"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Aching body after consistent strength workouts

anonymous12345

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I’ve been doing StrongLifts (standard, basic exercises) 3 times per week for 3 months, and gradually I’ve gotten a body that is aching like an old man. Legs and shoulders, primarily. I’m not stiff, but it’s a kind of aching that I’m unused to. It doesn’t feel like the muscle soreness we all have after a good workout. It also sustained while I was away for a week and didn’t workout.

I haven’t before been doing this kind of strength workout where I’m pushing my limits, though. I’m 37, so I’d say it’s too early to have an aching body because of age.

My solution is to stretch more, never been doing that. Hence I’ve started with yoga, definitely less agile than the seniors there.

Is the aching I describe normal, and what to do about it?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Gamisch

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- visit physiotherapy
- use foam roller
- incorporate more body parts such as arms, back, biceps triceps, abbs ect. This way your shoulders and legs can get more days rest.
- warm up and cool down properly
- check your diet for the right nutrition.
- switch it up by having some days where you try more reps with lower weights.
-follow a program. If needed get a fitness coach.
- be extremely knowledgeable about what you're doing .
-check if your technique is ( rock) solid.

Take smaller steps to get gains. You rushing it now, and rush it some more by starting yoga, but in 2 months you may be back to square one way less motivated and practically physically traumatized.

First bullet point is the most important tho. If you have tears in your muscles yoga might actually make it worse.(Yoga and weight lifting isn't neccesarily complementary, two different animals)

I'll repeat, VISIT YOUR DOCTOR.
 

EyeBRollin

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Normal.

The Stronglifts Program indeed takes a lot out of you. If you aren’t getting 8 hours of sleep and 3,000+ calories your body will feel it. Especially for men 30+.

What I did to the program is reduce to 3X5, then to 3X3 instead of 5X5. The load is too much for natural athletes at 5X5 once the weight gets heavy. Also, listen to your body. Take an extra day rest day between workouts as needed.

What you are experiencing with prolonged aching is that your body cannot recover from the workouts fast enough.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I’ve been doing StrongLifts (standard, basic exercises) 3 times per week for 3 months, and gradually I’ve gotten a body that is aching like an old man. Legs and shoulders, primarily. I’m not stiff, but it’s a kind of aching that I’m unused to. It doesn’t feel like the muscle soreness we all have after a good workout. It also sustained while I was away for a week and didn’t workout.

I haven’t before been doing this kind of strength workout where I’m pushing my limits, though. I’m 37, so I’d say it’s too early to have an aching body because of age.

My solution is to stretch more, never been doing that. Hence I’ve started with yoga, definitely less agile than the seniors there.

Is the aching I describe normal, and what to do about it?
8 weeks of heavy lifting at a time without at least a month off with lighter weights is the max you should be doing. You are burning out your Central Nervous System.
 

anonymous12345

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Quick note: I've had gains from StrongLifts: others say I'm more V-shaped, ask if I've lost weight, and I'm pretty sure I can confirm it myself. Should have taken photos, will start now. My weight is pretty much the same but it's as if I've gained muscle mass while losing fat. Stronglifts.com talk a lot about the advantages of squats, which I've been doing according to the program, but maybe I just have lucky genes.

Have had a lot of focus on technique, primarily to avoid injuries. Lately I de-loaded a lot (15 kg) because by video I saw I didn't squat properly, didn't break parallell. So, this time properly.

I eat healthy food, though definitely not 3000+ calories. I eat one large meal per day, though I eat when I'm hungry. Beyond the large meal a lot of vegetables and high fiber müsli. I don't starve or so, it feels natural. Stronglifts.com emphasise one Will gain fat if one wants to gain muscle, and I kind of like my current relatively low-fat profile, but still ok muscles. Many "strong" guys have that saggy, fatty look. I would consider it a down trade.

I haven't been lifting that heavy I would say. The program started very low/easily, and ramped up, it's more recently that I've been reaching what looks like a plateau. I guess I'm investigating how the plateau is like.

So maybe it's restitution, essentially, as you say. I don't feel tired or a need for resting, beyond this aching. My sleep is an absolute mess, but I spend a lot of time at rest/not stressing. Should I hurl food even if I'm not hungry for it? Eat more calories instead of fiber/vegetables?

Many people work out consistently, without taking longer breaks/low periods. Never heard about that before. What's the elaboration behind burning out the central nervous system?

I don't see how yoga is demanding. It's some stretching and listening to plink plonk music. No big deal?
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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BackInTheGame78

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Quick note: I've had gains from StrongLifts: others say I'm more V-shaped, ask if I've lost weight, and I'm pretty sure I can confirm it myself. Should have taken photos, will start now. My weight is pretty much the same but it's as if I've gained muscle mass while losing fat. Stronglifts.com talk a lot about the advantages of squats, which I've been doing according to the program, but maybe I just have lucky genes.

