A woman's perspective [Mod: Moved from MM]

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Welcome, LadyMD

Haven't read everyone's replies, yet, so forgive me if this has been talked about.

I would have to chime in with a comment about your initial impressions of what this place might be.

By reading most of the everyday drivel posted by some of the less experienced (and often younger) guys on here, the impression you'll get will be quite skewed. I know I shake my head quite often at some of the advice given here.

You need to realize that everyone who visits this site is on a different path, and at different points in the journey.

Many rely on tricks, tactics, alpha male b.s. and various superficial exploits to "pull hot chicks" and get laid. As a younger man, that stuff was exciting but as you get older (I'm soon to be 33yrs old) you really start to come into a place where, as you said, you become a good man.

I am at a point as a matured man where I can walk the line between being masculine, dominant, protective and "alpha" while also being caring, nurturing and genuinely interested in the woman I date, and what she has to say.

Have I been with many women? Yes. I don't think there is anything wrong with exploring one's own sexuality, sharing experiences with someone else and simply playing the field to get a sense for what you like and what you don't like.

At the end of all this, I now have a very strong sense of who I am and what I want from a partner. Had I fallen into the trap of marrying my highschool sweetheart (as many of my friends did) I'd be 12+yrs into what would most likely be a pretty lackluster marriage.

I have reached a point where I am looking to plant my feet and start a family with an exceptional woman. I am grounded and I am not afraid of commitment. The issue is, I hold myself in such high regard and know that I won't settle for anything less than the right woman for me.

This is MY issue. Most of the women I meet fall short. I break it off, once I realize that I don't see myself spending my life with them. Why would I just go along with something, just because we've been dating for a couple of years?

But, at the age of 33, I'm very much UN-interested in adding more notches to my belt. It was never my intentions in the first place, but over the years I've been with many women. I never just ditched them, though. Either we both knew it was a one night stand or something to just enjoy but not get too involved with, or it turned into a long term relationship that eventually ran it's course. No regrets and I shared some amazing times with some amazing women.

It is what made me the man I am today. I've learned compassion and how to simply love people for who and what they are. If I can bless someone's life, even for a night, and they can do the same for me then where is the harm in that?

Again, I reiterate that I'm a matured man, so my views will absolutely not resonate with the late teens and early twenty something guys on here who arepredominantly driven by hormones, the need for "status" and the fear of being discovered for what they truly are, at this stage of their growth and development: BOYS

 

[Cheeks]

LOL at a forum of mature men trying to engage in an intelligent debate with an age 21 feminist atheist.

 

[zekko]

LOL at a forum of mature men trying to engage in an intelligent debate with an age 21 feminist atheist.

We have people thinking the OP is not worth talking to just because she is a woman. Or just because she is 21. Or just because she is a feminist. Or just because she is an atheist.
Some people wanted to deem her not worth talking to because she was a "religious nut", but that was squashed.

It's always interesting to me to see the amount of vitriol spewed every time a woman posts here. Clearly, there are a lot of guys here who are very bitter toward women, and who obviously do not like women at all, no matter how much they like getting into their pants.

For myself, I thought she said a couple of interesting things that I responded to. Whether or not she is "saving herself for marriage" is completely irrelevant to me. She may change her mind at some point as she gets older. In any case, it's her choice.

 

[FrogWife]

I'm a woman, I read this forum every day and find it very helpful and insightful (especially the "Mature Man" forum)... I'm going through a divorce and re-entering the dating scene and it's interesting for me to see that men and women of all ages seem to go through some of the same problems and challenges in dealing with relationships.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Hey guys look! An albino unicorn! And all the white knights said,

"Ooooohh,..see? The ideal Quality Woman really DOES exist! And she really 'gets it' at such a young age too! Wow! You see? Not all women are like that."

and all of the fears they had about their self-righteous ego investments and hopes for the future were finally vindicated and put to rest.

The End.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear All,
I think the style of writing is familiar,as being similar to other dissimulating suspicious posts we have had here.

 

[Maximummax]

LadyMD..You forgot to mention/Add one thing that i would like to listen
Why women spend time and put effort in playing games with men?

 

[backbreaker]

We have people thinking the OP is not worth talking to just because she is a woman. Or just because she is 21. Or just because she is a feminist. Or just because she is an atheist.
Some people wanted to deem her not worth talking to because she was a "religious nut", but that was squashed.

It's always interesting to me to see the amount of vitriol spewed every time a woman posts here. Clearly, there are a lot of guys here who are very bitter toward women, and who obviously do not like women at all, no matter how much they like getting into their pants.

For myself, I thought she said a couple of interesting things that I responded to. Whether or not she is "saving herself for marriage" is completely irrelevant to me. She may change her mind at some point as she gets older. In any case, it's her choice.

it's not the fact that she is a woman. Penkitten post on her for years and no one has a problem with her, in fact she needs to post more often.

But she comes here, spewing her own warped view of what she thinks a man should and should not do, while at the same time putting every man here in the same category, yeah that's going to rub some the wrong way. You can't come here, don't take time to learn the idiosyncrasies of a forum as deep as this one and expect to get away with it. This isn't a video game forum.

