Do you guys actually ever tell the girl that u like her or do you just let things take there course. Last month this girl showed a huge IL but then she just stopped talking to me. Maybe its because I really never let her know that I liked her. A lot of people on this board say just keep getting more physical and let things take there course but I think not saying anything ruined me in this case.
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
actually telling her
- Thread starter Goose
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
The whole reason you're being instructed to be physical is that your actions with convey your interest, and the rest will fall into place.Originally posted by Goose
Do you guys actually ever tell the girl that u like her or do you just let things take there course. Last month this girl showed a huge IL but then she just stopped talking to me. Maybe its because I really never let her know that I liked her. A lot of people on this board say just keep getting more physical and let things take there course but I think not saying anything ruined me in this case.
Ten Bucks says you didn't exhibit any strong signs of interest like KINO, C+F, or perhaps even eye-contact. Even words are preferrable to a lack of action.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Never tell a girl that you 'like' her in the beginning stages of a relationship. Do some fun activities with her and show her that you posses certain quialitiess that are admirable by all women. By displaying these qualities and having a good time she will gravitate towards you and she would 'want' to be with you.
See make-a-way's thread for a greater and more lengthy insight titled...."Sexuality is on my mentality..."
See make-a-way's thread for a greater and more lengthy insight titled...."Sexuality is on my mentality..."
This girl would call me everyday. She'd invite me over to watch movies and stuff. She'd say stuff like do you think im pretty and stuff like that. She'd buy me stuff too. I'm pretty sure she liked me. But I was never really comfortable making a move on her for one reason. She never really showed any physical signs interest. Usually when I hook up with a chic they do little things to show that its ok to get physical like put there hands on ur neck and say there cold, or put there arm around you or somthing. The thing is when i first met her she was real physical with me. She would slap my butt and take my arm and stuff. But I didn't like her back then. I grew to like her and started hanging out with her later. I think by then she was afraid to do anything cuz she was worried that I didn't like her. I really didn't show any interest in the beginning cuz i wasn't interested in the beginning.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
OK, missed opportunitty - move on if you feel that your time has passed. Only you can decide remaining interest level at this point!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
Sorry dude, but you need to get burned here. Let's examine all the many mistakes and charateristics which have quite possibly sabotaged your chances with her.
She contacted you on a regular basis...
She ARRANGED FOR YOU TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER ALONE!!!
She constantly solicitted your praise. (Hint: if you like someone, you generally like to know that they reciprocate)
She even bought you stuff. (hmmm... buying affection; see: High interest level)
Face it. She did everything but completely drop her ASD and you choked beause, as you put it,"I'm pretty sure she liked me." She used everything but smoke signals to let you know she was interested and you were only 'pretty sure'. What type of a heinous wretch do you take yourself for, or are you really that naive?
The solution, in fact, the only way you will progress to the next stage in becoming a better DJ and a better person is to develop a "less brains, more balls" approach in the future. Ambivalence is your enemy. Inertia is your enemy. Learn from these mistakes, and develop your confidence in yourself. Why wouldn't she like you? You are the prize and you know she knew that. I think that deep down, if you had also known this, you two would be together making sweet love instead of sitting in front of that computer screen, alone and confused.
-CyranoDeBergerac
Despite the fact that you directly refute that 'one reason' later on by noting that she would grab your @ss, at this point I have to ask what in hell or purgatory were you waiting for an engraved invitation? The incessant calling hould've been enough to tip you off to her interest level from the word go. She not only gave you signs of interest, but strong physical signs of interest and you were too busy hemming and hawwing to remove your head from your @ss long enough to notice the scenery.Originally posted by Goose
This girl would call me everyday. She'd invite me over to watch movies and stuff. She'd say stuff like do you think im pretty and stuff like that. She'd buy me stuff too. I'm pretty sure she liked me. But I was never really comfortable making a move on her for one reason. She never really showed any physical signs interest.
She contacted you on a regular basis...
She ARRANGED FOR YOU TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER ALONE!!!
She constantly solicitted your praise. (Hint: if you like someone, you generally like to know that they reciprocate)
She even bought you stuff. (hmmm... buying affection; see: High interest level)
Face it. She did everything but completely drop her ASD and you choked beause, as you put it,"I'm pretty sure she liked me." She used everything but smoke signals to let you know she was interested and you were only 'pretty sure'. What type of a heinous wretch do you take yourself for, or are you really that naive?
Just interjecting to point out that your main reservation was completely unfounded from the get go, and you should've realized it.Usually when I hook up with a chic they do little things to show that its ok to get physical like put there hands on ur neck and say there cold, or put there arm around you or somthing. The thing is when i first met her she was real physical with me.
So you didn't like her in the beginning but came to later on only as she was recoiling from your lack of reciprocation. So you did nothing. You knew that she liked you, you knew that you liked her, and you did nothing, in essence widening the chasm which you had created between the two of you. You should've gone for it the second you saw what was there between you.She would slap my butt and take my arm and stuff. But I didn't like her back then. I grew to like her and started hanging out with her later. I think by then she was afraid to do anything cuz she was worried that I didn't like her. I really didn't show any interest in the beginning cuz i wasn't interested in the beginning.
The solution, in fact, the only way you will progress to the next stage in becoming a better DJ and a better person is to develop a "less brains, more balls" approach in the future. Ambivalence is your enemy. Inertia is your enemy. Learn from these mistakes, and develop your confidence in yourself. Why wouldn't she like you? You are the prize and you know she knew that. I think that deep down, if you had also known this, you two would be together making sweet love instead of sitting in front of that computer screen, alone and confused.
-CyranoDeBergerac
princelydeeds
Master Don Juan
Goose, I think you learned the most valuable lesson when it comes to women, especially young women. All things are subject to change, thats why I say go for it as soon as possible. You never know what personal drama she is/was going through. Maybe she had a boyfriend, with whom she got back together. Maybe she met someone she liked more than you. Maybe she things your gay because she threw herself at you but you couldnt pick up the obvious signals. I can think of 100's of "what if," scenarios.
The point is, you can "what If" yourself to death. When you have the shot take it. Don't wait, don't hesitate, Don't think, Just DO It!
The point is, you can "what If" yourself to death. When you have the shot take it. Don't wait, don't hesitate, Don't think, Just DO It!