"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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A question on spinning plates

Nutz

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Do you all consider a woman a plate if you haven't slept with her yet? Back in the day we used to say we were "talking to" a girl if we hadn't hooked up yet.

To me spinning plates means a defacto harem basically, that you're hooking up with the women. Otherwise you're just "talking to" a bunch of women that may or may not amount to a damn thing if you never actually hook up with them. IMO I think a lot of guys are saying they're spinning plates when in reality they're not, at least by my standards, as a way of padding their ego to some degree. For those that it's not an ego thing then it could just be a difference in the definitions they use.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Greasy Pig

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I say a plate is definitely a woman you're fvcking. If you could define women you're trying to fvck or who you're just non-sexually dating, then we'd all be plate-spinning champions.
Only when a woman parts her thighs for you can you say you've been successful. Only then does she become a plate. IMHO.
 

SecondHalf

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I think a woman you could jump if you turned up the heat would qualify as a plate.
For me it's enough to take the edge off just knowing that I could.

After all, what is the purpose of a spinning "plate"?

SH
 

Iceberg

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When I'm telling you about plates that I'm spinning, I'm referring to girls I'm having sex with.

But I've noticed that some guys just use it to describe girls they're talking to. My feeling is, that's not spinning plates...that's just normal human interaction.
 

Nutz

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Good to see we're on the same page with this one. I'm seeing a lot of guys here and elsewhere saying they've got plates (or using terminology that would otherwise translate to such), but aren't having sex with ANY of the women. Bunch of circlejerking ego stroking if you ask me.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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backbreaker

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I consider any girl that has demonstrated interest in me to be a plate. To me, "plate" means "option".
for the most part i agree. it's too black and white. there are plenty of girls who i know were extremely interested in me that i did not have sex with but still had enough sense to know they wanted me or wanted to be in a relationship with me. for various reasons we had not had sex yet.


to me a plate is a woman who meets the following criteria

1. i can settle down with at any given moment
2. i can have sex with at any given moment within reason
 

AW1983

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Here's how I see it:

A plate is someone you're having sex with.

However, the point of spinning plates is to cultivate options and the corresponding sense of confidence which exudes from your persona when you have this. So having options like backbreaker lists above contributes to the same mentality. Still a very good thing but I'd feel a little poseur-esque calling a girl who you're only talking to a "plate".

If she isn't worth fvcking, why are you talking to her? And if she is, well then why aren't you fvcking her? "Plates" should only refer to women attractive/worthwhile enough to fvck. Not some orbiting HB3 that you know you could bang whenever...
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Nutz,
Oh let's keep it easy.....There is a remarkable change in a relationship when it becomes svexual....not always good....Those girls waiting in the Wings or auditioning are worthy of another name....sadly,such is the attrition level in Plates,that our behaviour towards them,is and must be different....to be a successful Don Juan, you need a continual flow of Likely Ladies,to replace those who got up and ran away.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Disgustipated,
"Can we call those saucers?Or Kum saucers plz?"...Tres Drole
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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SecondHalf

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Clearly we're divided.

I learned the term in sosuave, so I only have my perception of its meaning.

However, given that we are divided, I'm going to qualify them from this point on as a "wet plate" or "dry plate", because, I'd hate to be thought of as an exagerating bullsh1tter.

SH
 

DMSR76

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Danger said:
But options are options and they are what lead to a "bountiful mentality" and help kill the neediness.
Right. In the end, it's all about the mentality that is cultivated. That's what plate spinning is all about.
 

zekko

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Wow, the whole time I've been here I never knew there was any question on what a plate was. To me, it's definitely a girl you're having sex with, or at the very least dating.

Since I'm in an exclusive relationship with my LTR, I certainly never thought I was spinning any plates currently. But if a plate is merely an "option", damn I am spinning plates. But I don't believe that, so no I'm not.

If some people think plates are "options", I'm going to be a LOT less impressed when I read the number of plates some posters are spinning, that's for sure.

If plates are "options", should you consider all the ugly single girls you know plates, since you could most likely have them at a moment's notice?
 

sstype

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zekko said:
Wow, the whole time I've been here I never knew there was any question on what a plate was. To me, it's definitely a girl you're having sex with, or at the very least dating.

Since I'm in an exclusive relationship with my LTR, I certainly never thought I was spinning any plates currently. But if a plate is merely an "option", damn I am spinning plates. But I don't believe that, so no I'm not.

If some people think plates are "options", I'm going to be a LOT less impressed when I read the number of plates some posters are spinning, that's for sure.

If plates are "options", should you consider all the ugly single girls you know plates, since you could most likely have them at a moment's notice?
lol...classic broflation of sexual conquests.

Friend: "Dude, I hooked up with her last night"

Me: "Nice, so you f*cked her right"

Friend: "Nah, we made out"

Me: (Facepalm)
 

Nutz

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sstype said:
lol...classic broflation of sexual conquests.

Friend: "Dude, I hooked up with her last night"

Me: "Nice, so you f*cked her right"

Friend: "Nah, we made out"

Me: (Facepalm)

This is exactly what I was getting at.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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