"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Address the elephant in the room the same as 'we need to talk'?

chris2for

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This girl and I have been in a REALLY weird space lately. I'll admit we've both been playing games. The last time we spoke I reached out to her and she seemed receptive. She then initiated contact 9 days later and said she said "Called to talk. I wanted to address the elephant in the room so to speak lol" . She called me which she never really does, didn't leave a vm but followed up with a text saying this. I'll admit we've both been playing games and haven't been too sure about her interest level.

1.Address the elephant in the room the same as 'we need to talk'?
2.Rejection looming?
 
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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chris2for

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Or commitment coming. ??
Right, after I contacted her and we talked she didn't say anything for 9 days. I don't know I feel like if she wanted a commitment she wouldn't have gone that long to say something or why not have come right out and ask, where is this going?
 

@Jonanthony

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Yen but she could test those waters. How long u wait for contact ur interest level etc. She either wants this to ramp up or dear Chris2for..... Either way u can smooth this out if it is your desire ....And if you want LTR she has admitted game play so may be honest attempt for new directions.....
 

Ratiocinative

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She totally set you up for a good one.

"We need to address the elephant in the room."

"Well I did notice you gained a few pounds, but I don't think you're quite that big yet."
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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CMNILS87

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You talked then you ghosted for 9 days?? That's too long, even if you're busy she knows you're purposely not texting her so she's basically saying "fuvk you" for not initiating. I think it's neither, but leaning towards she's losing major interest. It's definitely not the commitment talk.

Cut out this bull**** talk stuff. Ask her on a date, and she can talk all she wants about her feelings.
 

chris2for

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You talked then you ghosted for 9 days?? That's too long, even if you're busy she knows you're purposely not texting her so she's basically saying "fuvk you" for not initiating. I think it's neither, but leaning towards she's losing major interest. It's definitely not the commitment talk.

Cut out this bull**** talk stuff. Ask her on a date, and she can talk all she wants about her feelings.
No I didn't "ghost". I initiated the conversation. We talked. She didn't initiate or say anything for 9 days. I figured she would have made contact with me.
 

ritapita20

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You talked then you ghosted for 9 days?? That's too long, even if you're busy she knows you're purposely not texting her so she's basically saying "fuvk you" for not initiating. I think it's neither, but leaning towards she's losing major interest. It's definitely not the commitment talk.

Cut out this bull**** talk stuff. Ask her on a date, and she can talk all she wants about her feelings.
I don't know. If I'm interested in someone I'm not going 9 days, especially after they initiated. I would think it would be my turn so to speak.

Things could be fine OP, but my guess is it's not.

She went 9 days without saying anything, then just randomly says she wants to talk. If she was testing you so to speak she could've just started a new conversation with you but instead she gave you the ominous "we need to talk". Usually when someone says this good news doesn't follow. If she hadn't gone 9 days without speaking to you or at least eased her way into saying she wanted to talk then I would be more optimistic.

If the tables were turned and man did that to me I would think he was withdrawing and this we need to talk/address the elephant in the room talk was him gearing up to end things...
 

Stugots26

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Women inflate problems, men shrink problems. If you act like whatever the elephant is really is no big deal and manageable while letting her get her words out, she'll be more into you.
 

icantgetlaid

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Ever since I took the red pill these type of awkward situations in relationships never happen to me. There's no "end" because there's really no beginning. You date girls (many of them), they all kind of suspect there are other girls, and they all put on their best behavior to try to earn your attention/love/affection/etc. Anytime a girl gets out of line, you ghost them. If they insist on wanting to continue to see you, they do it on your terms, if not, they just go away.

In other words: work on yourself (get your SMV up), and spin more plates and there wouldn't be any elephants in the room or relationship drama about them.
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Trump

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This girl and I have been in a REALLY weird space lately. I'll admit we've both been playing games. The last time we spoke I reached out to her and she seemed receptive. She then initiated contact 9 days later and said she said "Called to talk. I wanted to address the elephant in the room so to speak lol" . She called me which she never really does, didn't leave a vm but followed up with a text saying this. I'll admit we've both been playing games and haven't been too sure about her interest level.

1.Address the elephant in the room the same as 'we need to talk'?
2.Rejection looming?
If you care more than her doesn't matter what game playing is done or what you talk about. You will lose.

Just keep having sex with her. If she stops, tell her you have to have sex with other girls. Let her worry about everything else. :)
 

marmel75

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Men shouldn't be playing games, whatever happens it's on you.
 

chris2for

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Men shouldn't be playing games, whatever happens it's on you.
I agree to an extent. She blew me off. She then wanted to see me 2 weeks later after and I blew her off. I felt like she was toying with me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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marmel75

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Really? She said "want to grab coffee. Miss you". Still seems like I'm a back up?
Yeah, because if you were not the backup it would be "I want you to come over tonight. Miss you." AKA "Can you come over and fvck the life out of me?? I miss your d!ck"

Coffee is so....friend like...of all the things a woman could suggest after going on a bunch of dates with a guy, this is probably the last I'd be expecting if she was really into you.

I'd decline the coffee date and invite her over.
 

El Payaso

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Who cares. She's just another girl.
 

chris2for

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Yeah, because if you were not the backup it would be "I want you to come over tonight. Miss you." AKA "Can you come over and fvck the life out of me?? I miss your d!ck"

Coffee is so....friend like...of all the things a woman could suggest after going on a bunch of dates with a guy, this is probably the last I'd be expecting if she was really into you.

I'd decline the coffee date and invite her over.
Hmm. So her miss you doesn't mean sh*t and she's just trying to be friendly?
So her wanting to address the elephant in the room is to reject me more than likely?
 

marmel75

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Hmm. So her miss you doesn't mean sh*t and she's just trying to be friendly?
So her wanting to address the elephant in the room is to reject me more than likely?
I'd say she is about to hit you with a LJBF talk...have you had sex with her yet?
 

hockeyfreak79

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No I didn't "ghost". I initiated the conversation. We talked. She didn't initiate or say anything for 9 days. I figured she would have made contact with me.
HA! AWALT....99.9% will not initiate in early stages of anything. You got bang em solid for atleast 30-60 days. Even then they still might not!?

What's the timeline here? How many good bangs have you gotten in? Men lead, woman follow. Don't chase, just lead. Set up dates, fvck em. And have fun doing it, when the fun stops just move on to new prospects.
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

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