"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Action Dates

Being_the_Don

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To set the Don Juan apart from other guys The Book of Pook emphasizes that guys should take women on action dates, so does DeAngelo. But in my experience women still prefer the movies and dinner dates. When I'm approaching a woman and we're hitting it off I offer to go to the park or cycling. But they want to meet for coffee instead, or eat out then a movie. Even when I have a woman out on a lunch date or something I get bored just talking and invite her to do something else. I ask if she likes to work out or play some kind of sport-nothing heavy, though. Usually it's an "I like to watch movies or TV" kind of thing. Up to this point they don't like to do anything physically challenging. Even before I came to sosuave I had this experience with women I used to go out with. It's always about movies, going to the mall or eating at her place or a restaurant. And these aren't what you'd call lazy, ugly couch potato women. They definitely qualify as attractive and intelligent but they don't like to do the things I like to do. So I get tired of it and then it degrades into arguments or me just not talking to them or them not talking to me.

I think that women who like sports or outdoors activities prefer it be from the spectator side. A picnic in the park but no Frisbee. :( I can only sit still so long. And eventually I do run out of things to talk about.

How many of you guys really get women you first meet to go on an action date? How do you get a woman you're having dinner with to go cycling on the next date?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Themanthatcan

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This is what you do. To get an action date, tell her your going somewhere ( whether shes coming or not) and if she'd like to come along she can.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I've never been a fan of the action date as the first date; personally I think it's as bad as a movie, just a deflection from having to entertain one another. Unless the purpose of going out is to just have a companion to join you at the event, action dates aren't all that good to get to know one another (which women who are truly interested would want to do).

I've found that women who prefer dinner and a movie as a first date are usually more interested in going out than in you personally. Hey, if they don't feel the chemistry it's not a entire loss, at least they got fed and saw a show.

Guys on the other hand want to show their value by a display of prowess at some event. Unfortunately more times than not it comes off as some type of competition with the woman (at least in her eyes) and she finishes the event feeling less than competent (yeah, that'll attract her to you).

So on a first date I avoid elaborate things. I keep it simple and just meet over coffee (even [especially] if they suggest dinner). I hear so often that guys aren't conversationalist and get bored during a simple coffee date but I ask, would you want to spend time with (heaven forbid date) someone that bores you?
 

Dark Chivalry

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Women who want to compete with you on a date are bad apples in my opinion. If they want to be men they can grow some nuts and a beard. A lot of women want to be able to show off their looks in a dress and heels on a first date, thats why they like dinner. That can be good if you know you like talking to the girl and want to get to know her better. As Francisco said, if she is a stranger, coffee is best because you are not waisting your time or money. If you can't think of anything to say you need to work on your conversational skills.

If you do the dinner thing, forget about movies, but take her dancing instead, or just have a few drinks after dinner.

As for action dates, light sports like golf, badminton, frisbee or walk around activities like the zoo, going to a dance workshop are fun for both sexes and you can still talk while engaging in the action. Heavier activity dates that include acts of dearing-do are for you to show off your bravery and be the man that guides and protects the little woman who is a bit afraid of heights and spiders or has trouble carrying her backpack. If you know your date is not a feminista, this can bring out the masculine/feminine dynamic nicely.

Each sort of date has its place and purpose.
 

WhitePimp

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I like the action date first, because to be honest, traditional dates bore the hell out of me. If the girl sucks, at least I'm doing something fun and can bail out when I want, not when the check comes.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Obsidian

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i think walk-around dates (park, zoo, fair, etc.) are usually a nice balance between action and inaction. Your right; imo, true action dates are kinda hard to pull off. You could do one of those and combine it with coffee and you'll probably be golden.

Personally, I kinda like eating out myself so I'd just as soon do that, but it's not quite as manly or creative as the above options.

movies and watching tv/dvds are the best for kino, tho. It's good to throw one of those into the mix before too long.
 

COD

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I THINK BY ACTION...he means other than sittign and talking. Playing pool, miniature golf, darts......SOMTHING WHERE U CAN tease and be playful.

The key is to make it fun so when you are NOT with her everytime she thinks of you she recalls doing fun things.

m
 

Skytzo_Marc

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In my personal experience... action dates do work well. I took my girl jogging once and when we came back she was all over me.
 

Alphamale1821

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The truth is in most cases if your having a good time and there is some attraction there then 9 times out of 10 the chick will also have a good time and things will go smoothly. Unless the chick is like totally opposed to go do some outdoor activity or something. It really all depends on "your energy" and the chick your with.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Being_the_Don

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:D
COD said:
I THINK BY ACTION...he means other than sittign and talking. Playing pool, miniature golf, darts......SOMTHING WHERE U CAN tease and be playful.

The key is to make it fun so when you are NOT with her everytime she thinks of you she recalls doing fun things.

m

Exactly. :D
 
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