"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

A new problem, and approaching a girl in a group

Darth

Master Don Juan
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Hi all, it's been a while since I've even visited these forums. Now, I have a new problem.

Before I was really, really insecure but didn't know it. I breathed out of my mouth, my posture sucked, I had a speech impediment, I thought I had a mood disorder (which added onto my insecurity), etc etc. You get the picture.

Well, now I fixed all that (the insecurity hit me suddenly and I changed instantly), but now it's the opposite. Now it's pretty much impossible for me to get any more secure with myself. Suddenly I have brilliant people skills. Nobody is higher value than me. EVERYONE looks away or down when I walk down the street. I experimented over the last few days (school just started for me) just to see what I could do, including persuading the girl from Subway to put more meatballs on my sandwich after her boss just told her to only put 4 on. I've just become "the man," who does what he wants and doesn't care whether he fits in or not.


This sounds like it would be awesome, and it is, except that I'm still not getting girls. If this goes on for too much longer, I might start to get insecure again.

They all seem completely scared of me. I'll look at them and smile and they'll just turn away. But then I see their hand go right for their hair and then they look at me again. The hair thing is almost universal, so I know they're at least a little attracted.

It's not really in my nature to go chase down girls and hit on them and put myself at their mercy like that, but I guess that's what I've got to do?

Basically, it feels like now, everyone respects me, but they still don't see me as an approachable person. This goes for guys too. They act nervous around me. It was cool at first, but now I feel loneliness coming on.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Darth

Master Don Juan
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Also- I was in an elevator, and there was this really beautiful girl- going by looks a 10. Beautiful hair, dressed really nicely, round back end...etc.

I could tell she was attracted to me. But, she turned away from me. I went up to the same floor she was on, but she was with this group. There were 3 other girls and 5 other guys.

What am I supposed to do?
 

Darth

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
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You know what, guys. I forgot the biggest thing of all. I wasn't smiling at all.

That would probably make a big difference. Having yourself together and being secure doesn't necessarily make you approachable.

I've got myself together- now I just have to work on being approachable outwardly. Sorry for the 3 posts.
 
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