Acquisition of New Members and Evolving Ideas

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

New people, new challenges, new information, new solutions.

This is not a sequence, this is a cycle; I suspect, many of the older members here have saw others come and go, yet their contributions live on for others to benefit from.

As the Black Pill has so flown in our faces, for those exposed to the idea, all men are not equal and neither are their problems, but neither is the will to find solutions... Truthfully, it is the minority of contributions that the majority of us benefit from.

Point blank, this community is too in your face and confrontational, when it comes to new members laying their problems at our feet. I'm not saying I am not a part of this either, but without the Person reading, having the actual life experience to make connections through, everything here might as well be nonsense... Us just football piling onto each others sentiments with likes, I know you all might think it's a good look, but it doesn't breed an environment of challenging ideas, it breeds an environment of... Kinda like an old boys club and some might disagree and that's OK.

What we need here, is a section where we're not able to like each others posts, nor are we able to post gigantic swathing posts; we have a place to do that, or places... We need a place where we can develop a Culture.

Alpha Male Strategies calls it a purpose... Like we put such an emphasis on not being available, yet all we talk about is game and anything else is on a volunteer basis... Our purposes should be in each other's faces a lot more than our theory on game.

However, with the involvement of personal details and information, even on a surface level, it creates issues.

What we really need, is almost like a terrarium, removed from all the ideas of game, a place where your purpose is talked about more than your game, or maybe the hurdles between you and your purpose.

There should always be a beta here, a black pill, purple pill, maybe not tainting the ideas of game, but even just being exposed to a new purpose or... Time filler, I dare say, for some.

The game threads have gotten too preachy, we have members here who have a lot to say, yet the same things are being said, then new members come and say the same things, we respond in kind, like the post, maybe respond, then move on.

Your purpose, is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more important than your knowledge of game; without it, the knowledge of game has no base, like you get hit up with red pill truths, no purpose, black pill is an easy way out, self development is not easy.

Purpose should be instilled in new members long before any ideas of game.

I think we need a section solely dedicated to Purpose/Self Development, where we all maintain diaries that newer members will be exposed to, and where newer members are implored to begin their own purpose, or record that purpose. No likes, easily digestible posts that aren't rants or long winded, almost like more of a record/capturing than a subforum. Restrict new members access for maybe 10 posts to this subforum alone so they are encouraged to record their own and comment/be exposed to the purposes of others.

If they have no purpose, game theory is just that, a theory, when we all know this sheet is facts, but it's really a subjective thing based on your availability.

Also, I need a So Suave watermark for the Memes so people know where the ideas associated with the memes came from, once I begin to post them on other forums... Got a few decent ones so far but most are trash, need more work.

 

[FraUnderRadaren]

It would be nice if the vibe of this forum was much like the old Stylelife forum. It had fantastic content and the members there were generally good about helping others. But unfortunately, they were so helpful that people left the forum and all that was left were keyboard warriors and lost newbies.

 

[Serenity]

In the seven years that I've personally been here this forum has kept about the same level of activity. Some leave and new guys come in, some of those stay for a long while and some of those get their advice without returning. I don't think this is going to change anytime soon.

The "like" system has both advantages and disadvantages. It highlights what many of us agree on, things that despite our other differences rings true about game. Some let fake internet points go to their head, they push the boundaries thinking they're so high value they can do what they want and then get banned anyways. That's really the most prominent issue with likes, some egos can't handle it.

The same things are said over and over again simply because it's the truth. It's often challenged, but it keeps ending on the same conclusions.

This forum is fine for self-development, but when you have most of it figured out there's not much else to add to it. Why change a recipe that works great?

 

[Romanemp22]

I knew about SoSuave for 4 yrs yet only in August I became a member. I generally like it, I like the idea of all of us helping each other, giving advices about women, fitness etc. Also, I noticed that there are no trolls here, so it's very serious group of people.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

In the seven years that I've personally been here this forum has kept about the same level of activity. Some leave and new guys come in, some of those stay for a long while and some of those get their advice without returning. I don't think this is going to change anytime soon.

