very hard at making the other feel wanted or sexy. Why is the question being asked now 3 YEARS after the sex dried up and not 3 days or 3 months.
Normally I would say apply covert dread but that is pointless if the other person doesnt give a f-ck.

Some people have little or no sex drive. Even so, they both need to get passionate about something.
 
speed dawg

speed dawg

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So what was Carolyn's answer?
 
mrgoodstuff

mrgoodstuff

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It's normal for some people, but if sex is important to you you shouldn't let it be YOUR normal. I know a guy with a 30 day rule. If wife doesn't put out in 30 days he's cheating. Also after 6 months of this he will be looking for a divorce.
 
daddymonsterpoodle

daddymonsterpoodle

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I acknowledge that for some people sex isn't that big a deal. I know that when my marriage turned to sh-t and the sex stopped I didn't miss the sex as much as the affectiion that created the desire for sex.
 
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