"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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A new problem, and approaching a girl in a group

Darth

Master Don Juan
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Hi all, it's been a while since I've even visited these forums. Now, I have a new problem.

Before I was really, really insecure but didn't know it. I breathed out of my mouth, my posture sucked, I had a speech impediment, I thought I had a mood disorder (which added onto my insecurity), etc etc. You get the picture.

Well, now I fixed all that (the insecurity hit me suddenly and I changed instantly), but now it's the opposite. Now it's pretty much impossible for me to get any more secure with myself. Suddenly I have brilliant people skills. Nobody is higher value than me. EVERYONE looks away or down when I walk down the street. I experimented over the last few days (school just started for me) just to see what I could do, including persuading the girl from Subway to put more meatballs on my sandwich after her boss just told her to only put 4 on. I've just become "the man," who does what he wants and doesn't care whether he fits in or not.


This sounds like it would be awesome, and it is, except that I'm still not getting girls. If this goes on for too much longer, I might start to get insecure again.

They all seem completely scared of me. I'll look at them and smile and they'll just turn away. But then I see their hand go right for their hair and then they look at me again. The hair thing is almost universal, so I know they're at least a little attracted.

It's not really in my nature to go chase down girls and hit on them and put myself at their mercy like that, but I guess that's what I've got to do?

Basically, it feels like now, everyone respects me, but they still don't see me as an approachable person. This goes for guys too. They act nervous around me. It was cool at first, but now I feel loneliness coming on.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Darth

Master Don Juan
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Also- I was in an elevator, and there was this really beautiful girl- going by looks a 10. Beautiful hair, dressed really nicely, round back end...etc.

I could tell she was attracted to me. But, she turned away from me. I went up to the same floor she was on, but she was with this group. There were 3 other girls and 5 other guys.

What am I supposed to do?
 

Darth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 20, 2005
Messages
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Age
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You know what, guys. I forgot the biggest thing of all. I wasn't smiling at all.

That would probably make a big difference. Having yourself together and being secure doesn't necessarily make you approachable.

I've got myself together- now I just have to work on being approachable outwardly. Sorry for the 3 posts.
 
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