"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Action Dates

Being_the_Don

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To set the Don Juan apart from other guys The Book of Pook emphasizes that guys should take women on action dates, so does DeAngelo. But in my experience women still prefer the movies and dinner dates. When I'm approaching a woman and we're hitting it off I offer to go to the park or cycling. But they want to meet for coffee instead, or eat out then a movie. Even when I have a woman out on a lunch date or something I get bored just talking and invite her to do something else. I ask if she likes to work out or play some kind of sport-nothing heavy, though. Usually it's an "I like to watch movies or TV" kind of thing. Up to this point they don't like to do anything physically challenging. Even before I came to sosuave I had this experience with women I used to go out with. It's always about movies, going to the mall or eating at her place or a restaurant. And these aren't what you'd call lazy, ugly couch potato women. They definitely qualify as attractive and intelligent but they don't like to do the things I like to do. So I get tired of it and then it degrades into arguments or me just not talking to them or them not talking to me.

I think that women who like sports or outdoors activities prefer it be from the spectator side. A picnic in the park but no Frisbee. :( I can only sit still so long. And eventually I do run out of things to talk about.

How many of you guys really get women you first meet to go on an action date? How do you get a woman you're having dinner with to go cycling on the next date?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Themanthatcan

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This is what you do. To get an action date, tell her your going somewhere ( whether shes coming or not) and if she'd like to come along she can.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I've never been a fan of the action date as the first date; personally I think it's as bad as a movie, just a deflection from having to entertain one another. Unless the purpose of going out is to just have a companion to join you at the event, action dates aren't all that good to get to know one another (which women who are truly interested would want to do).

I've found that women who prefer dinner and a movie as a first date are usually more interested in going out than in you personally. Hey, if they don't feel the chemistry it's not a entire loss, at least they got fed and saw a show.

Guys on the other hand want to show their value by a display of prowess at some event. Unfortunately more times than not it comes off as some type of competition with the woman (at least in her eyes) and she finishes the event feeling less than competent (yeah, that'll attract her to you).

So on a first date I avoid elaborate things. I keep it simple and just meet over coffee (even [especially] if they suggest dinner). I hear so often that guys aren't conversationalist and get bored during a simple coffee date but I ask, would you want to spend time with (heaven forbid date) someone that bores you?
 

Dark Chivalry

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Women who want to compete with you on a date are bad apples in my opinion. If they want to be men they can grow some nuts and a beard. A lot of women want to be able to show off their looks in a dress and heels on a first date, thats why they like dinner. That can be good if you know you like talking to the girl and want to get to know her better. As Francisco said, if she is a stranger, coffee is best because you are not waisting your time or money. If you can't think of anything to say you need to work on your conversational skills.

If you do the dinner thing, forget about movies, but take her dancing instead, or just have a few drinks after dinner.

As for action dates, light sports like golf, badminton, frisbee or walk around activities like the zoo, going to a dance workshop are fun for both sexes and you can still talk while engaging in the action. Heavier activity dates that include acts of dearing-do are for you to show off your bravery and be the man that guides and protects the little woman who is a bit afraid of heights and spiders or has trouble carrying her backpack. If you know your date is not a feminista, this can bring out the masculine/feminine dynamic nicely.

Each sort of date has its place and purpose.
 

WhitePimp

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I like the action date first, because to be honest, traditional dates bore the hell out of me. If the girl sucks, at least I'm doing something fun and can bail out when I want, not when the check comes.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Obsidian

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i think walk-around dates (park, zoo, fair, etc.) are usually a nice balance between action and inaction. Your right; imo, true action dates are kinda hard to pull off. You could do one of those and combine it with coffee and you'll probably be golden.

Personally, I kinda like eating out myself so I'd just as soon do that, but it's not quite as manly or creative as the above options.

movies and watching tv/dvds are the best for kino, tho. It's good to throw one of those into the mix before too long.
 

COD

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I THINK BY ACTION...he means other than sittign and talking. Playing pool, miniature golf, darts......SOMTHING WHERE U CAN tease and be playful.

The key is to make it fun so when you are NOT with her everytime she thinks of you she recalls doing fun things.

m
 

Skytzo_Marc

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In my personal experience... action dates do work well. I took my girl jogging once and when we came back she was all over me.
 

Alphamale1821

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The truth is in most cases if your having a good time and there is some attraction there then 9 times out of 10 the chick will also have a good time and things will go smoothly. Unless the chick is like totally opposed to go do some outdoor activity or something. It really all depends on "your energy" and the chick your with.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Being_the_Don

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:D
COD said:
I THINK BY ACTION...he means other than sittign and talking. Playing pool, miniature golf, darts......SOMTHING WHERE U CAN tease and be playful.

The key is to make it fun so when you are NOT with her everytime she thinks of you she recalls doing fun things.

m

Exactly. :D
 
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