Have had a lot of focus on technique, primarily to avoid injuries. Lately I de-loaded a lot (15 kg) because by video I saw I didn't squat properly, didn't break parallell. So, this time properly.

I eat healthy food, though definitely not 3000+ calories. I eat one large meal per day, though I eat when I'm hungry. Beyond the large meal a lot of vegetables and high fiber müsli. I don't starve or so, it feels natural. Stronglifts.com emphasise one Will gain fat if one wants to gain muscle, and I kind of like my current relatively low-fat profile, but still ok muscles. Many "strong" guys have that saggy, fatty look. I would consider it a down trade.

I haven't been lifting that heavy I would say. The program started very low/easily, and ramped up, it's more recently that I've been reaching what looks like a plateau. I guess I'm investigating how the plateau is like.

So maybe it's restitution, essentially, as you say. I don't feel tired or a need for resting, beyond this aching. My sleep is an absolute mess, but I spend a lot of time at rest/not stressing. Should I hurl food even if I'm not hungry for it? Eat more calories instead of fiber/vegetables?

Many people work out consistently, without taking longer breaks/low periods. Never heard about that before. What's the elaboration behind burning out the central nervous system?

I don't see how yoga is demanding. It's some stretching and listening to plink plonk music. No big deal?
If you think yoga isn't tough then try doing it...you'll quickly change your tune just like I did when my trainer made me do it to enhance flexibility since my muscles were getting too short and limiting range of motion, growth and contributing to injuries.

Pilates as well...both are much harder than they look, even when doing beginner moves. The advanced stuff I don't even bother trying, I don't have the flexibility for it and it also requires tremendous body control and strength.

Those reformer machines at Pilate studios should be renamed torture machines...used to go twice a month and the 3 other women in the group had to stifle their snickering laughs when I was nearly crying on that machine as it pulls your limbs and stretches them in ways mine didn't want to go at first...

It helped quite a bit tho...went from basically only being able to reach halfway down my shins when I bent down to try and touch the ground to being almost able to put my palms on the floor...couldn't quite get there...was able to get the area right at the base of my fingers on the ground but couldn't press the palm base down flat.
 
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FlexpertHamilton

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Stronglifts is honestly absurd...i'm not a fan. I'd suggest Madcow 5x5 or Texas Method as an alternative, but especially the former.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Absurd in what way?
Volume is too high, literally has you doing 75 reps with heavy barbells. And the weight progression is even more absurd, only genetic freaks can add 5lbs per week to all their major compound lifts. The deloading protocol just doesn't seem very effective either.
 

typical

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Normal.

The Stronglifts Program indeed takes a lot out of you. If you aren’t getting 8 hours of sleep and 3,000+ calories your body will feel it. Especially for men 30+.

What I did to the program is reduce to 3X5, then to 3X3 instead of 5X5. The load is too much for natural athletes at 5X5 once the weight gets heavy. Also, listen to your body. Take an extra day rest day between workouts as needed.

What you are experiencing with prolonged aching is that your body cannot recover from the workouts fast enough.
38 years old now and I cannot do 5x5's anymore. Ask me to run/cycle/row/sail for 8 hours each day and that's easy, 5x5 is absolute killer, I too only do 3x5 with moderate/heavy row/spin/swim sessions daily now ............. I will not lose my abs having stopped competing :D

edit: yes I know you dont get abs from cardio but from diet .... 20+ years of sports I think it's a mental conditioning thing.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

anonymous12345

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I read about plateau in the doc, it was fairly good. Basically to deload, switch to 3×5/3×3/1×3 when 5x5 is too much, which will happen (and kinda do for me it seems). See:

But there's also a psychological aspect to it. As I see it, no matter what it's gonna get messy since it involves failing, so it will be "failing" and a lot of uphill, one just needs to be the best equipped for it, mentally and knowledge wise. For us that don't do maintenance workouts.
 

redskinsfan92

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Change it up with more bodyweight workouts for a while
 

BackInTheGame78

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38 years old now and I cannot do 5x5's anymore. Ask me to run/cycle/row/sail for 8 hours each day and that's easy, 5x5 is absolute killer, I too only do 3x5 with moderate/heavy row/spin/swim sessions daily now ............. I will not lose my abs having stopped competing :D

edit: yes I know you dont get abs from cardio but from diet .... 20+ years of sports I think it's a mental conditioning thing.
You assuredly could. At age 40 and 41 I was doing Gironda 8x8's twice a day for 6 weeks at a time, pro football player workouts(which were insanely difficult), and an assortment of other things that made people think I was crazy. All of this while wearing a 60lb weighted vest.

5x5's would have been a warmup in comparison.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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RBK

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Stretching and yoga can go a long way. Your body needs maintenance after these type of lifts in my opinion.
 

anonymous12345

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An update from OP:

I started eating more and the aching and tense body disappeared. I also got back at proper form. My body got simply weak from being under nourished.
 
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