A Way to Send Gifts Without Coming Off As An AFC?

[ShiftyShaun]

Is it possible to send a woman a gift, without coming off as another AFC?

The reason I ask, is because I met a gorgeous girl recently, who lives in a foreign country for the majority of the year. It happens to be her Birthday in a week's time and against my better judgement, I'm considering sending her something.

Now before you shout "AFC!", and hit the "back" button, I'll give you a brief background of our relationship. Unlike the majority of guys, who grovelled at her feet, I chose to lay low, neg her often, and portray myself as my own man. She obviously noticed, and began texting things like "Why didn't I see much of you last night" etc.

Long story short, we hit it off and hooked up a number of times, before she left for home. I knew she was into me, and looking back on it I probably made a few soft AFC moves towards the end, thinking I had "won her over"

I want to keep things fresh and leave any AFC moves behind me, and see where things go from there.

Now, back to the question: Can I send her a Birthday "gift" without coming off as an AFC?

By portraying the gift as light hearted and adding a neg, for instance, can you maintain your Don Juan image?

Could I:

a) Send her something, but with a "neg" message eg. Send her flowers with a "get Better Soon" balloon, and a cheeky message (She's somewhat shy, but a nutter)

b) Not send anything, perhaps just a Happy Birthday message

c) Something else?

Any suggestions would be appreciated

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You don't know this chick. What kind of simp are you that you already want to give her a birthday present?

 

[pdx1138]

No gifts.

You should only do gifts when you two have been involved seriously for awhile as a "reward"

Never Ever send gifts to a woman you're not exclusive/LTR with.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Gifts are a reward for women you're already sleeping with and crazy about. Anything else and you're a white knight enabler.

 

[Iceberg]

Well, my question to you is simple: Why?

Do you think this gift will increase her attraction to you? Not likely, right? Gifts don't make a woman wet.

So let's just put it bluntly - the gift serves no purpose whatsoever. It can't make a stronger impression of you, and it MIGHT create a weaker impression of you.

So, how about you don't send a gift, you put her on the back burner while she's away, and calmly and cooly get in touch with her when she returns.

Gifts do nothing to help your cause. Nothing at all.

 

[nismo-4]

And I'm seeing cases like these too?!

No surprise for Judge Nismo.

Gifts are only for 2 kinds of women. Girls I'm f**kin' and those in my family who love me. You haven't f**ked this girl. You don't know this girl. You are not exclusive with this girl.

For these reasons, DON'T SEND SH*T!!! Doing so before becoming exclusive is gonna make you AFC, no matter how you look at it. Save your money. Buying a gift will make your situation worse before any better.

You are about to commit the crime of White Knighting. Don't do it.

Case closed. Now I'll hit back.

 

[ShiftyShaun]

Thanks for the replies, I have known her for 3 years and it wasn't just a hook up. I'm not that simple that I'm gonna send gifts to a random girl that I've known for a couple of weeks. But I got the message, won't be sending her anything.

 

[backbreaker]

it's not the acf of giving someone a gift that is wrong, ti's the way the AFC does it that is wrong. what i mean is,a gift sholud be a reward for behavior. AFC's use gifts as a way to show that they like someone or to show what they are thinking of someone, etc. gifts in 10000% circumstance should be for rewards, unless it's your LTR's birthay or some ****.

as you can more..... experience, you really get one hook line and inker, you've been with her a while, and by a while i mean years not months... you can bend the rules a little in fact, I recommend it. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.. surprise her with a small token of appreciation.. just out of the blue. you can do that type of **** when you have one that you have one everything else right iwth


i used to always send flowers the first time i had sex with someone.. it's a gift and one i don't feel bad for. girls never did either. just nice set of roses that said I enjoyed last night, nothing more. that's it though.

 

[GameTime76]

Buying Gifts = Trying to buy her love/approval. DOESNT work.

 

[AlexLefty]

Only read the 1st two paragraphs...
...because that's all i needed to read.

Of course you send her a gift on her birthday! That's like skipping out on Christmas presents for your gf just because you don't want to seem like a looser. If you have a relationship, gifts are ok. Gifts are not ok when they are used as an attempt to attract a woman, there's about 50 reasons why it doesn't work. Otherwise, gifts are fine.