The "like" system has both advantages and disadvantages. It highlights what many of us agree on, things that despite our other differences rings true about game. Some let fake internet points go to their head, they push the boundaries thinking they're so high value they can do what they want and then get banned anyways. That's really the most prominent issue with likes, some egos can't handle it.

The same things are said over and over again simply because it's the truth. It's often challenged, but it keeps ending on the same conclusions.

This forum is fine for self-development, but when you have most of it figured out there's not much else to add to it. Why change a recipe that works great?

Well let me play Devil's Advocate, would the idea of staying largely the same be sufficient for your own self development?

 

[Black Widow Void]

This community, just like other communities (unfortunately) has a lot of group-think.

Some feel so inadequate in their lives that they only way they can feel some 'importance' is to wait for a new member and thump that ole chest. And if he's a long time regular, the group-thinkers will weigh in and before long, there's this mob mentality against the new member.

Personally, I've been a member for about ten years (though much more active in the past year or so). It's actually better than it was a couple of years ago. Back then, it seemed like nearly every posting contained a cliche such as "your princes is in another man's castle" or "your'e a beta" or "you're not alpha."

My guess is that when some of the old-timers around here were new, they were pounced upon. And then, once they felt 'established' they took it upon themselves to do the same to future new members. In my opinion, these are the lowest common denominators; instead of changing the atmosphere, they perpetuate the negativity.

 

[Serenity]

Well let me play Devil's Advocate, would the idea of staying largely the same be sufficient for your own self development?

Sure, if I'm satisfied being that guy. Self development is for when I'm not satisfied. I mean, there's always a bit of passive development going on anyways.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

I’ve been here 5 years next month. I often start my posts with the above statement for several reasons:

1. Full disclosure that I am female, especially for the newbies.
2. Tongue in cheek acknowledgment that I am older, since I am sometimes ribbed for that (and that I don’t care - time will come for us all sooner or later).
3. That because I am older I have a little life experience under my belt that I enjoy sharing in order to benefit men.

I like being here. When I first showed up there weren’t likes etc. You just posted and went from there. I have a son. He’s in university now. If anything happens to me one of the things he will get is my user name and this web address. He can read what I have said and what you guys have said. He can benefit from all that. In time I will introduce him here. It’s a double edged sword in some ways for the very young in that it risks jading very young men based on others’ experiences. In my opinion that happened with ITDG as he came of age and the jadedness he developed from being here was to his detriment and something he now must overcome.

I try to be direct and strident but kind. Many men who stumble in here do so in a most disillusioned way and time. They arrive with broken paradigms and worldviews...and they are angry and understandably so.

I have found good men here generally. Men striving to be better men. I spend time here as I do because the world needs more real men. Women need more real men. So I consider being here at all a part of my purpose, which is to encourage, uplift and help but yet not sugarcoat men in their own development.

And yeah I’m a chick and yeah I catch heat a bit for being here. It’s a male space and I’m kind of an interloper in that sense.

But I know that from time to time something I share resonates with someone, helps someone...and sometimes things you guys say are tremendously helpful to me.

I’m glad this forum is here. A wonderful outpost for masculinity and the encouragement of masculinity.

Cheers Gents, BE

 

[Spaz]

New people, new challenges, new information, new solutions.

This is not a sequence, this is a cycle; I suspect, many of the older members here have saw others come and go, yet their contributions live on for others to benefit from.

As the Black Pill has so flown in our faces, for those exposed to the idea, all men are not equal and neither are their problems, but neither is the will to find solutions... Truthfully, it is the minority of contributions that the majority of us benefit from.

Point blank, this community is too in your face and confrontational, when it comes to new members laying their problems at our feet. I'm not saying I am not a part of this either, but without the Person reading, having the actual life experience to make connections through, everything here might as well be nonsense... Us just football piling onto each others sentiments with likes, I know you all might think it's a good look, but it doesn't breed an environment of challenging ideas, it breeds an environment of... Kinda like an old boys club and some might disagree and that's OK.

