One of my girls who I have known for a bit, but not pursued since relationship gaps have never aligned. I kind of put her in the friendzone. Even with that, she has always flirted with me and we do go out together, have beers, play pool. Its occasional dating without the sex and she picks up the check much more often than me. I only do this when I have nothing else to do. There have been a number of times where we were mistaken for a couple (actually asked once when the wedding was). Honestly, I have a great time with her and its fun hanging with a woman that you enjoy without having an end game. She knows what I am about, women wise and we don't discuss current relationships. One of the only things that I require is that people in my circle be straight with me (no BS at all) and the other night, she said a few things that I felt weren't right. I called her on it (not important to the story). Long story short, we had words and I told her that we shouldn't hang together anymore. She ended up leaning on my shoulder with tears streaming. She went to leave, asked for a hug. I refused.
She sent a text late that night saying "This is silly, lets not fight" She sent a few others over the next two days that I ignored. She sent one saying that she wanted to talk. I was heading out and passing by her place so I agreed. Got to her place around 8:30 and she asked if I wanted a beer or wine. She knows good wine, so I chose that. Out came what I know was a $100+ bottle, I'm sure the best that she had. We settled in on her couch, lights dim. Any other girl, I would have been saying: game on. Over the time that it took to kill half the bottle, she quizzed me on my current dating situation and although I didn't bring it up, started filling me in on on hers. Her current guy had staked out her house and confronted her about cheating when she came home ( I happened to know where she was, so false). I changed the subject. So the disagreement came up and it was just a one drink too many misunderstanding. Before anyone goes off. I didn't buy into BS and again is irrelevant except for the fact that I'm sure that she knows that i won't put up with BS. I told her that she should tone down the flirting a bit and she replied that it was me that starts it (complete denial of accountability). The conversation turned here and there to how well we get along, how she feels a connection with me and I could see attraction in her eyes. Some of you are probably going to be floored, but I shut it down saying that I was hungry and wanted to go. First off, I didn't know if a jealous boyfriend was going to be tracking me down or confronting me in her parking lot at 2am and second, I wasn't about to provide her with ultimate validation by making a move on her, that may have been rebuffed. On top of all that, I don't want to complicate things. Its just a fun time and I have access to sex with others.
She said that she was hungry as well and asked if she could come along. I agreed. Her flirtatious behavior was off the charts. Playing with her hair, giving me cute looks, lots of touching. As usual we continued this for a few hours. I said that I needed to go, walked her to her car and gave her a hug. When she finally let go, it was a reluctant, fingers sliding down my arm to my finger tips, contact to the last second thing.
What I believe that I have here is a woman who wants her cake and eat it too.
It seems that her logical side is telling her to stay with a supplicating, safe, beta provider, while emotionally, it seems that she provides all indications that she receives emotional and social stimulation from me and doesn't want to lose me. She flirts hard and I flirt less. I'm not afraid to disagree, hold my ground, am firm, yet fair with her and not afraid to tell her like it is. I also have no issue with walking away. Frankly, its the oddest "relationship" that I have ever had. The fact that I'm posting about it is enough evidence of that. This is not your typical beta, orbiter relationship.. or am I kidding myself? I really don't have any skin in the game here, but am curious if I am reading this right.
She sent a text late that night saying "This is silly, lets not fight" She sent a few others over the next two days that I ignored. She sent one saying that she wanted to talk. I was heading out and passing by her place so I agreed. Got to her place around 8:30 and she asked if I wanted a beer or wine. She knows good wine, so I chose that. Out came what I know was a $100+ bottle, I'm sure the best that she had. We settled in on her couch, lights dim. Any other girl, I would have been saying: game on. Over the time that it took to kill half the bottle, she quizzed me on my current dating situation and although I didn't bring it up, started filling me in on on hers. Her current guy had staked out her house and confronted her about cheating when she came home ( I happened to know where she was, so false). I changed the subject. So the disagreement came up and it was just a one drink too many misunderstanding. Before anyone goes off. I didn't buy into BS and again is irrelevant except for the fact that I'm sure that she knows that i won't put up with BS. I told her that she should tone down the flirting a bit and she replied that it was me that starts it (complete denial of accountability). The conversation turned here and there to how well we get along, how she feels a connection with me and I could see attraction in her eyes. Some of you are probably going to be floored, but I shut it down saying that I was hungry and wanted to go. First off, I didn't know if a jealous boyfriend was going to be tracking me down or confronting me in her parking lot at 2am and second, I wasn't about to provide her with ultimate validation by making a move on her, that may have been rebuffed. On top of all that, I don't want to complicate things. Its just a fun time and I have access to sex with others.
She said that she was hungry as well and asked if she could come along. I agreed. Her flirtatious behavior was off the charts. Playing with her hair, giving me cute looks, lots of touching. As usual we continued this for a few hours. I said that I needed to go, walked her to her car and gave her a hug. When she finally let go, it was a reluctant, fingers sliding down my arm to my finger tips, contact to the last second thing.
What I believe that I have here is a woman who wants her cake and eat it too.
It seems that her logical side is telling her to stay with a supplicating, safe, beta provider, while emotionally, it seems that she provides all indications that she receives emotional and social stimulation from me and doesn't want to lose me. She flirts hard and I flirt less. I'm not afraid to disagree, hold my ground, am firm, yet fair with her and not afraid to tell her like it is. I also have no issue with walking away. Frankly, its the oddest "relationship" that I have ever had. The fact that I'm posting about it is enough evidence of that. This is not your typical beta, orbiter relationship.. or am I kidding myself? I really don't have any skin in the game here, but am curious if I am reading this right.
