A mutual agreement on "cheating"

[jhonny9546]

You see things like this online sometimes, Reddit, or this one in Israel, and it really makes you think You could be a mature man, focused on work, building your life, and one day find out your wife has been sleeping with her personal trainer for 5 years. And not just that, she enjoys it.


At 20, I would’ve laughed at this. Now, I still laugh… but in a different way. I understand how this stuff can deeply affect your life and sense of purpose. Maybe you’ve turned down married/engaged women in the past. And maybe you could’ve been that guy, but you chose not to. Why? Because you value something else: honesty, direction, meaning.


Monogamy is hard. What really makes it difficult is desire, it doesn’t just disappear. Sometimes, the person you’re with just doesn’t fulfill you like they used to. So why not allow a consensual escape, once or twice a year, instead of cheating and hiding?
It could make some relationships more honest, more real, fewer games, fewer lies.
Of course, some couples will never need this. They’ll be happy together for decades. But looking at the direction society’s going, the newer generations, this kind of openness makes more sense.

Would you ever consider having a mutual agreement with your partner for both to sleep with someone else once or twice a year?


Think of it like driving a Fiat every day and taking a Ferrari for a spin just once in a while, instead of constantly dreaming about it.

 

[Ricky]

The problem with it in general is as guys we would love it but women who sleep with other men get emotionally connected and its hard for a woman to love more than one man at a time typically whereas guys can be in love with multiple women simultaneously.

so giving a woman a hall pass can have really bad results. I found out the hard way in a relationship but don’t care to elaborate

 

[The Duke]

You see things like this online sometimes, Reddit, or this one in Israel, and it really makes you think You could be a mature man, focused on work, building your life, and one day find out your wife has been sleeping with her personal trainer for 5 years. And not just that, she enjoys it.


At 20, I would’ve laughed at this. Now, I still laugh… but in a different way. I understand how this stuff can deeply affect your life and sense of purpose. Maybe you’ve turned down married/engaged women in the past. And maybe you could’ve been that guy, but you chose not to. Why? Because you value something else: honesty, direction, meaning.


Monogamy is hard. What really makes it difficult is desire, it doesn’t just disappear. Sometimes, the person you’re with just doesn’t fulfill you like they used to. So why not allow a consensual escape, once or twice a year, instead of cheating and hiding?
It could make some relationships more honest, more real, fewer games, fewer lies.
Of course, some couples will never need this. They’ll be happy together for decades. But looking at the direction society’s going, the newer generations, this kind of openness makes more sense.

Would you ever consider having a mutual agreement with your partner for both to sleep with someone else once or twice a year?


Think of it like driving a Fiat every day and taking a Ferrari for a spin just once in a while, instead of constantly dreaming about it.

No, only men can fuhk and not get feelings involved. And I'm not taking my woman back after some man nutted in her.

Only woman I'm signing up for will be a Ferrari, no Fiat's for me.

 

[SW15]

Would you ever consider having a mutual agreement with your partner for both to sleep with someone else once or twice a year?

No, I would not consider this arrangement.

This is a form of an open relationship. I don't do open relationships.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Would you ever consider having a mutual agreement with your partner for both to sleep with someone else once or twice a year?

Why limit yourselves to once or twice a year, once you've gone that far? Tantamount to developing a cocaine addiction, then refusing to snort off of any surface that isn't made of balsa wood

 

[jhonny9546]

Why limit yourselves to once or twice a year, once you've gone that far? Tantamount to developing a cocaine addiction, then refusing to snort off of any surface that isn't made of balsa wood

For the sake of the relationship?
Because that is the agreement to keep everything healthy

 

[jhonny9546]

Btw, I just say unfaithful, a movie from year 2002, and it portray life of a cheating woman.
It can never go back guys. Once She cheat, everything is lost. Forever.
I don't like the "idillic" ending, but watch the movie to get a visual representation of what happen.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No, it's fantasy land to think it's going to work.

All that happens is one person ends up wanting out and the other doesn't.

 

[plumber]

if its her idea then you don't want it. its never mutual, its one or the other that wants it. if you really have abundance and its really ok for you like a man with a harem then ok. just agreeing to keep her is really bad news. men will hide the truth behind telling they like it that way.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Duke,
"Only woman I'm signing up for will be a Ferrari, no Fiat's for me"...
Quite So,but staying with your analogy the Fiat will do the same job more reliably for a fraction of the Ferraris Maintenence costs...You may leave it in the parking lot without fear of damage or theft...As the Song goes,"When you're in love with a beautiful Woman You watch your Friends,It never ends..." LOL.

 

[Beyond It]

You see things like this online sometimes, Reddit, or this one in Israel, and it really makes you think You could be a mature man, focused on work, building your life, and one day find out your wife has been sleeping with her personal trainer for 5 years. And not just that, she enjoys it.


At 20, I would’ve laughed at this. Now, I still laugh… but in a different way. I understand how this stuff can deeply affect your life and sense of purpose. Maybe you’ve turned down married/engaged women in the past. And maybe you could’ve been that guy, but you chose not to. Why? Because you value something else: honesty, direction, meaning.


Monogamy is hard. What really makes it difficult is desire, it doesn’t just disappear. Sometimes, the person you’re with just doesn’t fulfill you like they used to. So why not allow a consensual escape, once or twice a year, instead of cheating and hiding?
It could make some relationships more honest, more real, fewer games, fewer lies.
Of course, some couples will never need this. They’ll be happy together for decades. But looking at the direction society’s going, the newer generations, this kind of openness makes more sense.

Would you ever consider having a mutual agreement with your partner for both to sleep with someone else once or twice a year?


Think of it like driving a Fiat every day and taking a Ferrari for a spin just once in a while, instead of constantly dreaming about it.

Why go through all of that when just be bed partners once a week or twice a month?

 

[BadBoy89]

It can never go back guys. Once She cheat, everything is lost. Forever.

What everything? What tangible thing is lost when she cheats?

I had a hot girlfriend form Shanghai for 4 years. She went back and forth from Shanghai every 3 months or so to visit her home, she lived her parents. We would talk twice a week. You know what I never asked her? I never asked her if she cheated down there. Ever. Now I don't think she did because she living with her parents as far I could tell, but even if she did, I NEVER asked her. I didn't care.

The moment when I started caring? When she said we are "common law". I was like "oh o, this girl may want some of my money or assets." Took all her clothes and mailed it back to Shanghai the time she left after that. Told her "sign prenup", she didn't. 4 year relationship over. Knew her for 15 years too. Ouch, Barq's has Bite.

Btw, I just say unfaithful, a movie from year 2002, and it portray life of a cheating woman.
I don't like the "idillic" ending, but watch the movie to get a visual representation of what happen.

The main actress in it is 36 years old. 36! Technically she could be a grandmother.

I'll pass.

 

[jhonny9546]

@Scaramouche
Gold observation!

@BadWatermelon
Not your case, but nobody knows.
You will actually know when she start changing her behaviour.
But you lost everything.
Everything for me means = putting effort in something.
And effort means a ton of things, but mainly, my time, emotional and physical energies.