A short story from a newbie

[slight]

Another new member here, thought I'd share a story (from last year) and see what you guys think.

I met this girl at a new year's eve party hosted by a good friend of mine. Was being my slightly ****y and funny self. Apparently she loved my sense of humor and starts up a convo, then starts touching me while laughing. I was acting a bit aloof, because I had a girlfriend at the time.

Fast forward 7 months later, we meet again, joke around, heavy kino and at the end we mention how we'll end up having sex that night, while my guy friends basically go home alone. She gives me her number.

Few hours later I receive a textroughly translated)

"is the deal still on? Bring a condom and meet me at my place, here's the address...."

Wasn't really surprised she texted, but her coming too strong took me off guard. It's very uncommon where I live, "that must be some kind of a trap" I thought. I replied with something along the lines "we'll talk later"

I tried to call her 2 times during the next two weeks, she didn't pick up (surprise surprise). Wrote her on facebook later, suggesting to meet up, but she was being ice cold and said "why are you so sure that I want to go out with you?"
to which I didn't reply. Few hours later she sends me the "thumbs up" emoji, didn't reply to that either.

Just to clarify, I'm from eastern Europe, girls here don't approach and ONS's are VERY rare. Did I appear weak by not fvcking her right away? Obviously she lost interest very quickly, in other cases when it happened it was a much slower proccess, not overnight.


I'd assume it was because my words didn't match my actions, what do you guys think?

 

[Serenity]

Simple, she wanted to fvck. You didn't go fvck her, now why should she talk to you? All she wanted was what you didn't give her.

 

[Von]

You missed your chance. She moved on.

Maybe you can try again in a few months or next encounter

 

[slight]

I thought about that too. It's just that its so rare here, nothing like in the US.

 

[RangerMIke]

Women give you windows of opportunity, when you miss the window... you are done. Obviously you weren't ready, you didn't do anything wrong. Don't worry about this, just forget about her and move on... plenty of women out there, find one you are comfortable with.

 

[amazingswayze]

Even if she was joking, that sounds like a ride worth taking.

 

[marmel75]

Are you an idiot?

She just told you she wanted to fvck, gave you her address to come bang her, and you blow her off thinking it is a set up, lmao.

Then you try and "date" her when she already told you she wants to fvck, hence her response of "Why are you so sure I want to date you?", translated as "You fvcking idiot, I wanted to fvck you, and you want to try and fall in love with me? Fvck off"---why the hell would you want to date her if you think she is trying to set you up?? This makes ZERO sense.

Then you are going to come here and post this asking what to do?

This is the epitome of cluelessness with women right here. This belongs in the Guinness Book Of World Records under "Most clueless guy ever---woman category"

 

[MrWood]

Just to clarify, I'm from eastern Europe, girls here don't approach and ONS's are VERY rare.

Strange, I find this is exactly the opposite (as an American living in Scandinavia / Eastern Europe and date almost exclusively Russian girls).
I have been approached or directly asked out on many occasions and do not find it to be rare.

your mileage (kph/100) may vary..

 

[parkthebus]

She's lost interest most likely because you either made her feel insecure or she thinks your a *****. Either she doesn't believe you can benefit her anymore and so you've been nexted.

 

[slight]

Strange, I find this is exactly the opposite (as an American living in Scandinavia / Eastern Europe and date almost exclusively Russian girls).
I have been approached or directly asked out on many occasions and do not find it to be rare.

your mileage (kph/100) may vary..

The Scandinavian countries are a totally different story. As you know, they're one of the most progressive places on earth, not to mention incredibly wealthy.

Have you experienced the same in let's say Ukraine, Latvia, Poland?

 

[MrWood]

I think Ukraine is abit more conservative, especially small town girls prefer the traditional man chases girl.
Latvia is at least as progressive as Estonia, which is nearly Finland.

I do think if you are initiated by a chick over here, you got less than a 3 day window otherwise her interest drops

 

[Building_and_Loan]

You rejected her when she was horny, now she knows you won't step up.

Learn from it and move on.

I can't believe you responded with that after she texted you that night with her address. I've been guilty of this too, but get it out of your head that you'll always need to wine and dine a girl before she'll have sex with you.

She clearly was dtf, you just didn't take advantage of the window.

 

[slight]

You rejected her when she was horny, now she knows you won't step up.

Learn from it and move on.

I can't believe you responded with that after she texted you that night with her address. I've been guilty of this too, but get it out of your head that you'll always need to wine and dine a girl before she'll have sex with you.

She clearly was dtf, you just didn't take advantage of the window.

Looking back it does sound pretty lame of me, that was almost a year ago. Yea, I was wondering if anyone else had similar experiences, appreciate your advice.

I just didn't know at the time that turning down a chick could instantly turn her off.

 

[MrWiggles]

wow... she gave you the green light and you chickened out. What kind of set up could you possibly think it would be? Did you think she was going to rob you? She wanted to rob you of your baby batter and you ran with your tail between your legs. Next time this happens thank the lord he gave you such an easy path to the vag and go bang

 

[Serenity]

The Scandinavian countries are a totally different story. As you know, they're one of the most progressive places on earth, not to mention incredibly wealthy.

Have you experienced the same in let's say Ukraine, Latvia, Poland?

I live in Norway. It's kinda true that women throw themselves at you, but there's still much of the same effects seen in America.

An invitation such as that isn't rare in Scandinavia, don't know about eastern Europe though.

 

[Yewki]

"why are you so sure that I want to go out with you?"
to which I didn't reply. Few hours later she sends me the "thumbs up" emoji, didn't reply to that either.

You shouldn't have ignored her question, only makes you look worse plus there's a small chance you could turn it around. You still can too, you have nothing to lose. I would respond with something like "Look I know you're disappointed with how I handled last week and I'm sorry. To answer your question I don't know one way or the other, but I do have a really big reason why we should see each other again" and if she asks "It's kind of too big for a picture you have to come see it yourself"

 

[slight]

You shouldn't have ignored her question, only makes you look worse plus there's a small chance you could turn it around. You still can too, you have nothing to lose. I would respond with something like "Look I know you're disappointed with how I handled last week and I'm sorry. To answer your question I don't know one way or the other, but I do have a really big reason why we should see each other again" and if she asks "It's kind of too big for a picture you have to come see it yourself"

Thanks, that does sound like a good way to respond, I should've found this board much earlier.

I'm not sure if I could've turned it around though, it sounds pretty mean in my language, almost as "I don't want to talk to you, back off"

Translating it word for word in English makes it sound not so bad