 

[BigSmooth]

Jesus Christ.

Some people here are so involved with this "don't show weakness" crap that you fail to realize the big picture.


It's the girl's birthday. Give her a FRIGGIN gift.

This guy isn't saying he's going to ring her doorbell at 12am on her birthday while holding roses and start caroling to her.


To the OP, give her a present. Show her you care. Hell, she's a friend. But do it in a way that doesn't portray AFCness. Do it confidently.

 

[J Roc]

Gifts are a reward for women you're already sleeping with and crazy about. Anything else and you're a white knight enabler.

cosign!

 

[window]

Doesn't have to be an expensive gift, just a card saying happy birthday...

 

[Alle_Gory]

Is it possible to send a woman a gift, without coming off as another AFC?

Yes.

The reason I ask, is because I met a gorgeous girl recently, who lives in a foreign country for the majority of the year. It happens to be her Birthday in a week's time and against my better judgement, I'm considering sending her something.

Send her a card. A heartfelt card that shows that you know about her. Expensive gifts are for people close to you whom you have known for a significant time. And these gifts are given because YOU want to do something nice and give someone something nice.

It's a gift, not a bribe. That means no strings attached and no expectations in return.

Could I:

a) Send her something, but with a "neg" message eg. Send her flowers with a "get Better Soon" balloon, and a cheeky message (She's somewhat shy, but a nutter)

b) Not send anything, perhaps just a Happy Birthday message

c) Something else?

Any suggestions would be appreciated

I would send her something clever and inexpensive. Maybe some kind of gag gift... like this: http://www.handerpants.com/ or maybe an Angry Birds poster.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Jesus Christ.

Some people here are so involved with this "don't show weakness" crap that you fail to realize the big picture.


It's the girl's birthday. Give her a FRIGGIN gift.

This guy isn't saying he's going to ring her doorbell at 12am on her birthday while holding roses and start caroling to her.


To the OP, give her a present. Show her you care. Hell, she's a friend. But do it in a way that doesn't portray AFCness. Do it confidently.

Qft finally some common sense.

 

[ShiftyShaun]

So if sending a gift could come off as "weak" or "white knighting", would making it a neg hit/light hearted, still come off as AFC? To add to the confusion, her Birthday is on a Sunday, with very few businesses willing to deliver on a Sunday.

I don't see the harm in sending her a small gift, since there is a chance of an LTR in the near future?

 

[Iceberg]

So if sending a gift could come off as "weak" or "white knighting", would making it a neg hit/light hearted, still come off as AFC? To add to the confusion, her Birthday is on a Sunday, with very few businesses willing to deliver on a Sunday.

I don't see the harm in sending her a small gift, since there is a chance of an LTR in the near future?

Dude, if you're hell-bent on sending a gift, then just send a gift. It makes me laugh when guys come here asking for advice when they're already determined to do whatever they were going to do anyway.

"Chance of LTR in the future" hahah. Come on, man. Either you're in the LTR or you're not. You don't treat a girl like a LTR before you've even started dating her. You hooked up a few times....cool. She isn't a LTR.

If you don't see harm in sending her a small gift, then go ahead. What else is there to say? You've already made up your mind. Good luck.

 

[BigSmooth]

So if sending a gift could come off as "weak" or "white knighting", would making it a neg hit/light hearted, still come off as AFC? To add to the confusion, her Birthday is on a Sunday, with very few businesses willing to deliver on a Sunday.

I don't see the harm in sending her a small gift, since there is a chance of an LTR in the near future?

Just give her the gift confidently. Don't look for positive reinforcements or try to get approval from her when you give it to her.


Make it known that although you tease her a lot, give her $hit, she's still a pretty important person in your life (if in fact she is).


Don't project like giving her the gift is a big deal. It's no big deal.

 

[Gray The Prince]

This will end well...:flowers:


EDIT: 500th post!!!!

 

[Leopold]

NO GIFTS!!! that's suicidal!!

she'll be like.... "HE'S SO NICE!!!" with a huge disgusted expression like if you had farted on her face.

She'll run far away to the hills and you would have wasted your money :/

Take it from personal experience.... you only reward women AFTER she meets your expectations!!!