"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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According to some the dating market is completely trashed.

pelvischestly

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If the market is completely trashed how as men of knowledge do you fix it. Or do you want the market to stay "trashed" so you can finger point at everyone else but yourself as the "problem". It's one thing to sit around and talk about something is broken over and over yet be useless when it comes to fixing it, while doing nothing but complaining about it being unrepairable and a whole other thing to be the man who actually repairs things to use.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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devilkingx2

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it can't be fixed without a culture shift, but the market is only trashed if you're looking for something that isn't in the market.
 

resilient

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OP, the onus is on the individual to accept personal responsibility for one's actions. Sitting around and talking as you say helps us to develop a perspective on the market. Whether or not it is "trashed" is reserved for the judgment of the individual.

We aren't going to go out and change the brokenness over night.

We can't change others. We can only guide ourselves to the best of our ability to accept or ignore (or monitor our personal investment) in situations (or people) we choose to associate with.

We aren't perfect. We're human. We're going to make mistakes. Hopefully through those mistakes... we reach wisdom with maturity.

We influence the market in a positive direction through our interpersonal growth and living by example.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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It is if you think of it as a 'market'.

But people are people, whatever the economists may think.

And then you have a choice; will you calibrate your behavior to the norm, or will you pursue excellence?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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