What we need here, is a section where we're not able to like each others posts, nor are we able to post gigantic swathing posts; we have a place to do that, or places... We need a place where we can develop a Culture.

Alpha Male Strategies calls it a purpose... Like we put such an emphasis on not being available, yet all we talk about is game and anything else is on a volunteer basis... Our purposes should be in each other's faces a lot more than our theory on game.

However, with the involvement of personal details and information, even on a surface level, it creates issues.

What we really need, is almost like a terrarium, removed from all the ideas of game, a place where your purpose is talked about more than your game, or maybe the hurdles between you and your purpose.

There should always be a beta here, a black pill, purple pill, maybe not tainting the ideas of game, but even just being exposed to a new purpose or... Time filler, I dare say, for some.

The game threads have gotten too preachy, we have members here who have a lot to say, yet the same things are being said, then new members come and say the same things, we respond in kind, like the post, maybe respond, then move on.

Your purpose, is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more important than your knowledge of game; without it, the knowledge of game has no base, like you get hit up with red pill truths, no purpose, black pill is an easy way out, self development is not easy.

Purpose should be instilled in new members long before any ideas of game.

I think we need a section solely dedicated to Purpose/Self Development, where we all maintain diaries that newer members will be exposed to, and where newer members are implored to begin their own purpose, or record that purpose. No likes, easily digestible posts that aren't rants or long winded, almost like more of a record/capturing than a subforum. Restrict new members access for maybe 10 posts to this subforum alone so they are encouraged to record their own and comment/be exposed to the purposes of others.

If they have no purpose, game theory is just that, a theory, when we all know this sheet is facts, but it's really a subjective thing based on your availability.

Also, I need a So Suave watermark for the Memes so people know where the ideas associated with the memes came from, once I begin to post them on other forums... Got a few decent ones so far but most are trash, need more work.

It's because ur mindset is wrong.

Game doesn't exist because it's not sustainable.

What matters is only frame, in everything.

Frame = Ur inherent personality/childhood teachings + how you think + how u do things = results in real life.

Go ahead and figure that one out.

 

[Georgepithyou]

This is probably one of the last mens dating forums left on the internet, a Lot have been taken down or are just inactive.

I came Here after the roosh forums changed and I haven't looked back since, very few if any trolls here and the mods do a good job as well.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Sure, if I'm satisfied being that guy. Self development is for when I'm not satisfied. I mean, there's always a bit of passive development going on anyways.

This is probably one of the last mens dating forums left on the internet, a Lot have been taken down or are just inactive.

I came Here after the roosh forums changed and I haven't looked back since, very few if any trolls here and the mods do a good job as well.

The Red Pill is beginning to blow up, there will be new sites, new forums, self development will become the most important idea for men to adopt in the coming years, just because there is no competition now, it will not stay that way, we need to get a head of it and give people a place to record their development.

 

[Roober]

Most new members are given loads of advice. The issue arises while the deprogramming is taking place. It's difficult and it takes time.

The defense mechanisms which induce people to hold onto what they know to be true is a difficult beast to slay. Some will overtly claim to to be fighting, while committing to actions that are completely contradictory to their words. This is when it goes bad for some giving advice. There is very little tolerance for incongruence between "I'm improving" and someone who is not really putting in the work.

Its the same in real life as well. It's the same with politics. It's the same with many new and exciting things in life.

I would attribute it mostly to how easy out loves have become. People want certainty, and they will stay in a cage even if you left the door open.

SS strikes me as a "tough love" approach, and I think we could all use some more of that.

 

[bat soup]

I think we should set up a new forum for medical advice. It would be fun. I can't wait to see post such as "paracetamol is for pusssies" and "all you need is an alpha mindset to recover from any disease".

