"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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A prop?

shortstop22

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Hey guys. I know the common response will be "Next" but please give me a little more than that.

Long story short I just started dating a girl, and while she was over in my room she checked her facebook. After she left she forgot to log out. Granted I shouldn't have checked her Inbox, but once I did I found something I didn't like.

It was a message to her best friend about me, and one of her ex's. Supposedly at a party one of her other friends told her ex that she had a new love interest. (me). She then gleefully told her best friend that he had all sorts of questions, who was he?, blah blah. Either way she commented on how jealous he was.

My question is: Obviously she still has baggage. She's trying to get this other guy jealous. Am I being used as a prop? Is it even worth trying to date this girl? I'm disappointed because I made the mistake of thinking she wasn't as big a ***** as her friends. Too bad she's in the same boat.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, because I'm in uncharted waters right now.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MooseGod

Master Don Juan
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You my friend have just opened Pandora's box (or inbox, as the case may be.) If I were you I'd pretend I never saw it and just play it cool. Just look for the signs that she is using you for a rebound and don't let her get to you. Let her be the tool if it plays out like that.
 

Andromax

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First off shame on you for reading her inbox.

Secondly. What do you care if she wants to make her ex jealous? Its a pretty common desire. It was not meant for you to read. It was a message to her best friend. Girl talk..?

You tell US.. are you a prop? Or are you a man?

Play it cool. And don't do stupid sh1t like that again. It's like a cancer or worse to behave like that. I really hope that it was just a horrendous moment of weakness for you.
 

shortstop22

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Andromax said:
First off shame on you for reading her inbox.

Secondly. What do you care if she wants to make her ex jealous? Its a pretty common desire. It was not meant for you to read. It was a message to her best friend. Girl talk..?

You tell US.. are you a prop? Or are you a man?

Play it cool. And don't do stupid sh1t like that again. It's like a cancer or worse to behave like that. I really hope that it was just a horrendous moment of weakness for you.
Besides all of your judgemental comments you do offer good advice. I will play it cool, which is what I was planning to do in the first place.

Youre telling me if your girlfriend left her inbox open on your computer and you caught one of the subjects you wouldn't be compelled to read it? Give me a break.

We are curious creatures by nature, that's why I looked. Quite frankly if she wants to use me as a prop to get back at her ex, then she's going to do that. It's out of my control, so why the hell does it matter anyway?

This is why this site angers me sometimes, so I ****ed up by seeing the message. I know that, you don't have to tell me that. All I was looking for was advice to help me move forward.

So thanks to some extent.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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shortstop22

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MooseGod said:
You my friend have just opened Pandora's box (or inbox, as the case may be.) If I were you I'd pretend I never saw it and just play it cool. Just look for the signs that she is using you for a rebound and don't let her get to you. Let her be the tool if it plays out like that.
That's what I thought. If I'm ever put in this situation again I will stay the hell away from stuff like this.

Thanks.
 
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