A Word About Success

[Giovanni Casanova]

Have you ever taken Calculus? Even if you haven't, bear with me, I won't give you a math test or anything. I *have* taken calculus. But I didn't start out there. I first had to learn to count. Then, over time, I learned how to add. Then subtract. Soon, it was multiplication and division. Decimals. Fractions. Percentages. Story problems. Geometry. Simple equations. Binomial and trinomial equations. Trig functions. Get the picture yet? You can't just jump from the multiplication and division right into calculus. You start small and eventually end up big.

When you have zero experience with girls, any interaction can be viewed as a success. Imagine that you're so shy that you just can't even think of talking to a girl. Get up your courage and just say "Hi" to a girl. That's a success. Just the simple act of saying hi. Smile, make eye contact. A girl smiles at you? Success. Get comfortable around women. Go up and approach women. Strike up a conversation. Success. Start getting numbers. Success. Get a date. Success. Go for the kiss. Success. I'm sure you're getting the point.

Even the smallest things, like smiling and getting a smile back, are "beginner successes", because you are reaching outside of your normal limitations. You are growing and that is what being a success is all about. Even getting a rejection is a success, because you are now putting yourself on the line and going for it. Getting the rejection is unimportant compared to all of the things that led up to it. If she says, "I'm not interested" or "I have a boyfriend" or "I wouldn't date you in a million years, even if you were the last guy on earth" -- SUCCESS. You did it. You approached her. You found a girl who isn't interested in you, and you're just that much closer to finding one who is. Approaching another girl, after a rejection, is a HUGE success. It proves you can get back in the saddle and you won't let anything hold you down. SUCCESS SUCCESS SUCCESS.

+Special thanks to DeepBlue+




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CASANOVA

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
Lazarus Long

"Woman was God's second mistake."
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

 

[bartender]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova:
Even getting a rejection is a success, because you are now putting yourself on the line and going for it. Getting the rejection is unimportant compared to all of the things that led up to it. If she says, "I'm not interested" or "I have a boyfriend" or "I wouldn't date you in a million years, even if you were the last guy on earth" -- SUCCESS. You did it. You approached her. You found a girl who isn't interested in you

A perfect example of "The truth shall set you free."

 

[Aiken_Drum]

I agree 101 % with you, Casa. Great post! Keep it up!

 

[Bonhomme]

Yes!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

 

[Ledoyen]

there's always something positive in negative things!

 

[Squy]

Originally posted by Ledoyen:
there's always something positive in negative things!

Yes indeed, you can fail a thing and choose:
a: GODDAMN i sucked!, i failed, i fvcked up, now my day is ruined, and you keep whining, being in the bad mood and so on all day. OR
b: Brush the whole ting off after the first shock, then analyse what went wrong, and try to do it better next time. What's done had been done, you cant go back in time and change it, try to have fun the rest of the day.

 

[aussiedj]

loved that post man. I loved that comparison to calculus because i kick ass at calculus.

 

[learningtopimp]

Giovanni,
Your discussion of the rejection is just what I needed after the way things have been in the last few days.

 

[EpsilonArmati]

What if you hate math, flunked Calculus, and barely squeaked a 2 on the Calculus AP? What real life situation does that apply to? Am I... gay?!

 

[Squy]

Let me share with you something about myself:

Before I came to this site, I was straight out intimidate by girls, I couldn't talk to them other than HI, and they were my classmates! No way I could even imagine look them in the eyes, or even touching them, tried to avoid such things at all cost.

Now from your post I would like to make a simple ladder of progression:

1. Get up my courage and just say "HI" to stranger girl.

2. Smile, make eye contact
3. Get comfortable around them, go up and approach them, strike up a conversation. Do kinos
4. Get rejections
5. Start getting number
6. Get a date.
7. Go for the kiss.
8. Do something more intimate than kisses

Right now I am climbing and reaching the level 5 (and 4).

Just want to let you know that

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I'm not saying I'm number one. Ahh I'm sorry I lied, I'm number one, two three four, AND five

Krs1 - Step into a world


- gSQUYrb (goodSQUYreborn)

 

[Challenger]

1. Get up my courage and just say "HI" to stranger girl.

2. Smile, make eye contact
3. Get comfortable around them, go up and approach them, strike up a conversation. Do kinos
4. Get rejections
5. Start getting number
6. Get a date.
7. Go for the kiss.
8. Do something more intimate than kisses

That's a damn good graduation.
I have started with the boot camp and got dozens of smiles and hi's back. (1and2)

I then started basically to kino every girls I know when I got an opportunity. I am still improving here, but I am already better then 90% of me mates in this regard. (3)

I also do approch woman whenever I have the balls, which is not too often, but perhaps 1,2 times in a week. Before, I approched about 1 chick in 4 years

(3)

At the moment I am getting numbers and rejections. But it really seems to be periodly. My first approches were all successes and in the last time I only get rejections which makes me kind of happy because I can grow on these ones and have fun. (4and5)

6. I also to managed to get a few dates but me success rate is still pretty low. Out of 10 women I get 7 numbers and perhaps 2 dates.

I am really looking forward to reach the next steps, as these ones are probably the most terrific ones.

 

[Amlothi]

Originally posted by Challenger:
6. I also to managed to get a few dates but me success rate is still pretty low. Out of 10 women I get 7 numbers and perhaps 2 dates.

I think this is normal. This is about what I get too. Lots of girls will give you there numbers, and I'm realizing that while getting a number can be a sign of interest, it isn't a definite indicator.

SexPDX had a good post somewhere on how we are all too focused on getting numbers.



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"There are no such things as mixed signals when it comes to women, there is reality and what the guy wants to be reality." - Don Phenom

 

[Squy]

Two more levels:

9. Have some real LTR
10. Live with "the one" happy ever.

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"Our only limitations are those we st up in our own minds"
- Napoleon Hill

 

[BMW]

gREAT POST

 

[gtownjuan]

bumpy bump, just digging through the DJ Bible.