 

[bat soup]

LOL. An “alpha” mindset will cure a man of nothing. In fact, “alpha/beta” is a ridiculous concept. Masculine/feminine is a better mindset, though still lacking and useless to a man who’s mind is formulated and wired for the gynocentric reality.

I agree, I think that whole concept is toxic because it's based on the idea that you're not good enough as you are and you have to become (or pretend to be) some kind of thug in order to appeal to women.

It's indeed true that some dizzy messed-up women do like thugs, but that doesn't mean that the solution is to become one.

 

[bat soup]

Every man breathing, has in him, the capacity of kings because king’s blood (DNA) is already in him. Every single person in his lineage survived long enough to procreate. He has “alpha” blood in him.

He was raised in a world of shyt.

A lesson most people learn when growing up is that instead of trying to fit in and become one of the cool kids by being just like everyone else, you need to find people that share your interests and that you naturally get along with. A lot of PUA advice seems to be aimed at trying to mould everyone into becoming a certain type of guy, rather than finding the women that actually appreciate you for who you are.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Some brotherly love for OP:

I've been on and off this site for 15 years. Was on a 9-year hiatus then came back in 2017.

I can say the mods do a good job of weeding out the belligerent a-holes (if anyone remembers BigNeil) and the pathetically lost and obstinate (BigDave, BigGoals). I guess having "Big" in your screen name is a warning sign.

I give tough advice. Period. Like @BeExcellent, I'm probably older than most on this forum. Some young bucks who come here can't take it. That's fine. Life is tough and unfair and romance is a rough sport. But you can be successful if you put in the work and get out of your own way. This applies to life and/or women.

I got the sense OP is probably a Millenial or Gen Z guy looking for "softer" advice. I'm early Gen X and have a hard work "take your lumps and learn and grow mentality." Much different than Gen Y or Z, who were largely, sheltered, coddled, and over-protected. Not all of course, but many. Just my observation.

If anyone likes or knows the NFL, look up Walter Payton. He was never the biggest, strongest, or fastest. BUT, he out-worked everyone, including those with more talent, to be the GOAT.

There are sites for softer advice. Those can try loveshack.com or there are MANY female dating boards out there. Women love giving dating advice, if that's your thing.

Women are still attracted to the same few qualities in men now that they were 1000s of years ago. Don't blame LMS or SMV or social media or apps for your dating and female woes. Losers blame others. Winners suck it up, learn, and push through it. Figure out your plan; in life and women. There is no one size fits all.

So I will continue to give tough advice to those who request it. At any point, if you don't like it, block me please. I'm a tough "coach" that has high standards, and you should too.

So for you guys who whine, are easily offended, or blame, or won't put in the hard work, please don't waste my time and I won't waste yours.

Happy hunting.

Dash

 

[samspade]

OP, having a section to discuss your purpose or mission isn't a bad idea. But there's already a Wealth and Success section and an Anything Else section. Plus I think a lot of guys don't like to get too into specifics because they want to stay anonymous. Personally, I keep a couple of private message threads going with users whose opinions I hold in high regard, based on their postings here.

BTW I've been a lurker since 2000 and on this account since '08. I think I've gotten mellower in my feedback with age. You're right, this isn't paint by numbers, BUT there are some very important principles taught here that one won't find elsewhere. There's also a variety of opinion, which I think is cool. Nobody has all the answers, and I like reading other dudes' thoughts.

I think sometimes there's a process users go through. Newbies are lost and full of questions. Then you see pseudo-newbies who turn around and start giving amateur advice because they are reading the DJ Bible. Next you have guys that have just finished reading The Rational Male etc., and they sound like preachers going on about biological imperatives and hypergamy and other eye-popping words.

And you have guys who have done the learning and the reps (with girls or what have you). They've blazed a trail of successes and failures in different spheres. These guys usually give terrific advice, and it's take-it-or-leave-it. They don't claim to be always right but they can say for sure what's worked for them. Off the top of my head, @Dash Riprock , @Glassguy and @cola are three dudes whose posts are usually spot on. There are many more.

