Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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A prop?

shortstop22

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Hey guys. I know the common response will be "Next" but please give me a little more than that.

Long story short I just started dating a girl, and while she was over in my room she checked her facebook. After she left she forgot to log out. Granted I shouldn't have checked her Inbox, but once I did I found something I didn't like.

It was a message to her best friend about me, and one of her ex's. Supposedly at a party one of her other friends told her ex that she had a new love interest. (me). She then gleefully told her best friend that he had all sorts of questions, who was he?, blah blah. Either way she commented on how jealous he was.

My question is: Obviously she still has baggage. She's trying to get this other guy jealous. Am I being used as a prop? Is it even worth trying to date this girl? I'm disappointed because I made the mistake of thinking she wasn't as big a ***** as her friends. Too bad she's in the same boat.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, because I'm in uncharted waters right now.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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MooseGod

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You my friend have just opened Pandora's box (or inbox, as the case may be.) If I were you I'd pretend I never saw it and just play it cool. Just look for the signs that she is using you for a rebound and don't let her get to you. Let her be the tool if it plays out like that.
 

Andromax

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First off shame on you for reading her inbox.

Secondly. What do you care if she wants to make her ex jealous? Its a pretty common desire. It was not meant for you to read. It was a message to her best friend. Girl talk..?

You tell US.. are you a prop? Or are you a man?

Play it cool. And don't do stupid sh1t like that again. It's like a cancer or worse to behave like that. I really hope that it was just a horrendous moment of weakness for you.
 

shortstop22

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Andromax said:
First off shame on you for reading her inbox.

Secondly. What do you care if she wants to make her ex jealous? Its a pretty common desire. It was not meant for you to read. It was a message to her best friend. Girl talk..?

You tell US.. are you a prop? Or are you a man?

Play it cool. And don't do stupid sh1t like that again. It's like a cancer or worse to behave like that. I really hope that it was just a horrendous moment of weakness for you.
Besides all of your judgemental comments you do offer good advice. I will play it cool, which is what I was planning to do in the first place.

Youre telling me if your girlfriend left her inbox open on your computer and you caught one of the subjects you wouldn't be compelled to read it? Give me a break.

We are curious creatures by nature, that's why I looked. Quite frankly if she wants to use me as a prop to get back at her ex, then she's going to do that. It's out of my control, so why the hell does it matter anyway?

This is why this site angers me sometimes, so I ****ed up by seeing the message. I know that, you don't have to tell me that. All I was looking for was advice to help me move forward.

So thanks to some extent.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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shortstop22

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MooseGod said:
You my friend have just opened Pandora's box (or inbox, as the case may be.) If I were you I'd pretend I never saw it and just play it cool. Just look for the signs that she is using you for a rebound and don't let her get to you. Let her be the tool if it plays out like that.
That's what I thought. If I'm ever put in this situation again I will stay the hell away from stuff like this.

Thanks.
 
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