This all started around the start of August, I work in a contact center (I know depressing stuff). I had fancied her for a number of months, but until she was actually put into the same team as me, I never really got talking to her. After a few weeks of just talking generally, I got her number, I asked her out the following day by text and she said yes, and also said she didn't know I looked at her like that.
We went out for a date on the following Saturday after sitting with each other all week in work. On the date she spoke about her ex, she said “I love him but I'm not in love with him, I'm not attracted to him at all” This made me feel uncomfortable of course, I continued on with the date however. At a later point in the evening she stated that in march, she had been raped by another guy in work who she believed had spiked her. Despite the discomfort of this we continued for a few hours and then went back to her place. This escalated into sex then, and again the following morning.
When in work the following monday we arranged to have another night together in hers, again, we slept together. Through this she continued to speak about her ex and that she left him as she didn't have romantic feelings or attraction for him anymore. I also found out that she was on medication for anxiety and depression. I am aware that these are huge red flags and my intuition as the weeks went by told me to get the hell outta there.
I am 27 and she was 23. Anyway, this arrangement of me staying in hers for the night, then going to work together continued for 4 weeks. The end was in sight without me knowing went she sent a text to me after I had told her I wasn't happy about her still talking with her ex, she stated “I can confirm to you you're the only person I'm seeing. I'm also said before I'm not in a position to get serious with anyone, due to my physical/mental health, therefore, I feel this needs to continue as a casual thing. I 'm trying to let you know how I feel, which is completely messed up, because frankly, I'm damaged goods, and there's nothing I can do about it”
Fast forward a few days and I stay in hers before we go to work the next day, the following morning she was in a terrible mood from waking, I felt like I was walking on eggshells all day with her. Just before we went into work she stated “I don't think we should do sleep overs anymore, I like having my bed to myself, and I don't plan on sharing it again” This pissed me off as her tune had changed so quickly. We went out of town after work with some work friends, and later that day after pretty much ignoring me, she stated she didn't want things to continue as normal even on a casual level.
Later that night when we returned to her's. I told her that she was out of order for being aloof and moody with me all day, and after a bit of back and forth I went home.
What do you guys think of this? I feel that perhaps I was more into her than she was into me despite her initiating things. I have since left this job and I longer have any contact with her, which is for the best.
However, I am reflecting on this episode, I have a lot of resentment in regards to this, it has subsided alot as I have been journaling and reflecting on it. I think I was good and "nice" to her and was also fearful of her mood swings, my mother had very volatile moodswings when I was growing up, this, paired with a passive father, made for alot of fear for me growing up.
I still feel that I haven't faced truly faced my growing up situation, I tend to get involved with women who withdraw after a few weeks or months, and I become embittered in the fallout.
This is my first post here, I'd appreciate any advice or input in regards to this.
We went out for a date on the following Saturday after sitting with each other all week in work. On the date she spoke about her ex, she said “I love him but I'm not in love with him, I'm not attracted to him at all” This made me feel uncomfortable of course, I continued on with the date however. At a later point in the evening she stated that in march, she had been raped by another guy in work who she believed had spiked her. Despite the discomfort of this we continued for a few hours and then went back to her place. This escalated into sex then, and again the following morning.
When in work the following monday we arranged to have another night together in hers, again, we slept together. Through this she continued to speak about her ex and that she left him as she didn't have romantic feelings or attraction for him anymore. I also found out that she was on medication for anxiety and depression. I am aware that these are huge red flags and my intuition as the weeks went by told me to get the hell outta there.
I am 27 and she was 23. Anyway, this arrangement of me staying in hers for the night, then going to work together continued for 4 weeks. The end was in sight without me knowing went she sent a text to me after I had told her I wasn't happy about her still talking with her ex, she stated “I can confirm to you you're the only person I'm seeing. I'm also said before I'm not in a position to get serious with anyone, due to my physical/mental health, therefore, I feel this needs to continue as a casual thing. I 'm trying to let you know how I feel, which is completely messed up, because frankly, I'm damaged goods, and there's nothing I can do about it”
Fast forward a few days and I stay in hers before we go to work the next day, the following morning she was in a terrible mood from waking, I felt like I was walking on eggshells all day with her. Just before we went into work she stated “I don't think we should do sleep overs anymore, I like having my bed to myself, and I don't plan on sharing it again” This pissed me off as her tune had changed so quickly. We went out of town after work with some work friends, and later that day after pretty much ignoring me, she stated she didn't want things to continue as normal even on a casual level.
Later that night when we returned to her's. I told her that she was out of order for being aloof and moody with me all day, and after a bit of back and forth I went home.
What do you guys think of this? I feel that perhaps I was more into her than she was into me despite her initiating things. I have since left this job and I longer have any contact with her, which is for the best.
However, I am reflecting on this episode, I have a lot of resentment in regards to this, it has subsided alot as I have been journaling and reflecting on it. I think I was good and "nice" to her and was also fearful of her mood swings, my mother had very volatile moodswings when I was growing up, this, paired with a passive father, made for alot of fear for me growing up.
I still feel that I haven't faced truly faced my growing up situation, I tend to get involved with women who withdraw after a few weeks or months, and I become embittered in the fallout.
This is my first post here, I'd appreciate any advice or input in regards to this.