Most of us try to be empathetic with newbies because a lot of us have been there. I don't think it's too "confrontational." BUT, some blue pilled dudes NEED a kick in the a$$, that's for sure. We all need one sometimes. And by the way, if you don't see ideas being challenged here, look closer.

TL;DR this place has always been about self-development, and there are plenty of varying opinions.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Most new members are given loads of advice. The issue arises while the deprogramming is taking place. It's difficult and it takes time.

The defense mechanisms which induce people to hold onto what they know to be true is a difficult beast to slay. Some will overtly claim to to be fighting, while committing to actions that are completely contradictory to their words. This is when it goes bad for some giving advice. There is very little tolerance for incongruence between "I'm improving" and someone who is not really putting in the work.

Its the same in real life as well. It's the same with politics. It's the same with many new and exciting things in life.

I would attribute it mostly to how easy out loves have become. People want certainty, and they will stay in a cage even if you left the door open.

SS strikes me as a "tough love" approach, and I think we could all use some more of that.

Well only 1% would accept the red pill, it's basically accepting that everything you have been taught to believe up until now as a big fat lie.

That's a vwry hard pill for most to swallow, and an even smaller percentage who take that pill go onto self improvment and applying it to dating strategies which is where forums like this come into play.

You gotta have thick skin and patience to survive here

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Some brotherly love for OP:

I've been on and off this site for 15 years. Was on a 9-year hiatus then came back in 2017.

I can say the mods do a good job of weeding out the belligerent a-holes (if anyone remembers BigNeil) and the pathetically lost and obstinate (BigDave, BigGoals). I guess having "Big" in your screen name is a warning sign.

I give tough advice. Period. Like @BeExcellent, I'm probably older than most on this forum. Some young bucks who come here can't take it. That's fine. Life is tough and unfair and romance is a rough sport. But you can be successful if you put in the work and get out of your own way. This applies to life and/or women.

I got the sense OP is probably a Millenial or Gen Z guy looking for "softer" advice. I'm early Gen X and have a hard work "take your lumps and learn and grow mentality." Much different than Gen Y or Z, who were largely, sheltered, coddled, and over-protected. Not all of course, but many. Just my observation.

If anyone likes or knows the NFL, look up Walter Payton. He was never the biggest, strongest, or fastest. BUT, he out-worked everyone, including those with more talent, to be the GOAT.

There are sites for softer advice. Those can try loveshack.com or there are MANY female dating boards out there. Women love giving dating advice, if that's your thing.

Women are still attracted to the same few qualities in men now that they were 1000s of years ago. Don't blame LMS or SMV or social media or apps for your dating and female woes. Losers blame others. Winners suck it up, learn, and push through it. Figure out your plan; in life and women. There is no one size fits all.

So I will continue to give tough advice to those who request it. At any point, if you don't like it, block me please. I'm a tough "coach" that has high standards, and you should too.

So for you guys who whine, are easily offended, or blame, or won't put in the hard work, please don't waste my time and I won't waste yours.

Happy hunting.

Dash

You have missed the point, it isn't about feelings, it is about accessibility, authenticity and purpose, having a record of our self development, it is a deeper solution than just learning game, it's a solution for those who don't want to put the work in.

Self Development is going to blow up, it's an idea devoid in most of men today until they are forced to default, then they make the choice to die or improve.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

By the way, quoting how long you've been a member here for, I don't understand the point, we are in unprecedented times, yet approaching these times the same way.

This thread isn't about you or me, or the mods, you can make it about that if you feel that is what it is, but I feel people are going to run with that narrative because the deeper narrative of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" is being challenged and you have no response to it other than "I've been a member for this long..." That's pretty cool, but you'll end up coming and going just like the rest of us, your own Kool-Aid is supposed to taste good, you made it to suit your tastes.