"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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aaaah damn it

Moneytalks

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I've known a girl, we'll call her Toni because that's her name, for 2 years. I hadn't seen her for about a year until Tuesday but we'd spoken a few times a week, most weeks and everyday other weeks (if only briefly) on the phone, MSN or by text message. Most of it's just the kind of inane chitter chatter friends do with the odd bit of flirting thrown in. We've spoken about visiting each other before but thought it better not to. This time I thought "**** it. I'm closer now so I may as well".

I've had feelings for her for just over a year, and I know she had feeling for me at the same time but she'd moved away by the time she told me.

I went to see her on Tuesday, got there at 11:30pm and by 1:30am (after sitting in her kitchen and nearly fighting with one of her flatmates) we were naked in her bed. By 2:30am, she wanted me to take her virginity. So, I pop it in and it wouldn't fit. Tried all my techniques and it hurt her too much. So we stayed up until about 4 just doing oral sex, having a shower and the like. Then we fell asleep cuddling.

Tuesday morning we woke up and kissed a bit, then just lay in her bed for a few hours, just hugging and talking (sounds gay, but I don't care. It was nice).

Since then I've told her I'd like to go and see her again before I go to basic in 3 weeks and I've suggested I go down in March. She said "can you afford it?" and I said I could (I can) and she said "awesome. Goodnight xxx" and left. Though to be fair, she was leaving anyway and I just wanted to get her opinion quickly. I've told her I like her and have done for a little while.

Things aren't awkward in the slightest (as far as I can see), I just don't know if she's keen to see me again.

Things she said whilst I was there:
"I can't believe you came here just for me"
"I can't believe you're running off to join the navy :( "
"I love your legs" ( :up: )
"I don't want you to leave yet"
Me: "For the next 3 hours, I'm claiming you as my territory"
Her: "Good :)"

I think she has a problem with the idea of getting close to someone then them leaving her-the guy she liked at uni is a Royal Navy officer on something called a cadetship, meaning he's done training and is now getting paid to do a degree before joining the fleet; he's now had to change universities because the Royal Navy told him he had to for his cadetship.

Should I just wait a couple of days before trying to strike up conversation with her again? I'm worried about coming across as needy when really I just like her a lot. :down:

Any other ideas?

Funny story: Walk of shame the next morning. Went into the kitchen in my boxers and said "good morning". Got a funny look and her female flatmate said "you're Toni's...friend".
'er, yeah' I replied.

Turns out her flatmate was having a Student's Church union meeting
:crackup:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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sodbuster

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After sex, call back. You don't need to worry about playing hard to get,it's more to reassure her that this is a relationship. NOw DON"T call every 10 minutes or otherwise blow up her phone. BUT every 2 or 3 days call. IF you are looking for a relationship with 1 girl. If spinning plates, call once a week or less.
It's not all about playing the game,Mystery has serious mental issues-he can screw them,but he can't keep them. So if you follow his advice,you'll get what he has out of life,
 

Moneytalks

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Yes, yes, YES! I'm going to see her a few days before I start basic training :D
 

Pimp-sicle

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Moneytalks said:
Yes, yes, YES! I'm going to see her a few days before I start basic training :D

One-itis is coming and it won't be pretty....




PIMP
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Moneytalks

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At this stage I want 1 girl. I'm leaving for 14 weeks of training after I see her, so there will possibly be pieces to be picked up, but I'm afraid I probably won't be coming here :p
 

Moneytalks

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How is this suicide?

I don't want to shag around at the time being so I'm daft?
 
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