"Blank Mind on Dates? She's Dropping Hints You Keep Missing"

The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.

Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.

Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.

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A Very Unique Situation

Lost Cause

Don Juan
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Wow Ok. This doesn't happen everyday -- or every year.

Me and some friends were at a place called 'Sing Sing'. It's a place where they have dueling piano's playing everything from the beatles to the zebrahead.

So I was there and this group of girls sat down behind us and it was one of there birthdays. So me and a friend went up to the birthday girl and started talking to her. One thing led to another and she asked me where I went to high school. Well I went to a boarding school in a town of 150 people in Montana. She told me that her friend Kristina had gone to school in Montana. Well she was there as well and we hit it off on our uncommon bond.

I talked to her the other night and we set up a date for Wednesday. SHe said OK but she had to find out about her work schedule first. She called me back today and said for me to call her friend (the birthday girl) and we could all go out on Wednesday.

SHE THOUGHT I WAS INTO HER FRIEND AND NOT HER!!!! WHAT THE HELL?

I didn't even get her friends number! She said because she saw us talking before I met her that I was probably into her. And I wasn't.

I decided to be straight forward with her and said "Listen, she's totally cool and a nice girl. But we don't have anything in common. We didn't go to the same damn boarding school. Ya know? I wouldn't of found out about that if I didn't talk to her but on a romantic note I can't date her. So let's go out on wednesday and have a good time. Who knows."

After that she agreed to go on wednesday but I could tell she had some reservations still. I guess her friend likes me and that is always a problem for girls.


What the hell should I do now? Our 2nd time talking and there is already mad ass drama. I'd drop her like a brick but we have something crazy in common.


Adviiice?!?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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CyranoDeBergerac

Master Don Juan
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I have to say you read this wrong. She said you'd all go out, not just you and the B-day girl.

She's still unsure of you (you've only talked to her once, and she might be skeptical) and wants to stay in a social atmosphere as opposed to a romantic one. Either that or her friends interested and she wants to give her one more shot.

No matter what, you go out, have a smashing time and you tell her," You know, you're friends are alright, but I was actually kinda hoping to get to know you a little better." Of course, you should have said that in the first place, but that's just spilled milk.

-CyranoDeBergerac
 

Lost Cause

Don Juan
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Yeah but she was already under the impression that me and the b-day girl were into each other. And that was a one way street. She thought that I had gotten her # that night, which I didn't do. It was just a crazy misunderstanding the entire time.

She didn't want her friend to come for social reasons. She seriously thought that we would be together and that I would bring some friends for her to hang out with. That was her idea of thinking.


Now I like this girl but I think the drama so soon already screwed it up. And it shouldn't of happened in the first place!
 
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