To the contrary, some people are showing their true white knight colors by entertaining this woman's thoughts as being half ass serious. If a guy posted this same **** he would be laughed off the forum.

 

[lgbs2004]

OP,

Do you at least give good head?

Yes, but only after the marriage! :crackup:

 

[spider_007]

......I'd love to hear how "right" it is for a woman to be a virgin until married, especially if its not because of religuous mumbo jumbo

There is nothing wrong with her being a virgin till marriage - if she feels that that's right for her. All power to her. Relationship will be built things other then sex. Sex might be crappy when they do it since nether will know what they are doing, but who cares.

 

[samspade]

We have people thinking the OP is not worth talking to just because she is a woman. Or just because she is 21. Or just because she is a feminist. Or just because she is an atheist.
Some people wanted to deem her not worth talking to because she was a "religious nut", but that was squashed.

You are right with this. Just as I pointed out the OP was using the straw man to make her points, so are others using ad hominem attacks. Her arguments should stand or fall on their own merits (or lack thereof). A lot of Christian men buy into the same b.s. as her - that's what this site is all about, changing the way people think.

I'll grant that there's no way a woman can ever truly understand what a man wants (and vice versa), so at some point it boils down to whether or not a person is willing to accept empirical data about human behavior, rather than their own biased opinion based on socio-cultural norms or personal experiences. This site is about throwing away what you think you know and learning from observation, trial, and error. What amazes me about the female sex is that even those whose minds have been rigorously trained for this (MDs, lawyers) STILL fall back on the personal and the emotional when the subjects of relationships, love, and sex arise. That's just the way it is.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

So, show of hands, how many guys here live in a house they bought that they couldn't afford, sight unseen before they signed the title?

The brochure really makes it look so good doesn't it?

 

[sodbuster]

One hint of a woman's inflated value of self comes from her name. Have you been ACCEPTED into med school? GRADUATED? I know several pre- Dental students who weren't accepted and 6 out of 65 in my class {Dental college} who didn't make it out with us{a few came back later and made it the second time}

 

[LadyMD]

The irony is that I actually admired this forum before posting here. I'm not sure what I was thinking. This place is actually full of idiots, many of whom can't spell, and I'm disappointed to see the insecurity and *******ry rather than gleeful. And yes, ad hominem attacks for the win.

Sorry if my username intimidated you or something, but don't concern yourself with my MD prospects. A 38 on the MCAT plus a 3.9 GPA from a top southern UG says I'm in good shape for med school. Maybe you should spend your energy worrying about your own future instead, just a suggestion.

But thanks for playing - feel free to lock this thread or use it to feed your misogyny, I'm done with this place.

 

[synergy1]

what i find interesting was the divergence between the 'expected response' and the 'real response', and how you are unable to cope with reality not fitting the form you had imagined. Here is a fun fact for you: the real world is a lot more than regurgitating rote memory from books and spewing **** on a test. Get used to people acting like this becasue any community will react the same if you decide to barge in with a ' this is how it is' attitude. You are 21. you don't know how it is. I am 10 years older than you are and am barely getting the hang of it.

You might have a 4.0 ( I round up because I am feeling generous today), but you got one thing wrong. Not all of us are misogynists. I love women! they love me! if this was a one question essay test, you might have just failed... so sorry...

 

[samspade]

The irony is that I actually admired this forum before posting here. I'm not sure what I was thinking. This place is actually full of idiots, many of whom can't spell, and I'm disappointed to see the insecurity and *******ry rather than gleeful. And yes, ad hominem attacks for the win.

Sorry if my username intimidated you or something, but don't concern yourself with my MD prospects. A 38 on the MCAT plus a 3.9 GPA from a top southern UG says I'm in good shape for med school. Maybe you should spend your energy worrying about your own future instead, just a suggestion.

But thanks for playing - feel free to lock this thread or use it to feed your misogyny, I'm done with this place.

Education is not intelligence. This much is proven by the OP's ignorance of, among other things, the meaning of "irony."

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I've been reading this forum for the past day and a half,..

And yet oddly you seem to have a complete mastery and understanding of all the concepts and terminologies the manosphere has developed over the last decade. May I be the first to congratulate you on your astounding perceptiveness in so brief a learning period.

It sure is a good thing that you spelled out from the start for us what a womanly exception to the rule you are, otherwise you message of "not all women are like that" might have lost some intellectual impact.

We might have thought you were a man making a lame attempt at feminine identification. That would never do, it might delegitimize your perspective amongst so many obvious misogynists here.


Obvious troll is obvious.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

But thanks for playing - feel free to lock this thread or use it to feed your misogyny, I'm done with this place.

Oh no! We've offended the sensibilities of a rare 'woman' who innocuously joined SoSuave who was telling us how wrong we are about women. Dammit! Just when we were getting to the root of our bitter misogyny.

Now the Mods will lock this thread and she'll never come back to save us from dying lonely old men.

 

[Burroughs]

Pretty women marry doctors.

Ugly women become doctors

 

[lgbs2004]

Good girl gone bad!