"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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A second try with my ex?

bignick79

Don Juan
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Hello fellow Don Juan's!

I had an interesting experience this weekend. My ex and I have been talking and seeing each other again over the last 3-4 weeks, went out to brunch this past Sunday. I invited her, it was going to be a nice day so why not get out and enjoy it. I picked her up, went to brunch near the beach and we had a great day. After, as we walk around I reach for her hand and she welcomed holding my hand, rubbing my fingers and such as we walked. We were holding hands, laughing and talking the whole ride home. We spent about 4 hours together. When I dropped her off, she puckered up and I gave her a kiss.

Prior to this, verbally I wasn't getting a vibe that she wanted "try again" and I wasn't really pushing that either, but this was the first time I felt that the thought was there in her mind, or at least that physically a connection was developing again. What do you all think here my fellow Don's? How should I approach this going forward?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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SamTheHobit

Master Don Juan
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Jan 10, 2011
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Just take it easy.. And tap the b!tch.
 

Harry Wilmington

Master Don Juan
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I'm not normally a big fan of people getting back with their exes. Usually the issues that caused them to break up in the first place start to rear their ugly head again. I'd be curious as to why you two broke up in the first place - i.e. were you being AFCish, was she cheating on you, etc.

With that said, I find it usually works better if you:

(a) don't try to verbally bring up anything about you two possibly getting back together;
(b) keep showing through your ACTIONS that you're interested (again, not verbalizing it);
(c) remain patient;
(d) let HER initiate any "heavy" actions (i.e. letting her initiate the kiss - GREAT job, btw); and
(e) wait for her to bring up the "so, are we back together" conversation - that way you know for sure she's into the idea.

However, make sure whatever issues 'caused the initial break up aren't ones likely to surface again. For example, she broke up with you 'cause you were being AFCish, keep a note NOT to do those actions. If you broke up with her 'cause of something SHE did, make sure you're 100% over it or, if it was an annoying habit, that you're cool with it now.
 
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