A lil confused..

[QualityGrl]

Hey Guys,

My husband is one you guys.. By that i mean he is all about being a non AFC and setting boundaries and spinning plates.

I am wondering why does my husband resort to porn when I am in the other room, and he knows I will not turn him down. I have mentioned the issue to him but he really hasnt taken measures to fix it, does that have anything to do with all the Non afc theories?
Or
Since he is the spin plates type do you think my inexperience is turning him off,
or

do you think he just doesnt want to have sex w/me until he fixes his problem in the bedroom (lasting a short time)?

And why doesnt he compliment my looks? I am a hot girl and used to many compliments, is this one of the non afc things that he is doing?

Thanks

 

[Exhumed]

He best not be spinning plates if he be your husband betch

 

[QualityGrl]

He best not be spinning plates if he be your husband betch

lol no but he used to with his non exclusive girls before me.

 

[prairiedog24]

The point of sexuality is real intimacy instead of false intimacy, so porn as a substitute for a willing wife (who obviously is wishing he would take her up on the offer) is not healthy behavior.

Perhaps you should consider couple counseling. It never hurts to get some tips from the real experts, especially when it comes to marriage.

 

[DonJuan11]

Hey Guys,

I am wondering why does my husband resort to porn when I am in the other room, and he knows I will not turn him down. I have mentioned the issue to him but he really hasnt taken measures to fix it, does that have anything to do with all the Non afc theories?

I don't know what Non afc theories is, but your husband resorts to porn when you are in the other room because it is quick, easy, the women are hot, always ready and eager to please, and there is no judgment on his performance by the women in porn. It doesn't matter if you won't turn him down or not, all that matters is he gets his quick fix from the women on the screen. It eventually becomes a chemical addiction in his brain since its there, abundant and cheap. The "release" he gets from it is like nothing else, and he always has to go back to it to get the next release, which becomes harder and more graphic porn.

It has nothing to do with you, it's everything with him and the way he was brought up, how he viewed sex and women.

 

[QualityGrl]

I don't know what Non afc theories is, but your husband resorts to porn when you are in the other room because it is quick, easy, the women are hot, always ready and eager to please, and there is no judgment on his performance by the women in porn. It doesn't matter if you won't turn him down or not, all that matters is he gets his quick fix from the women on the screen. It eventually becomes a chemical addiction in his brain since its there, abundant and cheap. The "release" he gets from it is like nothing else, and he always has to go back to it to get the next release, which becomes harder and more graphic porn.

It has nothing to do with you, it's everything with him and the way he was brought up, how he viewed sex and women.

Yes I agree with you, and this is my worry that it will turn in into an addiction and allow our sex life to go from 4 times a month to 1 or 2. Well i guess this should be easier to solve then him not having interest due to my lack of experience. because of all the stuff he always explained to me (that is usually discussed on this site) i always thought he would be one of those guys who make it their duty to "please that booty" lol.. It makes me sad b/c i really maintained my purity and yet i am not reeping the rewards of it as i thought i would be with my husband.

 

[QualityGrl]

he is too macho for a counselor. but thanks.

 

[Daydream Engineer]

So.... your husband is a member of this forum? Around what age is he... and how did you find out he was a don juan?

 

[trajhenkhet02]

This is really getting into some personal territory here. Usually this only happens if the guy isn't getting any (or getting what he likes in the bedroom). According to you, that is not the case. Does he ever turn down your advances over it? Is he just looking at porn? If I didn't know any better it almost sounds like a case of disinterest on his part. It would be something I would guess if I was experiencing that kind of thing. Does he often lie? Not saying you should give the answers (this is the internets after all ), but you just asking these questions may help you figure out what you should do.

 

[hansol]

A think a guy would need to hear the other side of the story before he passes judgement. I mean, for all we know, you (unknowingly) nag the crap out of the guy all day, and nagging is very unsexy and won't do much for performance in the bedroom.

"Maintain purity" = inexperience = boring. Another way to look at it.

I'm not saying you're the problem, but remember, a relationship takes two, and very seldom is just one party at fault.

 

[Igetit!]

A think a guy would need to hear the other side of the story before he passes judgement. I mean, for all we know, you (unknowingly) nag the crap out of the guy all day, and nagging is very unsexy and won't do much for performance in the bedroom.

I'm not saying you're the problem, but remember, a relationship takes two, and very seldom is just one party at fault.

Yeah,this is true.

There's not really enough information here to give a definate answer on why he chooses to look at porn when he has you,an actual real live,willing woman available to him. You didn't really give a lot to go on.

For example: You know he watches porn. Well,when did he start? Did he start recently,or has he been watching it for as long as you remember,even before you two got married?

Also,how would you describe your marriage/relationship? Is it well? And as Hansol said,is it possible that you do nag him? Are you critical of him,or are you a supporting wife? If you could answer these questions HONESTLY without worrying about looking bad to us,maybe we could give you some advice that could help you out...but you have to be truthful.

The reason I say this is because if there are problems in the marriage,and I mean problems that are caused as a result of his or your BEHAVIOR,then it won't matter how "hot" or attractive you are. If you're demeaning or insulting to him,then this'll turn him off. He doesn't have to worry about that with porn. Porn doesn't nag him,it doesn't argue with him about the bills,it doesn't jump all over him when he does something wrong.

So if you could give a little more info about the state of your marriage,maybe we could be a littlwe more helpful.

 

[cola]

You gotta take that d1ck.. turn him on.. be a real s1ut..
Walk in while he's in the shower and with no questions asked start giving him the best head ever..

When he comes home be naked with some heels on and rape him..
If he turns you down in these circumstances, your husband is gay and seek divorce.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Why don't you try watching porn with him?
You can easily pick up on some new things to try out, and you could get him in the mood for doing something with you.

Oh and btw, you can't make him compliment ya so you shouldn't be worrying about that. And this non-AFC stuff...I doubt it's that, because wanting/having sex doesn't make someone an AFC. Rather, watching porn when you could be experiencing it is kinda AFCish.