Do you guys actually ever tell the girl that u like her or do you just let things take there course. Last month this girl showed a huge IL but then she just stopped talking to me. Maybe its because I really never let her know that I liked her. A lot of people on this board say just keep getting more physical and let things take there course but I think not saying anything ruined me in this case.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
actually telling her
- Thread starter Goose
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
The whole reason you're being instructed to be physical is that your actions with convey your interest, and the rest will fall into place.Originally posted by Goose
Do you guys actually ever tell the girl that u like her or do you just let things take there course. Last month this girl showed a huge IL but then she just stopped talking to me. Maybe its because I really never let her know that I liked her. A lot of people on this board say just keep getting more physical and let things take there course but I think not saying anything ruined me in this case.
Ten Bucks says you didn't exhibit any strong signs of interest like KINO, C+F, or perhaps even eye-contact. Even words are preferrable to a lack of action.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Never tell a girl that you 'like' her in the beginning stages of a relationship. Do some fun activities with her and show her that you posses certain quialitiess that are admirable by all women. By displaying these qualities and having a good time she will gravitate towards you and she would 'want' to be with you.
See make-a-way's thread for a greater and more lengthy insight titled...."Sexuality is on my mentality..."
See make-a-way's thread for a greater and more lengthy insight titled...."Sexuality is on my mentality..."
This girl would call me everyday. She'd invite me over to watch movies and stuff. She'd say stuff like do you think im pretty and stuff like that. She'd buy me stuff too. I'm pretty sure she liked me. But I was never really comfortable making a move on her for one reason. She never really showed any physical signs interest. Usually when I hook up with a chic they do little things to show that its ok to get physical like put there hands on ur neck and say there cold, or put there arm around you or somthing. The thing is when i first met her she was real physical with me. She would slap my butt and take my arm and stuff. But I didn't like her back then. I grew to like her and started hanging out with her later. I think by then she was afraid to do anything cuz she was worried that I didn't like her. I really didn't show any interest in the beginning cuz i wasn't interested in the beginning.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
OK, missed opportunitty - move on if you feel that your time has passed. Only you can decide remaining interest level at this point!
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
Sorry dude, but you need to get burned here. Let's examine all the many mistakes and charateristics which have quite possibly sabotaged your chances with her.
She contacted you on a regular basis...
She ARRANGED FOR YOU TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER ALONE!!!
She constantly solicitted your praise. (Hint: if you like someone, you generally like to know that they reciprocate)
She even bought you stuff. (hmmm... buying affection; see: High interest level)
Face it. She did everything but completely drop her ASD and you choked beause, as you put it,"I'm pretty sure she liked me." She used everything but smoke signals to let you know she was interested and you were only 'pretty sure'. What type of a heinous wretch do you take yourself for, or are you really that naive?
The solution, in fact, the only way you will progress to the next stage in becoming a better DJ and a better person is to develop a "less brains, more balls" approach in the future. Ambivalence is your enemy. Inertia is your enemy. Learn from these mistakes, and develop your confidence in yourself. Why wouldn't she like you? You are the prize and you know she knew that. I think that deep down, if you had also known this, you two would be together making sweet love instead of sitting in front of that computer screen, alone and confused.
-CyranoDeBergerac
Despite the fact that you directly refute that 'one reason' later on by noting that she would grab your @ss, at this point I have to ask what in hell or purgatory were you waiting for an engraved invitation? The incessant calling hould've been enough to tip you off to her interest level from the word go. She not only gave you signs of interest, but strong physical signs of interest and you were too busy hemming and hawwing to remove your head from your @ss long enough to notice the scenery.Originally posted by Goose
This girl would call me everyday. She'd invite me over to watch movies and stuff. She'd say stuff like do you think im pretty and stuff like that. She'd buy me stuff too. I'm pretty sure she liked me. But I was never really comfortable making a move on her for one reason. She never really showed any physical signs interest.
She contacted you on a regular basis...
She ARRANGED FOR YOU TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER ALONE!!!
She constantly solicitted your praise. (Hint: if you like someone, you generally like to know that they reciprocate)
She even bought you stuff. (hmmm... buying affection; see: High interest level)
Face it. She did everything but completely drop her ASD and you choked beause, as you put it,"I'm pretty sure she liked me." She used everything but smoke signals to let you know she was interested and you were only 'pretty sure'. What type of a heinous wretch do you take yourself for, or are you really that naive?
Just interjecting to point out that your main reservation was completely unfounded from the get go, and you should've realized it.Usually when I hook up with a chic they do little things to show that its ok to get physical like put there hands on ur neck and say there cold, or put there arm around you or somthing. The thing is when i first met her she was real physical with me.
So you didn't like her in the beginning but came to later on only as she was recoiling from your lack of reciprocation. So you did nothing. You knew that she liked you, you knew that you liked her, and you did nothing, in essence widening the chasm which you had created between the two of you. You should've gone for it the second you saw what was there between you.She would slap my butt and take my arm and stuff. But I didn't like her back then. I grew to like her and started hanging out with her later. I think by then she was afraid to do anything cuz she was worried that I didn't like her. I really didn't show any interest in the beginning cuz i wasn't interested in the beginning.
The solution, in fact, the only way you will progress to the next stage in becoming a better DJ and a better person is to develop a "less brains, more balls" approach in the future. Ambivalence is your enemy. Inertia is your enemy. Learn from these mistakes, and develop your confidence in yourself. Why wouldn't she like you? You are the prize and you know she knew that. I think that deep down, if you had also known this, you two would be together making sweet love instead of sitting in front of that computer screen, alone and confused.
-CyranoDeBergerac
princelydeeds
Master Don Juan
Goose, I think you learned the most valuable lesson when it comes to women, especially young women. All things are subject to change, thats why I say go for it as soon as possible. You never know what personal drama she is/was going through. Maybe she had a boyfriend, with whom she got back together. Maybe she met someone she liked more than you. Maybe she things your gay because she threw herself at you but you couldnt pick up the obvious signals. I can think of 100's of "what if," scenarios.
The point is, you can "what If" yourself to death. When you have the shot take it. Don't wait, don't hesitate, Don't think, Just DO It!
The point is, you can "what If" yourself to death. When you have the shot take it. Don't wait, don't hesitate, Don't think, Just DO It!