You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Well, perhaps you need to start mentioning it. Not to brag or try to impress, but include it in the conversation as in "I often cook for my family", now that will show so many positive aspects of your personality without you having to state them one by one.onyx said:I can cook I originally wanted to become a chef, and spent a 3 years training before deciding to do something else that was safer for me in the long run, Not really made a difference with me though, i've never really mentioned it, I cook for my family on a regular basis though.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You're a fvcking fool. I suppose a woman being barefoot and pregnant is your idea of heaven?aussiegoat55 said:I'm personally more of a traditionalist and appreciate being cooked for, being treated like a king. However, I believe it to be a romantic gesture to cook for a woman on special occasions (anniversaries, birthdays, Valentines) or every once in a while (she comes home late from work, is real tired, ill).
Just to quote Anti Dump, I like this one,... "Real men are not available. They are climbing mountains. They are swimming across rivers. What are YOU doing? Making spagetti?!?!?! "
It's always good to have basic and some advanced knowledge of prepping, cooking, food, and wine, but like I said, I prefer my women do the cooking.
Giada is my best friend :flowers: Man I love that woman. She's gorgeous.KarmaSutra said:You're a fvcking fool. I suppose a woman being barefoot and pregnant is your idea of heaven?
You spout this rubbish and I'll bet it's because you can't boil water.
Watch Good Eats on Food Network and let Alton Brown become your best friend.
yes and it is because women know that if a man can cook for himself, he will not settle down with just any old broad that can throw together some hamburger helper. it means he never has to settle, because we were taught "the best way to a man's heart is thru his belly."Charm&Style said:screw what the women thinks...a man who can cook is healthier, happier, and more successful.
"penkitten said:yes and it is because women know that if a man can cook for himself, he will not settle down with just any old broad that can throw together some hamburger helper. it means he never has to settle, because we were taught "the best way to a man's heart is thru his belly."
it means that you have to do everything to impress him, because it will not be your cooking.
i encourage all of you to learn to cook for yourselves before you choose someone to be in a ltr with. i am going to teach my sons before they leave home just as i will teach my daughter's how to maintain the most usual things in a house and car before they leave home. it is because i never want them to feel like they have to settle for the first person that comes along just because they don't know how to do something vital.
does that make any sense or am i rambling?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Ummm, when I was dating in college I'd cooked dinners for my dates which was a mix of marked down strip steaks, frozen mixed vegetables and Ramen noodles. For under $5 I was able to prepare a dinner for two (sometimes with leftovers for the next day). The coeds thought I was fvcking Emeril!Prof said:Works for some and not so much for others. In either case, you're at least not eating ramen...
Whoa, don't get your apron all in a bunch. I bet you're getting defensive because you don't know how to tie knots, row a raft down grade 10 rapids, or climb a mountain. Yeah, lets make assumptions! In my world, women would be pregnant,... and yours? Men would?KarmaSutra said:You're a fvcking fool. I suppose a woman being barefoot and pregnant is your idea of heaven?
You spout this rubbish and I'll bet it's because you can't boil water.
Watch Good Eats on Food Network and let Alton Brown become your best friend.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.