A Tip for beginners about AA

[3agle 3yes]

I have seen mentioned many times on PUA books or blogs that the average man is afraid of approaching women (AA or Approach Anxiety).

This ISN'T true at all.

They also say to remedy your AA you must approach, approach, approach...i.e. maybe even hundreds of women.

Of course increasing your social interaction with women will help but because the first point isn't true this remedy is inefficient.

The REAL truth is that the average man is afraid of REJECTION not approaching.

Some might say, what is the difference? However, there is a MASSIVE difference!

Accurate diagnosis is half the cure.

To prove this, imagine if you could guarantee successfully getting a number or meeting up with a woman you approached. Would you then be afraid of approaching? No of course you wouldn't.

Anyway, as an exercise, INSTEAD of approaching 100 women. Approach less, but approach women with the intention of getting rejected.

Yes, DELIBERATELY get rejected by women.

And the best way to do this is by offending them. Deliberately OFFEND women by being rude with the result of getting rejected.

What is going on here? What you're doing is you're detaching yourself from the desired result...

You will also be pleasantly surprised. Some women will NOT be offended!

The problem with many men, is we are afraid to offend people (especially if they are strangers). If on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being extremely cautious/polite, 10 being extremely rude/careless, you will find most men on 2 or 3 on the scale. This is especially the case we when are communicating with ATTRACTIVE women.

In reality, you are ten times more likely to successful being 8 or 9 on the scale than you are being 2 or 3.

The whole point isn't to be rude with women...it's to create the mindset to stop trying to be polite. Because being polite leads to attempting to impress them and subsequently, being attached to the desired result.

 

[Wolfgang D]

Or you can just talk to strangers in the street who are not hot women, to get over the natural reluctance to break convention and bother people you don't know. Start by giving old people in the street a comment about the weather, they will be glad to hear it. Then work your way up. Being rude to women in the street is a good way to get yourself a bad reputation as the freak who walks around insulting people for no reason. Unless you think those women exist in a vacuum and none of them will know someone who knows you. Women talk.

 

[3agle 3yes]

...Being rude to women in the street is a good way to get yourself a bad reputation as the freak who walks around insulting people for no reason. Unless you think those women exist in a vacuum and none of them will know someone who knows you. Women talk...

Very good points, I didn't really think about that...I guess there are consequences for this approach. Also the idea about speaking to random people isn't a new one but a very helpful one. Just one more clarification, the idea for this thread came about when I kept reading bad advice about approaching only women and lots of them to rid yourself of this so called "approach anxiety".

Beginners will do best to take YOUR advice.

The only issue I have with your advice is that, when men eventually make the move to approach attractive women...their minds automatically shift to a fear of rejection (I know plenty of people who can speak the normal strangers but women they're attracted to is a different story).

Notice in my last paragraph I mentioned:

The whole point isn't to be rude with women...it's to create the mindset to stop trying to be polite. Because being polite leads to attempting to impress them and subsequently, being attached to the desired result.

Also, perhaps I didn't clarify myself properly. I don't mean throw insults at random women, but deliberately sabotage yourself from reaching a particular target.

And perhaps I made a mistake in not explaining that the obvious thing is to do this in a place where nobody knows you (i.e. where you don't frequent).

 

[Purefilth]

Bigger than fear of rejection is the fear of the mind going blank and having absolutely nothing to say.

In fact the greatest reason for not approaching is that they have nothing to say.

The guys that do approach rarely have much more to say than - "i think you are cute"
The pieces on conversaion in the bible are very helpful on that end

 

[3agle 3yes]

...Bigger than fear of rejection is the fear of the mind going blank and having absolutely nothing to say...

Many men have absolutely nothing to say because they are afraid they might say the wrong thing, therefore leading to rejection.

...In fact the greatest reason for not approaching is that they have nothing to say...

There is NOTHING WRONG with your mind going blank.

You can even say jokingly "...hold on, my minds just gone blank for the moment...I seem to be suffering from dementia...you take over...".

Compose yourself, then continue...

 

[Dan08]

I think I read a post on here or through the Bible which put a completely different spin on it and said men were afraid of acceptance as then that lead into possible even more new terroritory for some guys, perhaps a ONS for a virgin, or a date for someone who's never done it before or a relationship and so this person would have to be introduced to this girls friends, parents etc etc and that because of putting all these barriers up in your mind before you've even approached the girl you more than likely WANT to fail.

 

[3agle 3yes]

There are many differences between between "winners" and "losers"...

But the arguably the most important one is a fear of failure.

I'm sure everyone's heard the proverbial term "The rise before the fall"?

Well, I believe there is another scenario too:

"The fall before the rise"

There is ONE MAIN difference between "winners" and "losers" and that is "winners" i.e. people who actually live fulfilling lives understand that failure is a prerequisite the success...a man cannot know the way unless he searches and inevitably makes mistakes.